APH Kids: Quest for the Holy Grail
by Hokuto Uchiha
Summary: AU. Roderich, Gilbert and Ludwig are three cousins who are charged by God with a sacred quest. Inspired by Monty Python and the Holy Grail, except it's a little bit different. Co-written by Musical Ninja.
1. Prologue

**Summary:** AU. Roderich, Gilbert and Ludwig are three cousins who are charged by God with a sacred quest. Kind of a parody of _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_, but I twisted it around a little.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Hetalia, Monty Python, or anything else I'll be using in this fic. They all belong to their respective creators.

**Author's Note:** Some (or all) of the characters may be a bit OOC in this story. Oh, and just like with **Interview With the Beilschmidts**, I originally wrote this on one of my Gaia mule accounts.

* * *

**Prologue**

Hetalia Falls was a small, peaceful town, in the country of Suujiku. This old-fashioned-looking-but-modern town was home to a certain treasure of the entire country: the Holy Grail.

As mentioned before, Hetalia Falls was a peaceful place to live…_was_, until one night, when the Holy Grail was stolen. Hearing about this, most of the able-bodied men in the town left in search of this treasure. This was 6 months ago. No one has heard from them since.

Since that fateful day, the residents of Hetalia Falls have been waiting and waiting for these brave men to return.


	2. Surprise Visit

**Chapter 1: Surprise Visit**

One September day, 18-year-old Roderich Edelstein was home from college for the weekend, along with his girlfriend since high school, Elizabeta Hedervary. Roderich had planned to surprise his aunt Elise Beilschmidt with a visit, and Elizabeta had wanted to surprise _her_ mother, too.

Once the couple reached Roderich's driveway, they got out of the car and went to the door of the Beilschmidt house. Since he had a key, Roderich unlocked the door, and he and Elizabeta stepped inside. Once inside, a 10-year-old boy in jeans and a red hoodie tackled Roderich.

"Roddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" the boy said loudly after tackling the young man, knocking Roderich's glasses off and grabbing them.

"Gilbert!" Roderich exclaimed, startled. "Get off! And give me back my glasses, moron."

"Why?" asked Gilbert. "You don't need 'em."

"I happen to like wearing them," Roderich said stiffly.

Gilbert wiped his runny nose across his sleeve and turned to a 6-year-old boy who was holding a teddy bear. Tossing the glasses to him, Gilbert said, "Here, West! Catch!"

"I got 'em, Gilbo, I got 'em!" the boy known as "West" said excitedly.

"Ludwig," Roderich said, exasperated, "please give me back my glasses."

"But Gilbo's right, Roddy," said Ludwig. "You don't need 'em."

"Ludwig Peter Beilschmidt," Roderich said, holding his hand out for his glasses.

"Okay," Ludwig said, pouting as he handed Roderich's glasses over.

Gilbert then noticed Elizabeta and went over to her, flashing a goofy grin.

"Hey, Lizzie," he said to the young woman. "You're looking beautiful today."

"Why, thank you, Gilbo," Elizabeta said before turning to her boyfriend. "Roddykins, Gilbo's not obnoxious. He's a gentleman." She ruffled Gilbert's hair.

"Trust me," Roderich said, looking annoyed at Gilbert while putting his glasses back on, "you don't know him well enough. He _is _obnoxious."

"So, Roddy, what are you doing home now?" Ludwig asked his cousin. "It's not a holiday."

"Oh, I just wanted to come home for the weekend, Lui," said Roderich.

"That's good!" Gilbert exclaimed, knocking Roderich's glasses off as he tackled the teen to the floor a second time and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

"Why?" Roderich asked, afraid of what the answer might be. "And will you please use a tissue? Your sleeve's not a tissue."

"Becauuuuuse," Gilbert said innocently, "you and Lizzie can help me and my friends look for the Holy Grail and pull pranks on Mom's boss."

"No, no, no, no, no," Roderich said, pushing Gilbert off him and getting up off the floor. "We're not pulling any pranks on Mr. Pancreas."

"But whyyyyyy?" Gilbert whined.

"Because that would be bad for your mom, that's whyyyyyy," said Roderich, mocking Gilbert's whining as he put his glasses back on.

Just then, the front door opened, and Elise, Gilbert and Ludwig's mother, came in. When she saw who was in the house, she smiled.

"Roddy, Lizzie!" she said happily, and hugged the both of them. "This is a surprise."

"Hey, Mrs. Beilschmidt," said Elizabeta. "Roddykins and I just came home to visit for the weekend."

"Yeah," Roderich said.

"Mom, you're home!" Gilbert said, running over and giving his mother a big hug.

"Mommyyyyy!" Ludwig said, doing the same as his older brother.

"Hey, guys," said Elise, and hugged both her sons.

"Mommy," Ludwig said as Elise let him and Gilbert go, "we don't have any juice. Gilbo drank it all."

Gilbert, hearing that, stuck his tongue out at his little brother.

"Okay, I'll go get some more, hon," Elise said, messing up Ludwig's hair. Then she turned to Roderich and Elizabeta.

"Roddy, Lizzie, would you two be okay with watching the boys till I get back?" she asked the young couple. "All they're going to do is go outside and play with their friends, but I just want to make sure they don't kill each other. Oh, and before I forget, make sure Gilbert takes his cold medicine."

"Okay," said Roderich.

"Kill each other?" both Roderich and Elizabeta asked, confused.

"Yeah, they've been fighting each other when left alone lately," Elise said, and sighed. "Must be because their father's still out there somewhere…Well, see you guys in a bit." She then left and went to go get more juice.

* * *

It took Roderich and Elizabeta literally ten minutes to get Gilbert to take his medicine.

"Come on, Gilbo," Roderich said to his little cousin, "you have to take it!" He tried holding Gilbert's head still, but it didn't work. Gilbert knocked the spoon out of Roderich's hand onto the floor.

"Let me try, Roddykins," Elizabeta said while Roderich went to the kitchen to get some paper towels, in order to clean up the mess. Once Roderich was in the kitchen, she bent down to the stubborn child.

"Now, Gilbo," Elizabeta said gently, "if you want to get better, you have to take your medicine, okay?"

"No!" Gilbert said, shaking his head defiantly. "I don't wanna. I'm too awesome for that stuff."

"But Gilbo," said Elizabeta. "If you take this stuff, it'll make you even _more_ awesome than you are now. Then you'll be the _super_ awesome Prussia!"

"No, it won't," Gilbert said, crossing his arms and shaking his head again. "That crap'll just leave a bad taste in my mouth!"

As soon as Gilbert said that, Roderich appeared from behind the living room door.

"Lizzie," Roderich said, motioning for his girlfriend to follow him. "Kitchen, now." He had heard what Elizabeta was saying to Gilbert.

Elizabeta followed Roderich into the kitchen, and Roderich closed the door behind them."What the hell do you think you're doing?" Roderich said."Well, Roddykins," said Elizabeta, "I thought that I should try the gentle approach with your cousin."

"What?" Roderich said incredulously. "_The gentle approach? _You can't try the gentle approach with..._that_!" He gestured towards the door blocking the kitchen from the living room, indicating Gilbert.

"Okay, okay," said a frustrated Elizabeta. "What do you propose we do?"

"I don't need any cold medicine!" Gilbert said to Ludwig. "Your big brother's too awesome for any yucky cold medicine, ha-ha!"

"Yeah!" Ludwig said, agreeing with his older brother.

Right after Ludwig said that, as if on cue, Roderich and Elizabeta came out of the kitchen with a roll of paper towels. Elizabeta bent down and started to clean up the mess Gilbert had made on the living room floor. Good thing there wasn't any carpet!

Roderich then made his way over to his cousins and pointed behind Gilbert while wearing a fake look of shock.

"Roddy?" Ludwig said. "What is it?"

"Gilbo!" Roderich said, feigning fright. "There's something behind you!"

"What?" Gilbert said, starting to get scared. "What is it?""It...i-it looks l-l-like a m-m-m-m-m-monster!" Roderich screamed, still pointing behind him.

At this, Gilbert started to scream, as he was still afraid of monsters. Roderich finally got the cold medicine into Gilbert's mouth and made the boy swallow it.

"YUCK!" Gilbert said after swallowing the medicine. He bolted to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and downed a whole can of Dr. Pepper in order to get the bad taste out of his mouth.

* * *

Roderich and Elizabeta took Gilbert and Ludwig outside to play with their friends. It was then that Gilbert once again voiced a really exciting idea.

"Hey, Francis, Tony!" he said to his friends, Francis Bonnefoy and Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. "Maybe we should go look for...the Holy Grail! Like our dads!"

"I don't know," Francis said uneasily. "It'll be dangerous."

_"¡Sí, mi amigo!"_ Antonio said, excited.

"No, no, no, no, no," Roderich said, walking over to the trio. "We're not going to look for the Grail."

"Aw, man!" Gilbert and Antonio said, pouting and crossing their arms. "But why?" Gilbert said, looking up at his cousin.

"Because...what Francis said, that's why!" Roderich said, pointing at the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy standing on Gilbert's right.

After he said that, Roderich briskly walked away from the kids and rejoined Elizabeta in what they were doing before.

"Geez, what's up with your cousin, Gilbo?" Antonio asked his friend and indicated Roderich.

"I dunno," Gilbert said.

The friends then went back to playing until Gilbert and Ludwig's mother came home from buying juice.

* * *

**Author's Note:** _¡Sí, mi amigo!_ - Yes, my friend! (Spanish)

Oh, and in this story, Francis is 12, and Antonio is 11. In addition, I only called Gilbo and Lui's mother Elise because I thought I should give her a name.

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	3. Message of Destiny

**Author's Note:** Warning: Monty Python and the Holy Grail and The Amanda Show references in this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Message of Destiny**

Elise, Roderich, Gilbert, and Ludwig were all sitting down at the dinner table that night. Roderich kept having to bring Gilbert a tissue box because of his constantly runny nose, and Gilbert and Ludwig were both scarfing down their food like there was no tomorrow.

"Smaller bites, boys, yikes!" Elise said.

"Hey, Mom, guess what?" Gilbert excitedly said to his mother after he was done scarfing down some of his dinner.

"What is it, Gilbo?" Elise said.

'No, no, please don't say that,' Roderich thought, thinking he knew what his little cousin was going to tell Elise. And he also already knew what his aunt's reaction would be if Gilbert mentioned that he wanted to go look for the Grail.

"Roddy, West, and I are going...to an anime convention for a few days!" Gilbert said, flashing his father's grin.

"Wait, we're going to an ani-?" Roderich started to ask before being cut off by Gilbert.

_Ja_, don't you remember, Roddykiiiiins?" Gilbert said, nudging his older cousin in the ribs and mocking Roderich with the nickname used by Elizabeta.

"Don't call me Roddykins!" Roderich said. "Only Elizabeta's allowed to call me that."

"Oh, okay," Elise said. "Do you boys need any money for a hotel?"

"Sure," Roderich said, going along with Gilbert's lie. He took the money his aunt gave him and put it in his wallet.

"YAAAAAYYYYYYY!" Ludwig said, jumping up and down with joy. "We're going to an anime convention!" Being only 6, Ludwig really _did _believe it when Gilbert said that he, Gilbert, and Roderich were going to an anime convention.

* * *

Later that night, after the dishes were washed and the food put away, Gilbert, Ludwig, and Roderich climbed into their beds; the boys all shared a room. Roderich didn't mind sharing a room with his cousins.

"Good night, boys," Elise said, smiling.

"Night," Gilbert and Ludwig said.

"Good night, Auntie," said Roderich.

Elise smiled at her nephew and sons, turned on the nightlight for Ludwig, turned off the light, and left to go to bed herself.

In the boys' room, Ludwig picked up his Rockabye Ralph doll. He squeezed it, and said, "Good night, Rockabye Ralph."

"Good night. Go to sleep. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite. Night-night," said the doll.

Gilbert and Ludwig were both asleep with smiles on their faces as the doll kept talking.

"Sleep, sleep, sleep. Snooze, snooze, snooze. Go to sleep," the doll said over and over.

Roderich was unable to sleep, so he took out his small, portable radio and switched it to the classical station.

When the music played, the doll kept on talking, this time in the same rhythm as the music on the radio.

"Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, goooo to sleep," sang the doll.

When the doll kept singing, Gilbert and Ludwig opened their eyes. Gilbert got out of bed and turned off Roderich's radio. He then went back to bed and tried to fall asleep to his little brother's Rockabye Ralph.

"What the-?" Roderich said. "You can sleep through that doll's babbling, but my music wakes you up?"

As the boys were about to go back to sleep, they saw a very bright light shining outside their window.

"What's that, Roddy?" Ludwig asked, clinging to Roderich's arm.

"I don't know," Roderich said, going towards the window.

"Maybe it's an alien spacecraft!" Gilbert said.

"Gilbo, you've been watching too many sci-fi movies, moron," Roderich said to his cousin.

The three boys went up to the window, and Roderich drew back the curtains. The light blinded them for a second, and in the light they saw God staring at them.

"Roderich Edelstein and Gilbert and Ludwig Beilschmidt of Hetalia Falls," said God, his voice booming.

"Get down, boys!" Roderich whispered to his cousins and forced them down on their knees.

"Oh, don't grovel at me!" God said in an annoyed tone. "One thing I can't stand is people groveling."

"Sorry," Roderich said, squinting.

"And don't apologize!" said God. "Every time I try to talk to someone, it's always "Sorry" this and "Forgive me" that and "I'm not worthy". What are you doing now?"

"We're averting our eyes, O Lord," Roderich said as he, Gilbert, and Ludwig tore their eyes away from God and the spectacular light.

"Well, don't! That annoys me, too. It's like those miserable Psalms-they're so depressing. Now knock it off!" said God, really irritated.

"Yes, Lord," said Gilbert as he, his brother, and his cousin looked up at God once again.

"Right!" said God. "Now, Roderich Edelstein and Gilbert and Ludwig Beilschmidt of Hetalia Falls. You have been chosen by me to go on a sacred quest. You three must round up a team of other children and go out into the world in search of the Holy Grail, because it was stolen."

"We know that the Grail was stolen, but do you think that that's a good idea, O Lord?" Roderich asked God uneasily.

"Don't question God!" Gilbert and Ludwig whispered to their cousin.

"Of course it's a good idea!" God bellowed at Roderich, and then showed the three boys a picture of the Grail.

"Behold, children!" God continued. "This is the Holy Grail. Look well, boys, for it's up to you to seek it and bring it back to Suujiku. That is your quest, boys. The quest for the Holy Grail."

After this message, the spectacular light and the picture of the Holy Grail disappeared, and God was no longer outside the boys' bedroom window.

"Okay..." Roderich said. "That was weird." He then climbed back into bed.

"Yeah, but since God told us to, we have to go look for the Grail now, Roddy," Gilbert said when he and Ludwig were in bed as well.

"Oh no," Roderich groaned.

As he tried to sleep, Roderich kept getting woken up by Ludwig's Rockabye Ralph.

"Sleep, sleep, sleep. Snooze, snooze, snooze," said the doll as Gilbert and Ludwig slept peacefully.

"_Mein Gott"_, Roderich said to himself. He then got up and went to the guest room of the house. He slept better in there that night.

Boy, were the Beilschmidt brothers and Roderich in for a load of adventures, thanks to God!

* * *

**Author's Note:** Oh, in case nobody got the Amanda Show reference in this chapter, it's the constantly singing Rockabye Ralph doll from one of the sketches.

_Ja_- Yes (or yeah, in Gilbert's case) (German)

_Mein Gott_- My God (German)


	4. Roderich, Start Your Engine!

**Author's Note:** WARNING: This chapter contains Francis being…well, Francis.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Roderich, Start Your Engine!**

The next morning, Roderich was woken up at 8:00 with a jolt by none other than Gilbert and Ludwig, who were jumping up and down on the bed in the guest room.

"C'mon, Roddy, get up!" Gilbert shouted at the top of his lungs.

'Typical Gilbert behavior,' Roderich thought.

"Roddy, Roddy, get up, get uuuuuuuuuup! It's time to goooooooo!" shouted Ludwig, who now started to shake poor Roderich until the young man was dizzy.

"Alright, I'm up! Stop torturing me already," said Roderich as he got up and put his glasses on.

"Whaddya putting those on for?" Gilbert asked. "Like I said before, you don't need 'em, _Rooooooddykiiiiins_."

"And I already told you that I like wearing these. I look plain without them," said Roderich. "And stop calling me Roddykins! Only Elizabeta is allowed to call me that, _GilGil_," he continued, mocking Gilbert with the pet name that the boy hated.

Gilbert growled under his breath at the embarrassing pet name that Roderich had given him when he was 2 and left to get changed. Ludwig followed him.

After the boys were dressed, all three of them went downstairs, where they saw Elise dressed and getting ready to leave.

"Oh, boys, I didn't think you'd be up yet," Elise said when she saw her sons and nephew. "I've gotta go to work now. You guys have fun at the convention, okay?"

"'Kay, Mommy," Gilbert and Ludwig said at the same time.

"Yeah," said Roderich. 'An anime convention….' he thought nervously. 'What if she finds out that we never went?'

"'Bye, guys," Elise said happily, hugged the boys, and went off to her job.

* * *

An hour later, Roderich, Gilbert, and Ludwig went outside. They had to round up some people to form a team so they could go on their quest for the Grail.

"So, Roddy, who are ya gonna round up for the quest?" Gilbert asked.

"I don't think we're going," said Roderich. "It's dangerous."

"But Roddy, we have to!" said Gilbert. "God told us to!"

"Yeah! And if you don't do as God says, Roddy, you'll be in BIG trouble!" said Ludwig, hugging his teddy bear.

"Oh, and if God told you to jump off the roof of the palace in the North, would you do it, _LuLu_?" Roderich said sarcastically, using the pet name that Ludwig didn't like so much.

"N...N-No..." Ludwig said.

"That's not the point, Roddy!" Gilbert said, annoyed at his older cousin. "The point is that God gave us a task, and we have to do it! Plus, my dad's been gone longer than he was supposed to be, and I'm getting worried!"

He turned to walk away, and then stopped and spoke to Roderich again.

"Oh," said Gilbert, "also, if you don't go on this quest, then I'll tell my mom about what happened that brought the whole house down 7 years ago, haha!"

After saying that, Gilbert walked off to go find some people for their team. He soon met up with Francis and Antonio, his two best friends.

"Oh, okay, I'll go!" Roderich called to his cousin.

"7 years ago?" Ludwig asked, looking up at Roderich. "What happened 7 years ago? What brought the house down 7 years ago?"

"Uh...n-n-n-n-n-n-nothing, Lui, nothing at all," Roderich lied. He didn't want to tell Ludwig what happened back then.

* * *

"Francis! Tony!" Gilbert exclaimed. He ran over to his friends.

"Hola, amigo," said Antonio and bit into a churro. He offered one to Gilbert. "Want one?"

"Sure!" Gilbert said, taking the churro and eating it. "Yummy!"

"_Salut_, mon ami," said Francis, who was, unknown to Gilbert and Antonio, taking his clothes off. After he took his clothes off, Francis started to sing. _**C'est un monde nu, nu! **_he sang, running around...that is, until Roderich saw him and caught him.

"Good God, Francis, put your clothes back on, you imbecile!" Roderich exclaimed while covering Ludwig's eyes.

"Roddy, I can't see," Ludwig whined.

"You don't want to see Francis right now, Lui," said Roderich. He turned to Francis and said, "Put your clothes back on now!"

"Francis!" Gilbert and Antonio shouted, carrying Francis' clothes with them.

"Put these back on!" Antonio said, throwing Francis his clothes.

"Oh, okay," Francis said, and went behind a bush to get re-dressed.

"Why doesn't anyone here want to be naked? Is nakedness so wrong?" he asked when he came back from putting his clothes back on.

"Because it's just wrong," said Roderich, now uncovering Ludwig's eyes.

"Yeah," Gilbert said. "Anywho," he continued, turning to his friends, "Roddy, West, and I were charged by God with a sacred quest. We need to form a team to go seek and bring back the Holy Grail. What do ya say to coming on this quest with us...especially with the awesome me?" Gilbert said, pointing to himself as he finished.

"Yeah!" Antonio said excitedly.

"Um, okay," said Francis a little nervously.

"Great!" said Gilbert happily.

Just then, Ludwig ran off to talk to his best friends, Feliciano and Kiku, and Elizabeta came out of her house.

"Lizzie!" said Roderich, running over to his girlfriend. "Listen, there's this quest that God gave me and my cousins last night."

"A quest?" asked Elizabeta.

"Yes," said Roderich. "Us three have been charged with the task of seeking and bringing back the Holy Grail, because it was, well, stolen."

"But everyone knows it was stolen," said Elizabeta. "And that's why most of the men in the village-even our fathers-are out in the world right now. They're looking for it."

"I know that," Roderich said, "but God, for some reason, has put me and my two little cousins in charge of finding and bringing back the thing. And He said that we need to form a team to help us in our quest. Will you join us, Lizzie?"

"Sure, Roddykins!" Elizabeta said excitedly. "Just let me go get a frying pan."

"For what?" Roderich asked, confused as to why his girlfriend would need a frying pan on their journey.

"For fighting enemies, of course!" said Elizabeta. She ran back into her house and came back out just as quickly with a cast-iron frying pan.

"Thanks, Lizzie," Roderich said, happy that he might have _at least _one sane person on this trip to talk to.

* * *

Ludwig was talking to Feliciano and Kiku, his friends' older brothers standing nearby.

"Um, guys," said Ludwig.

"Yes?" said Feliciano.

"What is it?" Kiku asked his friend.

"Um, there's this quest that me and Gilbo and Roddy have to go on, and we need to form a team to do it," said Ludwig while looking down at his feet.

"What kind of quest?" asked Kiku.

"God told me and Gilbo and Roddy last night that we have to go and find the Holy Grail and bring it back here," Ludwig said, now looking at his friends.

"Ve~, the Holy Grail?" said Feliciano.

"Yeah," said Ludwig. "Um...do you guys wanna be part of our team?" he asked.

"Sure!" said Feliciano.

"Of course," said Kiku.

"Yay!" said Ludwig.

Just then, Yao and Lovino came up to the three 6-year-olds.

"Hey, potato bastard, I'm coming along too!" yelled Lovino. "My little brother's not going anywhere without me!" Because of what he called Ludwig, Lovino earned a hit on the head from Yao and his wok.

"Lovi, don't call little Lui such mean names, aru!" said Yao. He turned to the boys. "I'm gonna go, too, aru," he said. "I'm not missing out on this! And I'll have my trusty wok with me!"

"Awesome!" Gilbert said, running over to Ludwig and his friends. "So, Yao, Kiku, Lovi, and Feli are coming, too?"

"Yeah, Gilbo," Ludwig said happily.

Roderich beeped the car horn.

"Come on, guys!" he called. "Time to go!"

"'Kay, Roddy," Gilbert and Ludwig said, running over to their cousin. They climbed in the back seat. Elizabeta was in the front passenger seat, and the Honda and Vargas brothers climbed in the back as well.

Just before they were about to leave, however, three voices were heard coming towards them.

"Wait!" said Alfred F. Jones, his younger twin brother, Matthew, and older brother, Arthur, trailing behind him.

"Bloody hell! Al! Wait for us!" Arthur shouted.

"Yeah, Al, wait up," said Matthew.

"C'mon, you guys are so slow!" Alfred shouted, already in the back of the car.

Arthur and Matthew, along with their pet polar bear cub, Kumajirou, climbed in the back with Alfred.

Next came the three Braginski siblings: Katyusha, Ivan, and Natalia.

Then came Feliks Lukasiewicz and Toris Lorinaitis, and then Vash Zwingli.

"Okay, everyone," said Roderich. "Let's go look for the stupid Grail." He started the car and drove out of Hetalia Falls, out of Suujiku.

"It's not called the _Stupid_ Grail, Roddy," said Alfred. "It's called the _Holy_ Grail! Dummy!"

"Shut up, Al," said Arthur, and took a wrapped burger out of his jacket pocket. "Here," he said to his little brother, handing him the burger. "Eat this and shut up."

"YUMMY!" Alfred shouted, and scarfed down the entire burger.

'This trip is gonna be a nightmare,' Roderich thought despairingly.

* * *

**Author's Note:** In this story, Vash is 18, Feliks, Toris, Natalia, Alfred, and Matthew are 5, Katyusha's 10, Ivan's 7, Yao's about 12 or 13, and Lovino and Arthur are 9. Kiku and Feliciano are both the same age as Ludwig.

_Salut_- Hello (informal) (French)

_C'est un monde nu, nu!_-It's a naked, naked world! (French)

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	5. On the Open Road

**Author's Note:** WARNING: "Last Exile" reference towards the end of this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 4: On the Open Road**

'_This trip's going to be a nightmare,_' Roderich thought despairingly as he drove his car out of Hetalia Falls, out of Suujiku.

Not only was he stuck on this God-charged quest with his two baby cousins, but he was also stuck with: a boy who likes to strip and run around naked whenever he gets the chance (Francis); an air headed boy who can never "read the atmosphere" (Antonio); a loud-mouthed, obnoxious, burger-and-super-heroes-obsessed 5-year-old (Alfred); two little Italian boys who are obsessed with tomatoes and pasta (Lovino and Feliciano); a scary little girl who wants to marry her equally scary (or less scary) older brother (Natalia); a 7-year-old who wants everyone to become one with him (Ivan); a kid who has bad taste in food (Arthur); a feminine-looking boy (at least the kid _says_ he's a boy) who talks like a valley girl (Feliks); and a young man who loooooves to carry guns around everywhere he goes (Vash).

Katyusha, Elizabeta, Yao, and Kiku were easy to deal with, however…although Kiku almost always said "no" to everything, and nobody, except for Yao, could _ever _tell what the boy was thinking.

"So, Roddy," said Gilbert, stopping to wipe his nose on his sleeve.

"What is it, Gilbo?" asked Roderich.

"You and Lizzie have been going out since high school, right?" said Gilbert.

"Yeah," said Roderich. "What about it?"

"Well, I was wondering...when are you two gonna tie the knot?" asked the runny-nosed 10-year-old.

"Yeah, when, Roooooodykiiiiins?" said Vash, laughing while teasing Roderich and giving Gilbert a high-five behind Roderich's back.

"Not anytime soon, you nimrods!" exclaimed Roderich, turning red from embarrassment. "When Lizzie and I are done with college, okay?"

"Sure," said Gilbert sarcastically.

Roderich rolled his eyes at his little cousin. That was when he realized that the gas meter was almost on E.

"Guys, we have to stop to get gas," he said to the group.

"Okay," said Ivan while trying to get to Toris and pushing Natalia away at the same time.

"Brother, we must get marrieeeeeeeed!" Natalia whined, clinging to her older brother.

"No, I don't wanna get married to you!" said Ivan. "Katyusha, help!" he exclaimed to his older sister.

"Natalia, stop it," said Katyusha, pulling Natalia off of their brother.

"Hey, Toris, let's play," said Ivan. The boy smiled evilly as he inched closer and closer to poor Toris.

"N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-No..." said Toris, afraid of Ivan and backing away from the Russian.

Feliks inched his way in front of Toris and confronted Ivan.

"Hey, dude," said Feliks, "I told you, like, a thousand zillion times, don't touch Liet or else my uncle Daniel will totally make Moscow Warsaw!"

"Okay," said Ivan, going back to his side of the back seat, pouting.

"Guys, please, don't fight," Roderich said, getting annoyed while trying to find an open gas pump. He couldn't find one.

Just then, Yao pointed out of the window.

"Hey, look at that guy shaking his big butt, aru!" he said, laughing.

Roderich and the others looked to where Yao was pointing and started to crack up. What they saw was this: A big, ugly man was at one of the gas pumps, shaking his butt and singing the theme song to "Tiny Toon Adventures."

Gilbert and Ludwig rolled down their window, pointed at the man, and laughed out loud at him.

The man heard Gilbert and Ludwig laughing at him and turned around, glaring in the direction of the group. He advanced towards the car and started to yell.

"Hey!" said the angry, big, ugly man. "What are you brats laughing at?" As he got closer to the car, he got a better look at Gilbert and Ludwig. "Wait a minute; you two look like someone I know."

Just then, Roderich and the others got scared of this man.

"Guys, roll up your window, now!" Roderich exclaimed to his cousins in the back.

"Roddykins, drive, drive!" Elizabeta yelled to her boyfriend.

The group drove away, and the angry man got back in the driver's seat of his car.

"Bison, what are you doing?" asked a man in the passenger seat.

"I'm following them," Bison said angrily.

"Why...?" the other man asked.

"Because those two brats laughed at me," said Bison. "Plus, they look a lot like Elise Valca."

"Maybe those two are her kids," said the passenger.

"Maybe," said Bison. He smiled evilly as he followed Roderich and the others to the next country.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Just in case anyone didn't get the "Last Exile" reference in this chapter, it's Gilbert and Ludwig's mother's maiden name, Valca. It's the last name of one of the two main characters of that anime.


	6. Meet the Warners

**Author's Note:** WARNING: Francis being…Francis again at some point in this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Meet the Warners**

The kids were just outside of the country Warnerstock when Roderich finally found a gas station. And, luckily, there was a pump available!

"Okay, guys," said Roderich as he stepped out of the car to get gas, "why don't you go get some sodas or something? And you two," he continued, looking at his cousins, "please, _please_, don't kill each other, okay?"

"Okay, Roddykins," Gilbert and Ludwig said in unison before running inside with the others.

"And don't call me Roddykins!" Roderich called to them. "Only Lizzie's allowed to call me that!" He then proceeded to fill the gas tank.

* * *

Meanwhile, inside the gas station, Gilbert, Ludwig, and their friends were scrambling over the Slurpee machine, while Vash and Elizabeta were doing their best to keep a close eye on them, as they had to watch 16 hyper kids.

"Hey, Francis, Tony," said Gilbert, trying to get his friends' attention. "I'm gonna make the ULTIMATE SLURPEEEEEE!" He grinned and did the peace sign. Gilbert got the biggest cup and then proceeded to put every single flavor into the cup.

"Uh, Gilbo," said Elizabeta, "don't you think that's a little much?"

"Ah, Lizzie, don't be like Roddykins," said Gilbert, and went back to making his Slurpee.

Elizabeta sighed and said, "It's not the money I'm worried about, Gilbo. You're using _every flavor_...and some of those flavors don't even go well together!"

"But I'm the awesome Prussia, so I've _gotta_ make an Ultimate Slurpee," Gilbert said while using the moe eye trick on Elizabeta.

"There's no talking you out of making that thing, is there?" Elizabeta asked.

"Nope," said Gilbert with a big grin.

"I'm getting a beer," said Vash, and went to buy a pack of beer.

After everyone was all done and paid for their stuff, they got back in the van. Roderich started the engine and drove out of the parking lot and onto the road. It was then that Ludwig asked Gilbert something that Roderich was embarrassed about.

"Um, Gilbo?" Ludwig said, pulling on his brother's jacket sleeve.

"What is it, West?" said Gilbert.

"What happened 7 years ago that made the house fall down and go boom?" the younger boy asked.

"Well-" Gilbert began.

"Wait, GilGil, what are you telling Ludwig?" Roderich asked nervously.

"Oh, nothing cuz," Gilbert lied, and went back to talking to his little brother.

"You see," Gilbert began again, "one day, when Roderich was 11 and I was 3-"

"Gilbert Wilhelm Beilschmidt, don't you dare-!" Roderich said, knowing what Gilbert was going to tell Ludwig. But he was too late, because Gilbert kept on telling the story of what brought the house down.

"-Roddy was trying to tap dance," Gilbert continued.

"Roddy tried tap dancing?' Ludwig asked, holding in laughter.

"Yeah," said Gilbert. "Anywho, Roddy and I were home alone, and he had to watch me. I don't know why, I'm too awesome for a babysitter. Well, I was throwing water balloons at Eva Heinemann from my window."

"Where was Roddy?" asked Ludwig.

"He was downstairs," said Gilbert.

"Gilbert, I'm warning you!" Roderich said, getting mad.

"Shut up, Roddy, I'm not finished," said Gilbert. He then turned back to Ludwig.

"Tell me more!" exclaimed Ludwig, bouncing in his seat with anticipation.

"Okay, okay," said Gilbert. "Well, when I was about to throw my twentieth balloon at the ugly Eva Heinemann, I felt the whole house shaking, and I thought it was an earthquake. I tried to run downstairs to tell Roderich, but I tripped and fell down them instead. When I saw Roddykins-"

"Don't call me Roddykins!" exclaimed Roderich.

"-I saw him tap dancing in the living room."

"And then what happened?" Ludwig asked, his eyes growing wider (and cuter) with Gilbert's story.

"I tried to tell Roddy to stop, but the whole house came down on top of us!" said Gilbert.

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Feliks, who happened to hear the story.

"Yaaaaaaaaaahhhh!" said Feliciano, scared; he also happened to hear it.

"Gilbert..." said Roderich.

"Well, I thought I was gonna die, but then Roderich pulled me out," Gilbert continued. "And then, when we were both in the hospital, Roddy told Mommy that this guy called Bison was drunk and tore down the house with us in it."

"What?" said Vash. "Roderich, why did you do that?"

"Hey, I was 11! Give me a break!" said Roderich.

"So that's what happened 7 years ago?" asked Ludwig.

"Yup," said Gilbert. "Now you know, West."

For the rest of the trip to Warnerstock, Roderich had to deal with a bunch of loud and hyper kids. The only sane people (to him) on this trip were Elizabeta, Matthew, Katyusha, and Yao.

Just when they were outside of the nearest town in Warnerstock, which was Acme Falls, Roderich had to stop the car because Gilbert had to go to the bathroom after drinking his whole Ultimate Slurpee. After Gilbert was done, they continued into Acme Falls.

* * *

When they arrived in Acme Falls, Roderich stopped the car.

"We'll stay at a hotel for the night," he said to the group. He got out of the car and decided to ask one of the cops; he assumed that, seeing as they're the police, they'd know the neighborhood well.

"Excuse me," said Roderich, "but do you know where the nearest hotel is?"

"Uh, I don't think you're gonna find any available rooms with the anime convention in town," said the cop (whose name was Ralph, by the way).

"Wait...there's an anime convention here?" said Gilbert, running excitedly out of the car and smiling with big, red, moe eyes.

"Uh, yeah," said Ralph.

"Awesome!" said Gilbert happily. "C'mon, Roddy, we gotta goooo!" Gilbert tried to pull his older cousin away, but Roderich got out of his grip.

"Oh, okay," Roderich said to Ralph. "Well, we'll try anyway."

Roderich and Gilbert got back in the car. Everyone went around, asking about any hotel vacancies, but no luck there. Every single hotel they looked at was full.

At their next stop, a Best Western, Roderich was walking back to the car when he saw that one kid was missing: Francis.

"Gilbo," he said. "Where's Francis?"

"Oh, he said that he was gonna see if any hotel rooms were open," said Gilbert.

Just then, Roderich and the others saw Francis running around naked in the streets.

_**"It's a naked, naaaked world!" **_Francis sang as he streaked by.

Unfortunately, he streaked past three children, who, unknown to him, were the Princes and Princess of Warnerstock. The oldest out of the three covered his younger siblings' eyes so they wouldn't see naked Francis, and closed his own eyes as well.

Ralph then came up to Francis, grabbed his arm, and dragged him to the police station.

"Hey, what are you doing, _monsieur_?" Francis asked the police officer in confusion.

"Uh, you're under arrest for indecent exposure, kid!" said Ralph.

"Aw, come on!" said Francis. "Everyone does it! It's such a joy to be naked!"

"Uh, not in _this_ town, it's not," said Ralph as he dragged Francis inside the police station.

"Roddy, do something!" Gilbert whispered.

Roderich went to the police station and talked to Ralph.

"Excuse me," he said.

"Oh, I remember you," said Ralph. "You're the guy who wanted a hotel, right?"

"Yeah," said Roderich. "Anyway, I believe you brought in a 12-year-old boy with shoulder-length blond hair? He was naked?"

"Oh, him," said Ralph. "Yeah, he was streaking in front of everyone."

"Well, if there's a fine, I'll pay it, whatever it is," said Roderich.

"Okay," said Ralph, and went to the holding cell, where Francis was. "Uh, okay, kid, you can go now."

"Oh, thank God!" said Francis, relieved.

"Come on, Francis," said Roderich, annoyed. He then threw a bundle of clothes at the naked boy before him. "Put these on," he said.

"Oh, okay," said Francis, pouting as he got dressed.

After Roderich paid the fine for Francis' streaking, he and Francis left the police station and went back to the car.

"I can't believe I had to pay a $500 fine because of your stupid friend, Gilbo," he said to his cousin, annoyed and exasperated.

Before Roderich could start the car again, Gilbert, Ludwig, and the other kids ran off, leaving Roderich, Vash, and Elizabeta behind.

"Come back here!" Elizabeta yelled.

* * *

The group of kids ran around, looking for the anime convention's location. When they found it, they were stopped by a voice from behind them. When the kids turned around, they were face-to-face with the Princes and Princess of Warnerstock.

"Hey, Yakko," said the little girl, pointing at Francis, "there's the naked world kid."

"Yeah," said the oldest kid, named Yakko. "What was with the naked, bud?"

"Well," said Francis, "I think the entire world should be naked."

"Eeeeeeewwwwwwww," said the younger boy.

"You can say that again, Wakko," Yakko said to his younger brother.

"Eeeeeeewwwwwwww," Wakko said again, taking what his older brother said literally.

"And who are you guys?" said the little girl, directing her question at the whole group, including Francis.

"I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt, and this is my favorite baby brother, Ludwig," Gilbert said, putting his arm around Ludwig.

"Wait...your name's...Ludwig?" the girl said. Then she started cracking up, which made Ludwig a little upset.

"Hey, Dot, be nice," Yakko scolded his sister.

"Aw, but Yakko," whined Dot, "his name's dumb!"

"I know, but let's get these other guys' names first," Yakko said.

"I'm Antonio Fernandez Carriedo," said Antonio, "and these are my cousins, Francis Bonnefoy, and Lovino and Feliciano Vargas." He indicated Francis, Lovino, and Feliciano.

"I'm Yao Honda, and this is my little brother Kiku," Yao said, taking a look at Kiku.

"And, like, I'm Feliks Lukasiewicz," said Feliks.

"I'm Toris Lorinaitis," said Toris shyly, trying to get away from Ivan.

"I'm Katyusha Braginski," said Katyusha, "and these are my brother Ivan and my sister Natalia." She indicated the scary little girl clinging to the equally-scary-or-less boy, who was trying to get away from her and go for Toris again.

"I'm Yakko Warner," said Yakko. "And," he continued, gesturing towards his little brother and sister, "these are my siblings, Wakko and Dot Warner."

"What kind of name is Dot?" said Lovino.

"My _real_ name is Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the Third," said Dot, putting her hands on her hips.

"Yaaaahhhhhhh, my head hurts!" Feliciano said while holding his head in his hands.

"Uhhh...why don't you just stick with Dot?" said Arthur. "Oh, I'm Arthur Jones, and these are my brothers, Alfred and Matthew," he said, introducing himself and his brothers.

"And this is Kumajirou," Matthew said quietly, holding up Kumajirou.

After the introductions were made, Yakko asked the group, "So, what brings you guys here?"

"We're here for the anime convention," said Gilbert.

"Cool! We're going there, too," said Wakko.

"Awesome!" said Gilbert.

Wakko turned to talk to Feliks.

"So, Feliks," he said. "Are you a boy or a girl?"

Feliks sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Like, I'm a boy," he said to the younger Warner sibling.

"Oh," said Wakko.

Just as they were talking, Roderich, Vash, and Elizabeta showed up.

"Guys, come on, we have to go," said Roderich.

"Where are you going?" asked Wakko.

"We've gotta find some rooms," said Alfred.

"Why don't you stay with us?" said Yakko.

"Yeah. Most of the hotels are packed," said Wakko.

"Uh, no thanks, kids," Roderich said rather quickly. He grabbed his cousins and said, "We've gotta run now, bye."

"Roddykins, that's rude," Gilbert said, frowning. "They offered us a place to stay."

"Yeah!" Ludwig said. "So why don't we stay with them, _Rooooooddykiiiins_?"

"You two are so annoying!" Roderich finally yelled at them. "I really wish something bad would happen to the both of you!"

"Uh, Roderich, please don't yell, aru," said Yao.

"Yeah, you're making Feli cry, you aristocrat bastard," Lovino said, glaring at Roderich as he tried to comfort his crying little brother.

"Yeah, stop yelling at them," Yakko, Wakko, and Dot said in unison.

"First of all," Roderich snapped at Yao, "don't tell me to stop. And stop saying aru!"

"Second of all," he continued, turning to Lovino, "you better watch your language. And I'm no aristocrat."

Roderich then turned on the Warner siblings. "And you three," he said, "stay out of this."

This made Yao and Lovino a little scared to approach the Austrian. Roderich then went back to yelling at his cousins, who were now on the verge of crying.

"I wish that you two would just...I dunno, disappear!" he snapped, which finally made Gilbert and Ludwig cry and run off.

"Kids, come back," Elizabeta pleaded, catching and hugging them. "Roddykins is just a little stressed, that's all," she assured the boys. "Come on, I'll take you guys to the park."

She turned to Roderich. "Roddy, I'm taking Gilbo and Lui to the park for a few minutes, okay?" she said.

"Sure, whatever," Roderich said irratably.

"I'm just gonna go with Lizzie and the boys," said Vash. "Oh, and Roderich," he said, turning to the young man with the fake glasses. "Be careful what you wish for, 'cause you just might get it."

With that, Vash turned and walked away with Elizabeta and the kids, including the Warners.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," said Roderich, rolling his eyes and driving until he reached a Comfort Inn. Then he got out of the car and walked inside the hotel to see if there were any rooms.

* * *

Elizabeta, Vash, and the kids arrived at the park a few minutes later. The kids immediately ran over to the swing sets and slides, happy again. Vash and Elizabeta went over to the kids and started to push them on the swings.

"Higher, Lizzie, higher!" Gilbert shouted excitedly.

"Alright, Gilbo," said Elizabeta, and pushed Gilbert as high as she could.

"C'mon, Vash, higher, higher!" Alfred yelled as Vash pushed him as high as he could.

Little did the group know that someone was watching them in the shadows.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Whew! *wipes forehead* Glad that's done ^_^ What'll happen next?

Oh, anyway:

_Monsieur_- Sir, or Mr. (French)


	7. Wish Granted, Roddykins, Part I

**Chapter 6: Wish Granted, Roddykins, Part I**

In the park, Gilbert, Ludwig, and Alfred got off of their swings, and Wakko took a football out of his gag bag.

"Gilbo, go long!" he said to the platinum blond-haired boy across from him. Wakko threw the football to Gilbert, who caught it and then turned to his younger brother.

"West, catch!" he called, and threw the football to Ludwig, who never caught it because of Lovino jumping up in front of him and catching it instead.

"Hey, no fair, Lovino!" said Ludwig.

"Gotta be quicker, potato bastard," Lovino said, mocking the now pouting 6-year-old.

"Lovi, that's not nice, big brother," Feliciano said.

"Don't care, Feli," said Lovino.

"Gimme the ball!" Ludwig said, trying to get it from the older Italian.

"Try and get it, shrimpy potato bastard," said Lovino, now laughing.

Gilbert, Wakko, Alfred, and Matthew-who was holding Kumajirou-then walked up to Ludwig and the Vargas brothers.

"Please be nice," Matthew said quietly, trying in vain to make peace between the trio. Nobody heard him, though.

"Hey, stop that!" said Alfred. The three kids stopped fighting right after Alfred chimed in.

Then Arthur walked up to the group.

"Can we play a bloody game of catch now?" he said, annoyed.

"Okay, big brother!" Alfred said excitedly and grabbed the football out of Lovino's hands. He threw the ball to Arthur, who caught it and threw it to Feliks.

"Liet, catch!" said Feliks, throwing the ball to Toris, who caught it just as Ivan was trying to advance on him again. Feliks saw this and, glaring, walked up to Ivan.

"Hey, Ivan!" he said. "If you, like, so much as touch Liet, my uncle'll totally make Russia's capital Warsaw! Now, do you want that, dude? I, like, don't think so!"

"Okay," Ivan said, pouting and walking away to play with Yao.

"Thanks, Feliks," Toris said to his friend.

"No prob, bro!" Feliks said and put his arm around Toris.

Bison reached out from the bushes to grab an ususpecting Ludwig, only for Elizabeta to call the boy over, as lunch was ready. Instead, Bison ended up grabbing a bee's nest.

Once he realized he had this in his hand instead of the younger Beilschmidt brother, he screamed and threw it at one of his subordinates, who ended up getting stung by a bunch of angry bees.

"Bison, what the hell?" said the bee sting man.

"Well, _I_ didn't wanna get stung," Bison said matter-of-factly, shrugging his shoulders.

"Asshole!" said the man who got stung.

Bison then looked over at Vash, Elizabeta, and the kids, and saw the Warner siblings among them, so he decided to grab them as well as the Beilschmidt brothers.

Then Shadowlaw's leader set a snare trap for the kids. He placed a bag of candy in the middle of the rope and hid in the bushes and waited.

About a minute later, Gilbert was walking by and telling Yakko how famous his grandfather was; the oldest Warner found this really interesting, as he had heard of Germania Beilschmidt.

"That's awesome, Gilbo!" Yakko said enthusiastically. "I can't believe I'm actually talking to one of the grandkids of such a great hero! That's so cool!"

"Ah, it's nothing really special," Gilbert said modestly. "Wait, what am I kidding? I'm _awesome_!" he spoke up again, grinning.

Elizabeta, hearing this, looked at Gilbert.

'A little modesty wouldn't hurt, Gilbo,' she thought.

Gilbert then saw the bag of candy that Bison placed in his snare trap.

"Yummy! Candy!" he exclaimed, running toward the trap.

"That might belong to somebody," said Yakko. "But, then again, finders/keepers, so..." He, too, ran toward Bison's trap.

Just then, they were both stopped by Elizabeta.

"Stop!" she said, grabbing Gilbert and Yakko. "There could be bugs in it!"

"What the hell?" said Bison. "How could those kids not go for candy?" He became frustrated at Elizabeta.

"Stupid girl!" he shouted. "You just ruined my plan! I just can't kidnap anyone without being interrupted, can I?" Bison unknowingly stepped into his own trap and got caught.

"Heeeelp!" Bison yelled while dangling from a tree branch. "Somebody help!" Just then, Feliciano spotted the big man while walking back to the others.

"Hi, upside-down man," he said and continued walking.

"Hey!" Bison yelled. "Come back here, kid, and get me down!"

"Lovi, should I get this man down?" Feliciano asked his older brother.

Lovino walked over to where Feliciano was pointing, looked at Bison, and said, "Nah. I've got a better idea." The older Italian went over to the picnic basket, took out a tomato, went back to where Bison was, and threw it at Bison, on whom it broke on impact.

"Come on, Feli," he said to the younger Italian. "Lizzie and Vash are probably worried about us. Let's go." The two boys then walked back to the others.

After five minutes, one of Bison's subordiantes got the ruthless leader down from the tree. Bison landed on his head.

"Ow!" he said, and then hit the other man on the head for not putting a mattress underneath him before cutting him down.

"S-Sorry, sir," the subordinate said.

Next, Bison took out a cat puppet, thinking that the kids would think it was a real cat and try to pet it.

"Meow, meow," Bison said, doing a very bad job of mimicking a cat's meow.

Well, two kids did try going up to pet the "cat": Dot and Feliciano.

"Awwww, what a cute kitty!" said Dot, but was stopped by Yakko. "Hey, I wanna pet the kitty!" she protested as Yakko dragged her away.

"Oh, come on, Dot, that's not even a real cat," said Yakko.

"Kitty!" said Feliciano, reaching out toward the puppet. He was stopped by Lovino.

"Feli, no!" Lovino said. "It's a trick, come on." He then dragged his younger brother away from Bison's puppet.

Bison then heard growling from behind him. He turned his head around slowly and saw four dogs. The scary man then screamed and ran away from the dogs, which were now chasing after him.

After he finally lost the dogs, Bison stopped to catch his breath. Then he decided to just go up to the kids and take them by force instead of going to any more elaborate measures.

The ruthless man went up to Vash, Elizabeta, and the kids. Feliciano was the first to notice Bison. He had noticable dog bites on him, and was a little covered in dog slobber.

"Yaaaaahhhhhh!" said Feliciano.

"Eeeeeewwwwww!" Dot said. "He's covered in dog spit!"

"Who are you?" Vash said uneasily, grabbing his gun and pointing it at Bison.

"None of your business," said Bison, taking Vash's gun and hitting him over the head with it, which knocked the young Swiss out.

"Vash, wake up," said Ludwig, shaking Vash.

"Hey, guys!" Gilbert called. "Watch this!" The older Beilschmidt brother then pumped his legs back and forth very hard, which caused his swing to go very high.

"Woooooooo-hooooooooooo!" Gilbert said, a feeling of exhilaration coming over him as he flew very high ino the air and plummeted back down.

"Gilbo!" Elizabeta yelled, trying to catch him.

Gilbert's exhilaration was short-lived, however, when he landed in the arms of Bison, who grinned maliciously at him.

"Huh?" Gilbert said, looking up at the man who held him. He then began to get scared.

"Y-You can put me down now, Mister," he said.

"I don't think so, kid," said Bison. Just as he was about to say something else, Alfred pointed at him and said, "Hey, it's the butt-shaking man from the gas station!" Almost everyone laughed.

"Stop laughing at me!" Bison yelled, and stomped on the ground a couple times, causing the ground to shake, which caused the people on the ground to fall down to their knees.

Gilbert tried to fight his way out of Bison's grip, but it was no use, because Bison was holding him tightly. Ludwig shot at Bison with a BB gun.

"Take that, Mister!" he said. "Put my big brother down!"

Bison laughed a little and then picked up Ludwig.

"Hey, lemme go!" the boy said.

"Not a chance," Bison said.

"Put them down!" said Elizabeta, charging at Bison with her frying pan. She hit the man with it, but all that did was dent the pan with an imprint of Bsion's face.

"Uh...hehehe..." she laughed nervously.

Yao attacked Bison with his wok, but that was ruined with an imprint of the man's face as well.

"My wok. Look at my wok!" Yao said nervously and sadly.

"Be thankful it's not your neck, _nii-san_," Kiku said, scared but drawing his toy katana.

"Put Lui-san and Gilbo-san down!" he said and tried attacking Bison. Bison grabbed Kiku's katana and threw it to the ground, and punched Kiku in the stomach.

"Put Gilbo and Lui down, you bastard!" said Elizabeta.

Feliciano and Lovino, scared, waved two white flags, as if that would ward Bison off and make him put Gilbert and Ludwig down.

"L-L-Let them g-g-g-g-g-g-go," said Feliciano.

Bison picked up Lovino and Feliciano's flags, with the kids still holding onto them, one at a time, and dropped the flags and the kids in a couple of bushes. He then walked over to a white, unmarked van and threw Gilbert and Ludwig inside.

"Help!" the boys called before Bison closed the door.

"Hey, you can't do that to a kid!" said Yakko. "That's just mean!"

"You think _that's_ mean?" said Bison. "How about this?" He then punched Yakko.

"Ow!" said Yakko.

Bison then picked up the Warners by their tails and walked to the van, ignoring their protests. He opened the door and threw them inside, and closed it.

"Bye bye, kiddies," said Bison as he climbed into the driver's seat of the van and drove off.

"Oh God, no," Elizabeta said weakly before her eyes closed and she was unconscious.

* * *

**Author's Note:** _Nii-san_- "Older brother" in Japanese.

**Reviews make Hokuto happy ^_^**


	8. Wish Granted, Roddykins, Part II

**Author's Note:** Hey, everyone! Sorry I haven't updated this story in a while; I've been busy trying to get someone at school to talk to me about my tuition. Well, I finally did on Tuesday…but I had to wait for, like, 3 or 3 ½ hours.

WARNING: Reference to the episode of "Seinfeld" with Jerry, Kramer, George, and Elaine getting lost in the mall parking garage and taking forever to find their car.

Enjoy ^_^

* * *

**Chapter 7: Wish Granted, Roddykins, Part II**

"What?" Roderich said to the receptionist at the hotel front desk. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, sir, I'm sorry," said the woman. "There aren't any rooms available."

"Alright," said Roderich in a tired voice. "Thanks, anyway." He then left the hotel, got in the car, and sat in the driver seat for a few minutes, thinking.

Roderich then started to feel bad for yelling at his cousins.

_'I should go apologize,' _he thought. _'They're just kids, after all.' _Roderich then sighed, started the car, and drove in the direction of the park.

* * *

Bison drove as fast as he could, he and his subordinates well on their way to Shadowlaw's HQ, the Beilschmidt brothers and the Warner siblings in tow.

"WAAAAAHHHHHHHH! I want my mommy!" Ludwig cried, huge tears streaming down his cheeks as he clung tightly to Gilbert.

"Let us go, you big bully!" said Yakko, shaking his fist at Bison.

"Shut up back there," said one of Bison's subordinates who was riding in the front passenger seat. He shot a glare at poor Ludwig.

"West and I are the grandsons of the great Germania Beilschmidt!" Gilbert said angrily, glaring at the back of Bison's head. "You can't do this!"

Bison stopped the van, got out of the driver seat, and went to the back, towards Gilbert. He then picked up the glaring 10-year-old and forced him against the wall of the van as he threw Ludwig aside.

"You insolent little..." said Bison. "I don't care that you and your little brother are Germania Beilschmidt's grandkids. Now," he said, a menacing glare in his eyes, "wipe that glare off your face! It reminds me of your mother!" The ruthless leader slapped Gilbert hard across the face, and then threw him in a corner of the van.

"Gilbo, are you okay?" Ludwig asked his older brother as Bison got back in the driver seat, started the van once again, and continued on his way to Shadowlaw's HQ.

"Yeah, I'm fine, West," said Gilbert, shooting Bison another glare.

* * *

Roderich arrived at the park and got out of the car. He made his way over to the playground.

"Gilbo, Lui, I'm-" he managed to say before he saw Elizabeta, Vash, and the other kids scattered on the ground.

"Oh, no," Roderich said frantically. He rushed up to Elizabeta, who was still unconscious from Bison's attacks.

"Lizzie!" he said, shaking her gently. "Lizzie, wake up, please!"

When Elizabeta came to, she saw a worried Roderich staring at her.

"Roderich..." she said. "Gilbo and Lui..."

"Where are they?" Roderich asked.

"I'm so sorry!" said Elizabeta. "Some guy named Bison came and took them!" She started to cry as she told Roderich what happened.

_'Bison...why does that name sound familiar?' _Roderich thought.

Suddenly, he remembered; his aunt Elise had known a Bison years before she met his uncle Claus. "We've gotta save Gilbo and Lui!" Roderich said frantically.

"First..." Vash said. "...why don't you get us all to a hospital...?"

* * *

Bison parked the van in front of an abandoned building that Shadowlaw used as their HQ. The ruthless leader then got out of the van, motioned for his subordinates to get out, and opened the back door.

"Alright, brats," he said to the kids. "Let's go." Bison's subordinates then picked the kids up and carried them into the building.

Once inside, Bison and his buddies carried the kids down a hallway, stopped in front of a cell, and threw them in.

Gilbert ran up to Bison just before he could close the cell door.

"Let us go!" the older Beilschmidt brother said angrily, glaring at the big man again.

"No, brat, you're staying here," said Bison. "And I told you to wipe that glare off your face!" he added, and slapped Gilbert before pushing him back into the cell.

"You're ugly!" said Yakko.

"What?" said Bison.

"You heard him," said Wakko. "You're ugly!"

"_You_ are!" said Bison.

"No, _you_ are!" the three Warner siblings said at the same time.

"That's what you brats think!" said Bison.

"That's what we _know_!" said Dot, sticking her tongue out at Bison.

"You kids are really starting to get under my skin!" said Bison, slamming the cell door shut and locking it.

"WAAAAAHHHHHH!" Ludwig cried as he clung to his big brother again. "I want Mommyyyyyyyy!"

"Don't worry, West," said Gilbert. "The awesome me won't let those guys hurt you."

* * *

As Roderich made his way to the hospital, Elizabeta, Vash, and the other kids in tow, Vash managed to feebly lean over in his seat. He had something he wanted to say to Roderich.

"I told you you'd regret that wish, Roderich," Vash said. "_Now_ what are you gonna do? Your aunt's gonna freak if she finds out what happened."

"Shut up, Vash," Elizabeta mumbled under her breath.

"Vash," said Roderich, "do you _want_ me to throw you out? 'Cause I will if you don't stop mentioning what I said earlier."

"No," said Vash, and lay back down.

"Waaaahhhhh! Poor Lui and Gilbo!" Feliciano cried, and buried his face in Lovino's shirt.

"It's okay, Feli," said Lovino, "we'll find them." The older Italian would've said something mean about Gilbert and Ludwig, but his little brother was upset enough as it was, and Lovi hated seeing poor little Feli so sad.

Once Roderich and the others were in the hospital, Elizabeta, Vash, and the kids getting treated for any wounds they had, Roderich's phone rang. Roderich flipped it open, only to see his aunt's number on the caller ID.

_'Oh, man,' _Roderich thought miserably as he answered the call. "Hello?" he said.

_"Hi, Roddy, it's Aunt Elise," _said Gilbert and Ludwig's mother.

"Oh, hi, Auntie," said Roderich.

_"How's the convention?" _Elise asked her nephew.

"Oh, the convention..." Roderich said nervously, trying to think of something to tell his aunt. "The convention...well, we haven't been there yet. We're looking for a hotel right now."

_"Oh, okay," _said Elise. _"How are Gilbo and Lui? Can you put them on?" _she asked.

"Oh...Gilbo and Lui...?" said Roderich. "Well, they're asleep right now...Lui fell asleep a while ago, and Gilbo got a little carsick, and now he's got a tiny fever, so we're gonna go to the convention tomorrow."

_"Aw, poor Gilbo," _Elise said sympathetically._ "Well, when they're awake, and Gilbo's better, tell them to call me, okay?"_

"Sure, Auntie," said Roderich. He then saw Vash standing over him, his arms crossed.

"Well, I've gotta go now," said Roderich. "Love ya, bye." Roderich then hung up the phone and turned to look at Vash.

"So, you lied to your aunt?" Vash asked.

"Vash, what else could I do?" Roderich asked, standing up. "Just say to her, 'Oh, hi, Aunt Ellie, how are you? Guess what? Gilbo and Lui were kidnapped by some guy while they were at the park with their friends. Have a nice day.'?" Vash shut up after that.

* * *

Bison took out a phone and dialed a number. After three rings, someone picked up: Gilbert and Ludwig's mother.

_"Hello? Elise Beilschmidt speaking," _Elise said.

"Hello, Elise," Bison said in an evil tone.

_"Who is this?" _Elise asked uneasily, not recognizing the scary voice.

"It's me," Bison said. "Bison. Remember?"

_"What do you want, Bison?" _Elise asked, growing suspiscious. _"And how did you get this number?"_

"What do I want?" Bison said, grinning. "Why, I want you to come back and join Shadowlaw again, that's what I want."

_"Like hell, you creep!" _said Elise, now getting angry.

"Actually, you _will_ come back," said Bison. "I'll make sure of that, my dear."

_"Why the hell would I go back and work for you?" _asked Elise.

"Because I have your children," Bison said as he opened the door to the kids' cell.

_"No you don't," _Elise said. _"Stop trying to scare me, Bison."_

"Oh, but I _do_," said Bison. "They're right here. Here, I'll let you talk to them." Bison then grabbed both Gilbert and Ludwig and held the phone to them. "It's Mommy, you brats."

"Mommy?" Ludwig said.

"Mom, get us out of here," said Gilbert, glaring at Bison.

_"Gilbo? Lui?" _Elise exclaimed.

"Hey, brat!" Bison said to Gilbert, who was still glaring at him. "Didn't I tell you to _wipe that stupid glare off your face_?" The big man then slapped Gilbert, causing the 10-year-old to start crying.

"Mom, he hurt me!" Gilbert cried into the phone as tears spilled out of his eyes.

_"Gilbo, don't worry, I'll get you guys out of there!" _said Elise.

"You big bully!" Ludwig yelled at Bison, kicking the man in the shin.

"Why you little..." Bison said angrily as he picked Ludwig up and slapped him as well. He then threw the 6-year-old back to the floor.

"Mommyyyyyyyy!" Ludwig said, crying.

_"Please don't hurt them, Bison!" _Elise pleaded. _"Please! Let them go."_

"I will, but only if you agree to come back and work for Shadowlaw again," Bison said casually. "If not, your children die."

_"No, please don't-" _Elise said before being cut off.

"Goodbye, Ellie," said Bison. He then hung up, left the kids' cell, and closed and locked the door.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Just in case nobody got the "Seinfeld" reference, it was when Yakko, Wakko, and Dot were calling Bison ugly, and Bison was calling _them _ugly as a comeback.

Read and review ^_^


	9. Wish Granted, Roddykins, Part III

**Author's Note:** Warning: _Blazing Saddles _reference in this chapter. Just so you know.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 9: Wish Granted, Roddykins, Part III**

As soon as Elizabeta, Vash, and the other kids were released from the hospital, everyone got in the car and were on their way to save Gilbert and Ludwig, and the Warner siblings.

As soon as they turned onto a street, Roderich's phone rang again.

"Hello?" Roderich said.

_"Oh, Roddy, thank God!" _cried a distressed Elise.

"Auntie?" Roderich said. "What's going on?"

_"Gilbo and Lui were taken by Bison!" _Elise said.

_'Oh, shit,' _Roderich thought to himself, _'I'm in the dog house now.' _"Wait..." he finally said, faking surprise. "That Bison guy took Gilbo and Lui?" _'Wow, I'm really good at this,' _he thought.

_"That bastard Bison," _Elise said angrily. _"I can only imagine what he's doing to them now."_

"Well, don't worry, Auntie," said Roderich. "We'll get Gilbo and Lui back, I promise..." He then hung up and put his phone away.

"Wow, Roderich, you're so good at lying; maybe you should be an actor," Vash said sarcastically.

"I'm not in the freaking mood right now, Vash," Roderich said irritably.

* * *

The Beilschmidts and the Warners were now sitting in their cell, sulking, when two of Bison's subordinates came over to them.

"Aw, come on, kids," one of the guys said in a not-so-nice tone. "We could use some entertainment around here."

"Yeah," the other guy said in the same tone as the first man. "Now, why don't you kiddies work up a little song for us, hm?"

"Fine," Gilbert said, sticking his tongue out at the men. Then he and the other kids started to sing.

_**Gilbert: "I get no kick from champagne"**_

_**The others: "Mmmmmmmmm"**_

_**Gilbert: "Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all**_

_**So tell me why should this be true**_

_**That I get a belch out of you"**_

_**The others: "Ba-bababa-baba-ba-bababa"**_

_**Gilbert: "Some get a kick from cocaiiiiiine-"**_

"Hold it, hold it!" one of the men said, waving his arms to get the kids to stop singing. "What in the world is _that _shit?"

"We meant a song," said the other man. "A _real_ song. Something like..._**Swing low, sweet chaaaariot."**_

"Swing low?" Ludwig asked, looking up at Gilbert.

"Chariot?" asked Wakko and Dot.

"Don't know that one, huh?" one of the men said. "Well then, how about...'De Camptown Ladies'?"

"'De Camptown Ladies…'" said Yakko.

"'De Camptown Ladies,'" said the other kids.

"Oh, you know," said the other man, and then he and his buddy started singing.

_**"Oh, de camptown ladies sing this song, doo-da, doo-da**_

_**De camptown racetrack five miles long**_

_**Oh, de-doo-da-day**_

_**Going to run all night**_

_**Going to run all day**_

_**I bet my money on the bobtail nag**_

_**Somebody bet on the bay**_

_**Going to run all night-"**_

The pair was interrupted by their leader.

"What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is going on here?" said Bison. "I thought I told you two to guard these brats, not dance around like a bunch of Disney faggots!" Bison and his subordinates turned around when they heard the kids laughing at them.

"Shut the hell up, you little brats," Bison said angrily. "You think this is a game? Well, it's not!"

"You're still ugly," said Yakko.

"No, _you're_ ugly," said Bison.

"YOU'RE UGLY!" Wakko and Dot shouted and jumped up and down.

"I have no time for you and your shenanigans," Bison said to the kids. He then got closer to the Beilschmidt brothers and said, "Well, kids, soon I'll have your mother working for me once again."

"Mom's not gonna serve you, you big ugly bully!" said Gilbert.

"Yeah!" Ludwig said. "Mommy's not stupid like _you_."

"Well, I think you're mommy will see things my way," Bison said, and then left.

* * *

Roderich and the others came to a stop in front of the building where the kids were being held. The other kids stayed in the car while Vash, Roderich and Elizabeta went inside.

Once the three entered the building, they heard footsteps and Bison's voice coming their way, so they ducked behind a wall. When the trio could no longer hear Bison, Vash peeked out from behind the wall.

"Come on," said Vash. Roderich and Elizabeta followed behind him.

About 20 minutes later, Roderich, Vash and Elizabeta could hear someone crying very loudly, and quickly went in the direction of the sound. The three found Gilbert, Ludwig, and the Warners in their cell; they also found out that Ludwig was the one who was wailing. They also saw that the Warners were making faces and annoying noises, and jumping up and down.

"Gilbo, Lui, thank God," Roderich said with relief.

"R-R-Roddy," Ludwig said as he tried to stop crying. "I don't wanna be here. I wanna get out of here."

"Yeah, get us out of here," said Gilbert. "Hurry, before that big guy comes back!"

Roderich tried opening the cell door. "I can't open it," he said.

"Well, duh," said Gilbert in a sarcastic tone. "It's locked, and you need something called a _key_."

"Let me try," Elizabeta said. She took a clip out of her hair and started to pick at the lock.

"See?" said Gilbert. "Lizzie knows that you need to _unlock_ a freaking cell door."

Roderich opened his mouth to talk back to his cousin, but decided not to.

"It won't unlock," said Elizabeta, confused. "It worked when Roddykins was locked in my bathroom all night last spring."

"You're doing it all wrong, Lizzie," Vash said, and broke the door down with his gun.

"Come on, guys," said Roderich, pulling Gilbert and Ludwig out of the cell and hugging them. He then turned to see the Warners still jumping up and down and making faces and annoying noises. "And you three," he added in an annoyed tone as he pulled the three siblings out of the cell by their tails.

"Hey, what gives?" Yakko said, rubbing his tail.

"Yeah, we were having fun!" said Wakko.

_"What was that?" _the group heard a voice say. They also heard footsteps running in their direction.

"Holy shit," said Elizabeta. "Guys..."

"Gilbo, Lui, I'm sorry for yelling at you," said Roderich.

"Hate to break up this moment," said Vash, "but we really need to go. Now!"

Roderich then heard the footsteps getting closer. "Oh, shit," he said. "Right behind you, Vash." He put Ludwig on his back, grabbed Gilbert's hand, and he, Elizabeta, and the kids followed Vash.

Roderich and the others kept on running until they bumped into Bison.

"What are you brats doing out of your cell?" Bison said angrily, his eyes narrowing.

"Hey, it's Mr. Ugly Guy," said Dot.

"I'm not ugly! You're ugly!" said Bison.

"YOU'RE UGLY!" all three of the Warners shouted, and jumped up and down again.

"It's the scary guy," Ludwig said, about to cry while Gilbert cowered behind Roderich.

"Hand over the Beershit brats," said Bison. "You can have the Warners, they're too annoying."

"No way in Hell!" Roderich said angrily, shielding his cousins from Bison. "And it's not _Beershit_, it's _Beilschmidt_."

"I wasn't asking," said Bison. "I was telling." He then saw Gilbert poking his head from behind Roderich and grabbed his arm.

"Let go!" Gilbert yelled while still holding onto his cousin. "You're hurting me!"

"Get your dirty hands off him!" said Roderich. He then kicked Bison in the shin, which forced the big man to let Gilbert go.

"Roderich, I'm scared," Gilbert said.

"You little...!" Bison said in an angry tone. He advanced towards the group, intending to beat them up and take Gilbert and Ludwig back to their cell (he also intended on throwing the Warners out of the building), but was stopped by Elizabeta kicking him in the face.

"You bitch," Bison said angrily and tried (unsuccessfully) to punch the girl in the gut.

"Leave Lizzie alone!" Roderich yelled and, with Ludwig still on his back, charged at Bison and punched him in the gut. Vash did the same, except he used the butt of his gun instead of his fists. The leader of Shadowlaw, to his own surprise and that of his subordinates', was easily brought down by the three teens.

"Who's next?" a very, very, very angry Vash said, brandishing his weapon at the other Shadowlaw guys. The men, now scared of Roderich, Vash and Elizabeta, ran away, dragging their leader with them.

"Come on, let's get out of this place," said Elizabeta. She, Vash, Roderich and the kids all got out of the building, got in the car, and drove back to Acme Falls.

* * *

"LuiLuiLuiLuiLuiLuiiiiiiiiiii!" Feliciano said happily while clinging to Ludwig, who, surprisingly, wasn't trying to get him off.

Roderich flipped his phone open and called his aunt.

_"Hello?" _Elise said.

"Hey, Auntie," said Roderich. "Don't worry, Gilbo and Lui are safe. Vash, Lizzie and I kicked Bison's ass."

_"Thank God," _Elise said with relief.

"We're heading back to Acme Falls now," Roderich said. "Then we're gonna go to the convention. I'll have Gilbo and Lui call you later; they're still a little shaken up right now."

_"Okay," _said Elise. _"Talk to you later."_

"Bye," Roderich said, and hung up.

Everyone, even Alfred (which was a surprise) was quiet the entire drive back to Acme Falls.

* * *

Roderich pulled to a stop in front of the palace in Acme Falls. Everyone got out of the car and went inside.

"Are you sure your mom and dad are gonna be okay with us staying here?" Matthew asked as he tried to keep Kumajiro from climbing on top of his head.

"Of course," said Wakko.

The group kept walking until they reached a room. The door opened, and seated in two thrones were the Warner's parents: King William and Queen Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bo Besca the Second.

"Hey, Mom, Dad!" said Dot. "Guess what? Yakko, Wakko and I annoyed Bison!"

"You annoyed Bison?" said Angelina.

"Yup," said Wakko.

"We're proud of you," said William.

"Hey, can these guys stay with us?" Yakko asked his parents. "They kicked Bison's butt while we annoyed him."

"Well..." said William, thinking.

"Sure," said Angelina.

"Oh, no, we couldn't impose," Roderich said.

"Roddy," Gilbert said quietly, nudging Roderich in the ribs.

"Nonsense," said William. "We have plenty of rooms. You can stay."

"Thank you," said Elizabeta.

The group was then led to a bunch of rooms. Arthur, Alfred and Matthew all shared a room; Lovino and Feliciano did the same, as did Katyusha, Ivan and Natalia; so did Feliks and Toris (Feliks didn't want to leave Toris alone); Vash, Antonio and Francis each got their own rooms; Roderich and Elizabeta got to share a room; Yao and Kiku shared a room and Gilbert and Ludwig shared one as well.

The kids were noisy and bugging Roderich once again as everyone made their way to the anime convention, where they had fun. Roderich ended up having to chase after his cousins just to keep an eye on them, as they kept on running off when his back was turned.

_'I still don't know why we had to go on this stupid quest, God,' _Roderich thought as he kept hunting down Gilbert and Ludwig.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Just in case nobody got the _Blazing Saddles _reference, it was when Gilbo and the others were singing the song to the guards, when the guards started singing 'Camptown Ladies', and when Bison yelled at the guards for singing and making fools of themselves.


	10. Disney Taunting

**Author's Note:** Warning: This chapter has a reference to the French taunting scene from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" throughout. Oh, and some of the "Beauty and the Beast" characters make an appearance, too!

Also, sorry I haven't updated in a while; school's been keeping me busy. But, since it's Labor Day weekend, I can finally upload this thing. YAY!

*ahem* Now, on to the chapter. Enjoy ^_^

* * *

**Chapter 9: Disney Taunting**

A few days later, Roderich and the others left Warnerstock to continue on their search for the Grail...but not without Yakko, Wakko, and Dot! The royal siblings had already gotten their parents' permission to go on the quest with the group, so poor Roderich was stuck bringing them along.

* * *

"Why?" Roderich said in an annoyed tone. "First, I get stuck on this stupid quest with my annoying baby cousins, and now I have to be stuck with you three."

"Geez, you're pretty rude today, Roddykins," said Wakko.

"Don't call me that, Beatle talker!" said Roderich.

"Hey, I can't help it if I sound like one of the Beatles," Wakko said, and pouted.

"What's wrong with the way our brother talks?" asked Yakko.

"Yeah," said Dot.

"He sounds weird," said Roderich.

"Wakko's right, Roddykins," said Arthur. "You're being bloody rude right now."

"Yeah, Roddykins," Vash, Gilbert, and Ludwig said at the same time, mocking Roderich.

"Alright, that's it!" Roderich said, and stopped the car. "If anyone else-except for Elizabeta-calls me Roddykins, I swear to God I will throw that person out of this car, and we will continue this quest without you. Got it?"

"Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes," said Alfred, Matthew (while hugging Kumajiro), Yao, Kiku, Katyusha (who looked like she was about to cry), Ivan, Natalia (clinging tightly to Ivan), Feliks, Toris, Lovino, and Feliciano (who looked like _he_ was about to cry, too).

"Don't even think about it, Roderich Edelstein!" said God, who suddenly appeared in the sky.

"Shut up, God, you bastard," said Roderich.

"Don't you call me that, you jackass aristocrat!" God bellowed at Roderich.

"I'm not a fucking aristocrat, you ugly cloud man!" Roderich snapped back.

"_Very_ mature, Roderich," Vash said sarcastically while rolling his eyes.

"Shut the hell up, Vash," said Roderich.

"Roddy, quit being rude to God," Gilbert said.

"Gee, God's sure angry today, isn't he, guys?" Yakko said to his brother and sister.

"Yeah," said Wakko.

"You know, I'm not having this conversation anymore," said God. He turned to go back into the clouds, and then stopped. He then turned around and stuck his middle finger at Roderich. Then God disappeared once again into the clouds.

"That sky bastard!" Roderich said angrily. "I'll strangle him!"

"How are you gonna do that?" asked Alfred.

"Yeah," said Feliks. "God's, like, up there in the sky, and you're totally down here on Earth."

"Shut up," said Roderich as he kept on driving.

* * *

Hours later, the group came upon a castle.

"Roddykins, why don't we stop here for the night?" said Elizabeta.

"I think we can keep on going," said Roderich. He didn't want to stop anyplace for a while because of what had happened with his cousins and Bison.

"But Roddy," Ludwig said in a scared voice while holding his teddy bear close, "it's getting dark. The dark's scary." The younger boy's eyes got bigger (and cuter) as he said this.

"Okay, Lui, we'll stop here," Roderich said, sensing his youngest cousin's discomfort. The teen stopped the car, and he and the others got out. "Hello!" Roderich called out to anyone in the castle. No answer. "Hello!" he called again.

After Roderich's second attempt at getting someone to talk to him, a round, chubby man dressed in old-fashioned clothing and sporting a mustache came out onto the balcony; his name was Cogsworth. "'Allo! Who is zis?" Cogsworth said.

"I'm Roderich Edelstein of Hetalia Falls, in Suujiku, and these are my cousins, Gilbert and Ludwig Beilschmidt, and our friends," said Roderich. "Whose castle is this?"

"This is the castle of our master, Prince Etienne, and our mistress, Princess Belle," said Cogsworth.

"If you please, go and tell your master and mistress that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest," said Roderich. This caused the old-fashioned-looking man to look at the 18-year-old in surprise. Roderich continued, "If they will give us food and shelter for the night, they can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail."

Cogsworth thought for a minute before speaking. "Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen..." the man said."Uh, he's already got one, you see?"

"What?" asked Roderich.

"He says they've already got one!" said Francis.

"Are you sure he's got one?" Roderich asked Cogsworth.

"Oh, yes, it's very nice," said Cogsworth. He then turned to some other servants and said, "I told them we've already got one." The servants, except for a slender, ponytail-wearing man named Lumiere (who just rolled his eyes), laughed.

"Oh, Cogsworth, have a heart," Lumiere said.

"I think he's lying," Wakko said.

"No, I think he's telling the truth," said Antonio.

"I think the both of you are bloody idiots," said Arthur.

"Hey, Roddykins, why don't you ask him to let us see it?" Elizabeta whispered to her boyfriend.

"Okay," said Roderich. He then said to Cogsworth, "Well, um, can we come up and have a look?"

"Of course not!" said Cogsworth. "You are Suujiku and Warnerstock types-a!" He had obviously recognized the Warner siblings as people from Warnerstock.

"Well, what are _you_ then?" said Vash.

"I'm Disney!" said Cogsworth. "Why do you think I'm wearing these _outrageous_ clothes, you silly _garçon_?"

"What are you doing just outside of Warnerstock?" said Dot.

"Mind your own business!" said Cogsworth.

"If you will not show us the Grail, then we shall take your castle by force!" said Arthur.

"You don't frighten us, Suujiku pig-dogs!" said Cogsworth. "Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Roderich-aristocrat, you and all your silly Suujiku kaniggets." He then drummed his head several times and spit at the travelers.

"What a strange person," said Kiku.

"Now, look here, my good man, aru!" Yao shouted.

"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough whopper!" said Cogsworth. "I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of eldeberries."

"That's not very nice, aru," said Yao.

"Don't you talk about my parents like that!" Roderich said angrily.

"Is there someone else up there we could talk to?" asked Katyusha.

"No," said Cogsworth. "Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!"

"Cogsworth, come on, be mature, mon ami," said Lumiere.

"_Fermez la bouche_, candleman," Cogsworth said to the man with the ponytail.

"Now this is your last chance," said Roderich. "I've been more than reasonable."

_"Fetchez la vache," _Cogsworth said to the other servants.

"What?" said a little blond-haired boy named Chip.

"Fetchez la vache," Cogsworth said again.

"Oh, okay," Chip said happily, and ran off. He and two other servants then came back out with a cow.

"Oh mon Dieu," said an annoyed Lumiere.

"If you do not agree to our commands, then we shall-" Vash started to say, but was interrupted when...

_Twong! _The cow mooed as it was hurled off the balcony of the castle.

"Jesus Christ!" said Vash. He then got out his gun.

Seeing this, Gilbert got out a wooden sword that he would play with a lot. "Right!" the 10-year-old said. "Charge!"

Everyone (except for Feliciano, Lovino, Matthew, and Katyusha) charged at the castle and attempted to fight the servants inside. But the fighting proved pointless when Cogsworth and the other servants threw other animals and stuff at them.

"Ah, this one is for your mother," one of the other servants said as he hurled something else over the balcony.

"Run away!" said Roderich.

Chip spat at the retreating group.

"Fiends!" Vash yelled.

"I'll tear them apart!" said Elizabeta, getting out another frying pan.

"No, no, no, don't, Lizzie," Roderich said, and stopped his girlfriend from attacking.

"Roddy," said Feliks. "I totally have a plan, dude."

* * *

Later, the sounds of various squeaks, rumbles, and chopping could be heard from the castle. The servants looked in various directions to see where the noises were coming from. These were the sounds of Roderich and the others hard at work on something.

After the noises subsided, the servants went about their business in the castle. Just as they went inside, Roderich and the others were seen pushing a gigantic, wooden rabbit up the hill. They placed it at the door, knocked on it, and ran to hide. Once they were hidden, they saw the servants come out and look curiously at the rabbit.

"Ce labon a bunny do," said one of the servants.

"Wha?" said Lumiere.

"_Un cadeau_?" said a young woman with short, blond hair. Her name was Angelique.

"A present!" Chip said excitedly. "Look, Mama, a present!" he said to another woman who was a little older than Angelique.

"Oh, un cadeau," said the older woman. Her name was Mrs. Potts, and she was Chip's mother.

"Oui, oui, hurry!" said Cogsworth as he and Lumiere got ready to bring the rabbit inside.

"Wha-?" said another servant.

"Let's go!" said Lumiere. He and the other servants brought the rabbit inside the castle and closed the door.

Outside, in the bushes, the group of grail seekers was waiting.

"What happens now, Feliks?" Roderich asked the Polish boy.

"Like, well, now, uh..." Feliks said, trying his best to explain the plan to Roderich. "Liet, Al, and I, like, wait till it gets dark and then leap out of the rabbit, totally taking the Disney people by surprise-like, not only surprise, but totally unarmed, too! Cool, huh, dude?"

"Who leaps out?" Roderich asked.

"Uh, Feliks..." Toris said, looking at his best friend.

"Uh, Liet, Al, and I," Feliks began again, slowly realizing that he had made a serious mistake. "Like, uh...leap out of the rabbit, uh...and uh..."

"Oh..." Roderich said, also gradually realizing Feliks' mistake.

"Oh..." said Feliks. "Um, l-look, if we, like, built this large wooden badger-" But Feliks didn't get a chance to finish what he was saying when..._twong!_…the wooden rabbit was launched from the castle and in their direction.

"Yaaaahhhhhh!" shouted Feliciano.

"Run away!" the rest of the group said. "Run away! Retreat!"

"A hero _never_ retreats!" said Alfred.

"Come on, Al!" said Arthur as he grabbed his little brother and pulled him along.

The rabbit then landed _splat! _on the ground, but, luckily, didn't land on anyone in the group.

"Oh, haw, haw, haw!" Cogsworth laughed as he watched the Grail-seeking group retreating.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I gave the prince the name Etienne because 1) I don't know his real name, and 2) It sounded like a good name, and it was the first name that came into my head at the time.

Also:

_garçon- _boy (French)

_Fermez la bouche- _Shut up (French)

_Fetchez la vache- _Fetch the cow (French)

Ce labon a bunny do- I'm not sure what this means; it's probably just gibberish.

_Un cadeau- _A present (French)

**Read and review ^_^**


	11. First Clue

**Author's Note:** Reference to Monty Python and the Holy Grail much later in this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 10: First Clue**

After they got away from the Disney people's attacks, Roderich and the others continued on the road. It was dark now, and the travelers were getting tired; some of them were even afraid that they might be lost!

"Hey, Roderich, do you even know where we're going?" Vash asked.

"Of course," Roderich said confidently.

"Do you even know what you're doing?" asked Yakko.

"Of course I do," said Roderich.

"Are you sure, Roddykins?" asked Elizabeta.

"Yes, I'm sure, Lizzie," said Roderich. "What are you guys so worried about?"

* * *

Minutes later, Gilbert spoke up. "Roddy, I think we're lost," the older Beilschmidt brother said.

"We can't get lost," Roderich said. "I have a MapQuest installed in the car."

"Wait a minute," said Toris. "Gilbo and Lui said that you were too proud to get a MapQuest."

"Lizzie totally talked him into it, Liet," Feliks said and laughed.

"Shut up, Feliks," said Roderich. He then turned on the MapQuest to see where they were.

"You are lost," the MapQuest said.

"Nice going, Roderich, you bastard," Lovino said irritably as Feliciano used Ludwig as a pillow.

"Kolkolkolkolkolkol," Ivan said angrily, which scared the rest of the group.

"Roddy, Ivan's scary," Ludwig said, about to cry.

"Everyone, be quiet," said Roderich, trying his very best to stay calm.

"Hey, I see a rest stop," said Katyusha. "It's just up ahead."

"Good thinking, Kat," said Elizabeta. "Hey, Roddykins, maybe we should stop here for a bit and try to figure something out."

"Okay," said Roderich. He then pulled the car into a space in front of a small diner. He and the rest of the group then got out, went inside, and sat down.

* * *

"Hi, what can I get you?" a waitress behind the counter asked them.

"I'll have a pastrami on rye," said Roderich.

"And I'll have a chicken sandwich," said Elizabeta.

"I want a cheeseburger and fries and a soda and an ice cream and-" Alfred said, but was interrupted by his big brother.

"Al! Bloody hell, don't order so much," said Arthur.

"Okay," Alfred said. "Just a cheeseburger and fries and a soda."

"I'd like some pancakes, please," Matthew said shyly.

"I want some pancakes, too!" said Gilbert. "And chocolate milk."

"Can I have some wurst and potatoes?" Ludwig asked.

After everyone else was done saying their orders, it was Arthur's turn, since he hadn't decided before.

"I'll just have a glass of water," Arthur told the waitress.

"Okay," the waitress said.

"You can't just have a glass of water," said Roderich.

"Why not?" asked Arthur. "That's all I want."

"This isn't a park bench where you come and sit down. This is a business," said Vash. "So order something else."

"Fine," said Arthur. "Uh, ma'am?" he said to the waitress.

"Yes?" the waitress asked.

"I'll have a roast chicken and fruit punch," said Arthur.

"That's better," said Roderich.

As they were eating, Elizabeta spoke to Roderich.

"You know, Roddykins," she said, "while we're here, maybe we should look for someone and ask for information."

"Yeah, and we should look for a place to stay, too," said Kiku.

"Okay," said Roderich.

The group's meal was once again interrupted when a teenage girl with long, brown hair in a braid, and was wearing a long, blue winter coat, came up to them and spoke to Roderich, Gilbert, and Ludwig.

"Hey," said the girl. "You three are Germania Beilschmidt's grandkids, aren't you?"

"Yeah," said Gilbert as Ludwig hid behind him.

Katara then looked at the Vargas, Honda, and Jones brothers, and at Francis and Antonio.

"And you four are Rome Vargas' grandkids, aren't you?" she asked.

"Yup," said Antonio.

"And you're Daisuke Honda's kids!"

"Hai," said Kiku.

"Oh, and you three are Indiana Jones' kids, right?"

"Yeah," Alfred said excitedly.

"Well, three of them," said Arthur. "We have an older brother named Mutt."

"I'm Katara, and that's my brother, Sokka, and our friend, Aang," the girl said, introducing herself and pointing to a teenage boy with brown hair in a short ponytail and a 12-year-old, bald-headed boy with arrow tattoos on his head and arms. The older boy was wearing a short, blue winter coat and pants, and the younger boy was wearing monks' clothes.

"Did he _ever_ have hair?" Alfred asked, pointing at the boy named Aang.

"Al, that's not nice," Arthur scolded his little brother.

"Sorry, Iggy," Alfred said and went back to his burger, fries, and soda.

"Wow, I can't believe I'm actually talking to Germania Beilschmidt's grandkids!" Katara said, jumping up and down with excitement. She then pulled out a small notebook from her coat. "Can I have your autographs?"

"Uh, sure?" Roderich said and signed his name.

"You only signed your name?" Gilbert said, laughing at his cousin. He then wrote something and signed his name and gave the notebook to Ludwig, who just wrote "Hi" and then wrote his name in big letters.

Katara read what Gilbert wrote. "Nothing's finer than being in your diner." She then laughed and said, "That's so funny."

"Katara, what are you doing?" said the boy named Sokka, walking over to the counter where his sister was talking to the cousins.

"I'm just talking to the grandkids of the great Germania Beilschmidt," said Katara. "What, are you afraid they're with the Fire Nation?"

"Yeah, Sokka," said Aang, coming over as well. "Uh...who's Germania Beilschmidt?" he asked.

"Germania Beilschmidt is only one of the greatest warriors _ever_," Sokka said.

"Oh," said Aang.

"So, let me ask you three something," said Sokka.

"Okay, shoot," said Roderich.

"Are you three brothers?" Sokka asked.

"Hell no," said Roderich.

"Why would El Stiffo here be _our_ brother?" said Gilbert.

"Hey!" Roderich yelled.

"They're not brothers," Katara explained to her brother. "These three are cousins. Do they even look like brothers to you?"

"Well..." Sokka said, but he didn't say anymore.

"It's because their names are German names, isn't it?" asked Aang.

"Actually, it's because they're acting a lot like siblings," said Sokka.

"That's 'cause my aunt and uncle raised me since Gilbert here was a baby," Roderich mumbled. "So these two are _kind of _like younger brothers to me."

"Oh," said Katara.

"I have a question for _you_," said Ivan.

"What is it?" asked Katara.

"Why is that kid bald?" Ivan asked, pointing to Aang.

"Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!" Sokka laughed so hard that tears were leaking out of his eyes. "Th-that's a good question, kid. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Hey," Katara said, and pulled Sokka by the ear.

"Owowowowowowowowow! Kataraaaaaaaa!" Sokka said.

"I'm bald because I'm an Airbender and I was raised as a monk," said Aang.

"You will become one with Russia, da, comrade?" Ivan asked Aang, getting in the young Airbender's face.

"Uh...no thanks," said Aang and backed away from the scary Russian.

"Vanya, quit bothering him," Katyusha said in a stern voice.

"Sorry, Sis," Ivan said and went back to eating his food.

"Uh, can we ask you something?" said Roderich.

"Sure," said Katara.

"Is there anyone in this town who knows anything about the location of the Holy Grail?" Roderich asked the trio.

"The Holy Grail?" said Sokka.

"Oh, that's right!" said Aang. "It was stolen from Suujiku, and some guys from that country are trying to get it back."

"Well, is there anyone here who knows anything about where it is?" asked Vash.

"Hm..." Sokka said, thinking. "I dunno," he said after two seconds.

Katara gave Sokka a swat on the head. "Yes you do, Sokka," she said. "Now answer the damn question."

"Why should we trust them?" Sokka said. "They might be working for the Fire Nation."

"Sokka, they're obviously from Suujiku, so the Grail's theirs," said Katara. "So let's just tell them."

"You've got a point," said Sokka.

"But what do those three have to gain from finding the Holy Grail?" Aang asked, indicating the Warners. "They're from Warnerstock, so what use would it be to them?"

"They followed me," said Roderich.

"We're helping them," said Yakko.

"Okay," said Sokka. "There's a fortune teller named Baba who lives in this town."

"She'll tell you everything you want to know," said Katara.

"Okay," said Roderich. "Thanks." He and the others paid their bill and got up to leave, when Gilbert stopped and went back to Sokka, Katara, and Aang.

"Um, can I ask you something else?" Gilbert said.

"Sure," said Katara.

"Did you see a man who looks like a grown-up version of my little brother?" Gilbert asked and pointed to Ludwig. "His name's Claus Beilschmidt. He's my dad. Here, I have a picture."

Gilbert took out a photo of his father and showed it to the trio.

After looking at it closely for a few minutes, Sokka said, "I've never seen him before."

"Me neither," said Aang.

"I haven't," said Katara. "Sorry, Gilbert."

"Okay," said Gilbert, and put the picture back in his jacket pocket. "Thanks anyway." He then walked back to the rest of the group, and they left and went to the hotel nearby.

* * *

The next day, the group went to see Baba the fortune teller. Baba was an elderly woman with purple hair, who wore witch clothes (including a witch's hat) and sat on a crystal ball. Roderich and the others were in her house, asking her about anyone who might know the whereabouts of the Grail.

"Ah, hee he he ha!" Baba laughed.

"So, this guardian guy," said Roderich. "Where can I find him?"

"Roddy, she's scary," Ludwig said, clinging to his cousin.

"Well, where does he live, Baba?" Roderich asked.

"Mobius," said Baba.

"Okay, so we go to Mobius," said Roderich.

"That riiiight!" said Baba. "But I should warn you: The Knights of Nee live in the woods that you'll have to go through in order to get there."

"Okay, so after we go through this Nee forest, we'll reach Mobius?" asked Elizabeta.

"Yes," said Baba. "Now get out, you're taking up too much space in my house."

"Okay, thanks," said Roderich.

* * *

After they left Baba's house, they decided to spend another night in the town.

"Mobius, huh?" Roderich said to himself.

"Hey, that's our first clue!" Gilbert said excitedly.


	12. Stranded in the Forest

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry I'm so late in updating, guys; school's been keeping me busy with homework and stuff. Then there are club meetings every Friday, ha-ha.

*ahem* Anyway, here's the chapter. Enjoy ^_^

* * *

**Chapter 11: Stranded in the Forest**

A day later, after consulting Baba, Roderich and the gang were on their way to their destination, Mobius. As they were driving, nightfall was approaching, and Roddykins had noticed that most of the group had already fallen asleep in the car; the only ones who were still awake were Gilbert, Vash, Francis, Antonio, Ivan, and Wakko. They were now approaching the woods where the Knights Who Say "Nee" lived.

It was dusk by the time Roderich finally spoke up.

"Hey, guys, it's getting pretty dark," the young man said to the still-awake passengers. "According to the MapQuest, there's a hotel up ahead. We should probably call it a night. I'd hate to get stuck in the woods at this time of night."

It was then that the guys got an idea: scare the aristocrat with the fake glasses.

"Right," said Francis. "We wouldn't want to run into any..._monsters_, would we?" He looked at the others and grinned mischievously.

Roderich shivered. "M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-monsters?" he said. "Y-Y-You're k-k-k-k-kidding, r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-right?"

"Oh, no, Roderich," said Francis. "There are plenty of monsters out here, such as the Wolfman."

"There's also the Chupacabra," said Antonio.

Roderich shivered again. "Don't those things eat goats?" he asked the Spaniard.

"Oh, they like to feed on people, too," said Antonio, further scaring the poor Austrian behind the wheel.

"You certainly don't want to run into those vampires," said Vash, who was thoroughly enjoying this. "And I don't mean like the ones from Twilight. I mean Blade, Angel, even Van Helsing vampires!"

What Vash said made Roderich shake even more and sweat bullets.

"You also don't want to run into any swamp monsters!" said Ivan, grinning maniacally.

"Please, stop," Roderich pleaded with the group scaring him.

"That's not half as scary as the _GIANT SPIDERS_," said Wakko.

"Please, please, guys stop it," said Roderich.

"How about the creepy, ugly, psychotic monster?" said Gilbert. "With razor sharp claws, bloody, dripping fangs, and a taste for living beings! It comes at ya, eyes burning! You think all is well, then suddenly-!"

Before Gilbert could finish, Vash noticed something amiss about Roderich, who was shaking uncontrollably with fear, his palms and forehead sweaty, staring straight ahead.

"Uh...maybe we better stop," the Swiss teen said. "He doesn't look too good."

"Treeeeeeee!" Wakko shouted.

Everyone screamed, and then Roderich plowed the car right into the tree, and everyone else who was asleep woke up, startled.

"Ow," said Feliks. "Like, what happened?"

Feliciano was crying, and Lovino was glaring at everyone else in the car while trying his best to comfort his baby brother.

Dot was rubbing her head, which she hit on the back of the driver seat.

"Get off me, Natalia!" said Yakko.

"Gladly," Natalia said, and immediately clung to Ivan. "Brother, my love," she said to a now scared Ivan.

"Nooooooooooooo!" Ivan yelled and tried pushing Natalia off him.

"What happened?" asked Toris, who had just gotten up from under Alfred.

"We all decided to mess with Roddykins, and we scared him," said Francis.

"It looks like we may have overdone it," said Antonio.

"What's wrong with you guys?" shouted an angry Elizabeta. "We fall asleep for five minutes, and you all make Roddy plow the car into a tree? Oh my God, look at this thing, it's totaled, it's completely totaled! Ugh! I knew I should've stayed awake! I should never fall asleep in the car with _you _guys around!"

During Elizabeta's rant, Gilbert picked up one of Kiku's manga and held it in front of his face, completely ignoring the Hungarian. However, Kiku snatched it back, not letting Gilbert avoid the fact that he was in trouble.

"Hey!" Gilbert whined. "Give it back."

"I'll think about it," said Kiku. Gilbert pouted, knowing that Kiku really meant "No".

While Elizabeta was scolding him, Ivan, Francis, Antonio, Vash, and Gilbert, Wakko turned to his brother and sister and smiled sheepishly.

"Don't give me that, Wakko," said Yakko. "You owe Roderich an apology."

Wakko turned to Dot, who agreed with Yakko.

"I'm sorry," Wakko said to a still scared Roderich.

"Apology...accepted..." Roderich managed to say.

"Well, looks like we'll have to make camp here," said Elizabeta. "The rest of you can apologize to Roddykins later, especially _you_, Vash Zwingli!"

"Okay, okay," Vash said nervously, not wanting Elizabeta to get out her frying pan and hit him.

"This is not turning out the way I thought it was, aru," Yao commented on the group's current situation.

* * *

Later on, they all began to set up tents that they brought along for just such an emergency.

Elizabeta noticed that Lovino and Feliciano were having a hard time setting up their tent, which had the Italian flag on one side and a picture of a plate of pasta and tomatoes on the other.

"Do you guys need help?" asked Elizabeta.

"Sure," said Lovino, grateful that someone came over to help him and Feli.

With Elizabeta's help, the Vargas brothers had their tent set up just the way they wanted it.

Kiku was rummaging through a cooler for stuff to eat, but it looked like they'd need a grill or campfire to cook most of the stuff. Fortunately, Wakko brought his gag bag with him.

When Wakko reached into the gag bag, he pulled out a grill and a bag of charcoal. All he didn't have was the lighter!

"Um...what about a lighter, Wakko-san?" asked Kiku.

"I can't carry a lighter," said Wakko. "It's dangerous."

"How do you expect us to cook, then?" asked Vash.

"Don't worry, I've got it covered," said Arthur. He pulled a lighter out of his pants pocket.

"Oh, good, so we don't have to worry about how we'll cook tonight, aru," said Yao.

"Why do you carry a lighter around with you anyway?" Katyusha asked Arthur out of curiosity.

"I brought it in case we need to light a campfire or something," Arthur answered.

* * *

Later that night, they relaxed and made dinner on the grill. They decided on steak, and also made a couple hamburgers for Alfred.

"Are you guys sure there aren't any monsters out here?" Roderich asked nervously. He was still scared of what Gilbert, Vash, Wakko, Ivan, Francis and Antonio had said before he crashed the car.

"Yes, Roderich, we're sure," said Toris.

"Yeah, there's totally nothing to be afraid of out here," Feliks said confidently. "Except for Ivan and Natalia, of course," he added.

"Hey," said Ivan and Natalia.

"It's a hard truth, guys, live with it," said Matthew.

"I'm still scared," said Roderich.

"Sorry, man," said Vash.

"I'm sorry," said Gilbert; Antonio and Francis, as well as Ivan, apologized as well.

"We should get some more wood for the fire," said Elizabeta. "It's getting low."

"Right," said Roderich. "I can go."

"You sure?" asked Vash.

"Yes, I'm sure," said Roderich. "Maybe a walk will help me feel better."

"I'll go with you," said Gilbert.

"No way in hell," Roderich said. "There's no way I'm having a repeat of what happened in Warnerstock!"

"But-" Gilbert said.

"If you're that worried, Roddykins," said Elizabeta, "I'll tie these ropes to you and Gilbo, that way you'll be able to find your way back."

"Okay," said Roderich, and Elizabeta tied the lifelines to him and Gilbert.

"If there's any danger, just tug on them, and we'll pull you guys back," said Elizabeta.

"Okay," said Gilbert. "Let's go!"

After Roderich and Gilbert left, Dot asked, "Are they gonna be okay?"

"I'm sure they'll be fine," said Elizabeta. "What could happen?"

* * *

The two cousins were walking through the dark forest, looking for anything to use for firewood. Unknown to them, something was in the shadows, watching them with sinister eyes.

* * *

**Dun dun dunnnnnnn!**

**To be continued!**


	13. Roderich, Kidnapped by Panthers!

**Author's Note:** Hey, everyone. I'm sorry I'm so late; school keeping me busy and all.

Well, here's the next chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 12: Roderich, Kidnapped by Panthers!**

"Are they gonna be okay?" Dot asked after Roderich and Gilbert left to go get more firewood.

"I'm sure they'll be fine," said Elizabeta. "What could happen?"

* * *

As Roderich and Gilbert walked through the forest, looking for wood, someone was watching them in the shadows of the night.

Roderich was now walking deeper into the woods, carrying an armful of sticks. He turned to ask how Gilbert was doing with his gathering, and then saw, to his horror, that his little cousin wasn't next to him!

Poor Roderich was scared now and started calling Gilbert's name. It was after he called for Gilbo for the twenty-fifth time that he thought he heard someone (or some_thing_) creeping behind him.

He at first thought that it was one of the monsters that the kids were talking about earlier, before he plowed the car into a tree. Roderich turned to look and, all of a sudden...

"BOO!" someone shouted.

Roderich screamed and fell on his butt, dropping his bundle of sticks in the process. When he calmed down enough to catch his breath and stand up, he saw Gilbert standing in front of him, laughing it up! That was when he figured out Gilbert was the one making all those scary noises just a moment ago.

"Gilbert, you...brat!" the young man shouted. "You nearly gave me a heart attack! Are you happy now?"

"Yeah, that was funny," said Gilbert. "You should've seen your face, Roddy! You were all 'AAAAAHHHHH!' My favorite part was when you fell on your ass."

"Oh, really," Roderich said sarcastically. "Well, you know what _my _favorite part is?"

"What?" Gilbert asked.

"My favorite part was when I kicked your stupid half-Prussian/half-German ass!" said Roderich.

"You can't kick my butt," said Gilbert. "If Mom sees any bruises on me, she'll know it was you. And then you'll be in trouble."

"You know what?" Roderich said angrily. "You're being a little brat right now. I swear, you're gonna be the death of me one of these days, I just know it!"

"Oh, yeah, very nice thing to say to the son of the people who took you in 10 years ago," Gilbert said sarcastically.

"Don't you get smart with me, you little imbecile!" Roderich said, getting in Gilbert's face.

"That's it, Roddykins!" Gilbert shouted.

"I've had it with you, Gilbert!" Roderich yelled at his cousin.

"From now on," the both of them said, "I'm going it alone!" They then both split up and went in different directions.

* * *

Gilbert was walking in another part of the forest.

"Stupid Roderich," the 10-year-old muttered under his breath. "I don't need him, I _never _did. All he does is-"

Gilbert stopped his ranting when he heard a scream coming from the direction Roderich had taken.

"That sounded like...oh no," Gilbert said quietly, running in the direction of the screams.

When he got there, Gilbert saw that Roderich's line had been cut, and his cousin's fake glasses on the ground.

"No..." Gilbert said, picking up Roderich's glasses. He then quickly followed his own line back to the campsite.

* * *

"Help!" Roderich yelled as he was being carried by a big panther demon. "Put me down! I'm calling the cops! Heeeeeeelp!"

"Shut up before I punch you," the demon threatened Roderich.

"I won't shut up!" shouted Roderich. "Help me, help me!"

"Alright, that's it!" the demon said angrily. He then punched Roderich hard, knocking him out.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the camp, everyone was still waiting for Roderich and Gilbert to come back with firewood. Good thing the Warners came along; otherwise, everyone would've been bored out of their minds!

Right now, the royal siblings were taking a break and let Feliciano sing.

_**"Marukaite chikyuu**_

_**Marukaite chikyuu**_

_**Marukaite chikyuu**_

_**Boku Hetalia.**_

_**Aa hitofude de**_

_**Mieru subarashi sekai**_

_**Nagagutsu de kanpai da**_

_**Hetalia!"**_

"Awww," Vash and Elizabeta said as they and everyone else clapped and Feliciano bowed.

"That's so adorable, Feli," said Elizabeta.

"He's cute, but I'm so much cuter," Dot said.

"What was that, Dot?" Lovino said angrily as he got in Dot's face.

"Uh...sorry, what was the question?" Dot said, trying like hell to avoid the wrath of Lovino.

"Good," said Lovino.

Katyusha giggled at Lovino and reached for some popcorn. To her surprise, she felt someone else's hand in the bag along with hers. She turned to see who it was, and saw a little boy (or was it a girl?) with a fox tail looking at her.

The child giggled a little and said, "Uh, hello."

Katyusha's eyes widened in shock, and she screamed. "AHHHHHHHHH, MONSTER!" she yelled and hit the child with a wiffle ball bat.

"Ow, ow, ow!" the kid said over and over. "Stop hitting me!"

Gilbert came back, about to tell them what happened, when he saw everyone watching as Katyusha beat up the kid with the fox tail.

"What the heck is this all about?" Gilbert asked.

"Apparently, Katyusha-chan isn't used to seeing fox people," said Kiku.

"That's enough, Kat," Elizabeta said as she pulled the girl off the fox child.

As Katyusha calmed herself down, the fox kid rubbed his (or her) head. "What'd you hit me for?" the kid asked Katyusha.

"You scared me!" Katyusha said.

"And I think the real question is," said Ivan, "what were you doing rummaging through our food?"

"I got hungry and spotted the popcorn," said the child.

"Well, now that we know that much," said Elizabeta, "would you mind telling us who you are?"

"My name's Shippo," said the child. "And I've been traveling with my best friends."

"I've, like, got a question for you?" said Feliks.

"What?" asked Shippo.

"Like, are you a boy or a girl?" Feliks asked.

"I'm a boy!" said Shippo.

"Okay, geez, I was just asking," said Feliks.

The group then heard voices calling Shippo's name; they sounded like a male and at least two females.

Out of nowhere, a small, light yellow cat with two tails came up to the camp and Kiku spotted it.

"Kitty!" Kiku said happily, trying to catch the cat so he could hug it.

"Kiku, leave the cat alone, aru," said Yao as he tried to catch his little brother.

"That thing might have rabies or something," said Ludwig.

"Kirara doesn't have rabies, you stupid Kraut!" shouted Shippo.

As the cat turned its head to the side and meowed as if signaling someone, Ludwig said, "That's mean! And how did you know I was part German?"

"I can tell 'cause you have blond hair and blue eyes," said Shippo.

"That's, like, a total stereotype," said Feliks.

Just then, a man and two women came to the camp.

"What is it, Kirara?" asked a woman with long, black hair in a ponytail.

The cat turned its head towards Shippo.

"Oh, good, you found Shippo," said a girl in a green miniskirt.

"That's a relief," said a man dressed in monks' clothes. "I was starting to get worried you were captured as well."

It was then that Yakko, Wakko and Dot noticed how the three looked.

"Hellooooo, Nurse!" they all said in unison and jumped into the new trio's arms.

"I like that boomerang, cutie pie," Yakko said to the woman with the ponytail.

"Ew," she said and threw Yakko on the ground.

"Hey, cutie, what's your sign?" Wakko asked the girl in the miniskirt.

"Get lost, creepo," the girl said and threw Wakko right at Elizabeta. The girl then went up to Vash and tried to flirt with him.

"You know, I happen to find purple eyes manly," Dot said to the man in the monks' clothes.

"Normally, I'm a gentleman," said the man. "But in your case, I'll make an exception." He then held Dot out and dropped her on the ground.

"He's sooo handsome," Dot said dreamily, staring at the man.

"Don't look now, Sango," the man said, "but Kagome seems to be flirting." He indicated the girl in the miniskirt who was hitting on Vash.

"Come on, Miroku," Sango said to the man. "Let's get her off the poor guy."

"Right," said Miroku. He and Sango then went up to Vash and Kagome and pulled Kagome off Vash, much to the young man's relief.

"Thank you," Vash said. "She's creepy."

"Miroku, Sango, I was just talking to him," Kagome whined.

That was when Gilbert remembered what had happened in the woods; he had forgotten when he saw Katyusha beating up Shippo.

"Lizzie! Vash!" the boy cried.

"What's wrong?" Vash asked.

"Roddykins is missing," Gilbert said, about to cry.

"Missing?" Elizabeta said frantically.

"Yeah," said Gilbert. "We went in different directions, and then I heard him scream! And when I went to see what was wrong, I found his line cut and his glasses on the ground." He pulled Roderich's glasses out of his jacket pocket and gave them to Elizabeta.

"He probably just dropped his glasses," said Lovino while munching on a tomato.

"Roddy never goes anywhere without his glasses," said Ludwig.

"Yeah, and like I said before, his line was cut, doofus!" Gilbert exclaimed as he tried not to get upset. "Something happened to him!"

"I wonder if it has anything to do with what happened to Inuyasha," said Miroku.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Arthur asked.

"Our friend, Inuyasha, got abducted by a group of panther demons," Miroku replied. "And we can't seem to find them."

"We tried fighting them, but we were unable to stop them," said Sango. "Well, at least _Miroku and I _fought them when they managed to weaken Inuyasha."

"What are you talking about, Sango?" said Kagome. "I helped!"

"No you didn't, Kagome," Sango said, her eye twitching as she spoke to the irritating girl. "You fainted at the sight of them!"

"You don't understand, Sango!" said Kagome. "There was an ARMY of panthers!"

"Kagome, there were only _four _of them," said Miroku. "Four panther demons an army does not make."

"Huh?" Kagome said.

"He means that four panthers demons doesn't qualify as a freaking army!" Sango said angrily. "Argh! It's like talking to a 4-year-old!"

As Kagome and Sango kept fighting over whether or not four panther demons qualified as an army, Vash stepped in.

"Alright, stop fighting right now!" the Swiss yelled, which got the girls to stop. "We need to come up with a plan. What happened to Inuyasha might've happened to Roderich, too!"

As the group sat down and tried to figure out what to do, Roderich was now at the panther demons' hiding place.

* * *

The big demon came in and was greeted by the rest of the pack. One of the females, who appeared to be the leader of the pack, came up to the male demon and saw that he had a still unconscious Roderich with him.

"Just throw that human in with the half-breed," the female demon said, and gestured to an old cabin that happened to be there.

"Okay, Touran," the male demon said. He went to the cabin and threw Roderich in.

"Hey, half-breed," he said to a silver-haired half-dog demon/half-human man. "You've got a roommate now."

"Don't call me that!" the man yelled before the panther demon shut the door. "Hey, get up," he then said, shaking Roderich. "Are you okay?"

"I hate you, Gilbert," Roderich mumbled upon waking up.

"Who the heck is Gilbert?" the man asked.

"Oh..." Roderich said, slightly embarrassed that he called a complete stranger by his cousin's name. "My cousin."

"I'm guessing you got caught by the panther demons, too," the silver-haired man said.

"So that's what that thing was?" asked an alarmed Roderich.

"Yup," said the man.

"Oh, crap," said Roderich.

"Don't worry," said the man. "My friends will be here soon. They're very powerful. I'd bust us out myself, but they seemed to have put a spell on the cabin, so I can't use my powers. And I'm not strong enough.

"I've got some pretty strong friends, too," said Roderich. "My name is Roderich Edelstein, by the way. What's your name?"

"My name's Inuyasha," the man said.

"I don't mean to sound rude, but...are those ears real?" said Roderich, pointing at Inuyasha's ears.

"Of course they're real," said Inuyasha. "And you're not being rude; I get that question a lot. You must've never seen a half-demon before."

"No, I haven't," said Roderich. "So, when are your friends gonna get here?"

"Soon," said Inuyasha.

"My friends probably don't even know I've been kidnapped," Roderich whined. "This is baaaaaaad!"

"Hey, it could be worse," said Inuyasha.

"How?" asked Roderich.

"They could've just killed you instead of taking you," said Inuyasha.

"Well, why didn't they?" Roderich asked in surprise.

"Probably because they want to use you as a sacrifice," said Inuyasha. "That's why they took _me_."

"Great," Roderich said sadly. "I'm gonna die."


	14. To The Rescue, Part I

**Chapter 13: To The Rescue, Part I**

Gilbert had to lead the rest of the group to the last place he saw his cousin. When they got to a part of the woods, everyone stopped.

"This...this is his line..." Gilbert said, trying to keep himself together.

"Oh my God," said Elizabeta. "Poor Roddykins. I hope he's okay."

"Oh, he probably just got lost," said Kagome, not knowing squat about how serious the situation was.

Gilbert and Ludwig yelled at her. "Our cousin is missing, you dumb broad!" the kids shouted, now getting in Kagome's face.

"Get out of my face!" Kagome said and pushed the boys down on the ground.

"Lizzie, she pushed me," Ludwig and Gilbert said and started crying.

"How dare you?" Elizabeta said angrily while she tried to comfort poor Lui and Gilbo. "Pushing two little kids. That's low."

"They brought it on themselves," Kagome said in a snobby manner.

"Why you little...!" said Elizabeta, getting out her frying pan. "Have you no soul?" She got ready to strike Kagome with the pan when Vash got in between the girls.

"Cool it!" the Swiss said.

"This is not a bloody sitcom," said Arthur. "We've got more important things to worry about. Like getting Roderich back."

"And Inuyasha," Miroku added.

"Right, him, too," said Arthur.

"Thank you, Arthur," said Vash. "Iggy's right. We need to find out where these panther demons are keeping our friends. And then we need to come up with a plan to free them."

"Okay," Elizabeta and Kagome said, glaring at each other. Elizabeta was still holding onto Gilbert and Ludwig, who were cowering away from Kagome.

"Well, now that that's settled, let's see if we can find any leads, aru," said Yao.

"Good thinking, Yao," said Sango.

"But how are we gonna find the demons?" asked Shippo. "We don't have Inuyasha with us."

"We have Miroku to sense them, Shippo," said Sango. "Remember?"

"That lecher?" Shippo said with ridicule in his voice.

"This "lecher" can hear you, Raccoon Dog," Miroku said irritably.

"I'm a fox and you know it!" Shippo yelled while throwing a tantrum.

"And you've got me," Kagome said overconfidently.

"No offense, Kagome, but you're not very good at tracking things, much less _people_," said Sango.

"I want my cousin," Ludwig said, still crying.

"I'm sorry, Roddy," Gilbert said, also still upset. "I'm sorry I picked on you. Come back!"

"It's okay, guys," said Feliciano. "We'll find him."

Ludwig sniffed. "Really, Feli?"

"Yeah!" Feliciano said happily.

* * *

Meanwhile, Roderich was using a nail file (Elizabeta's nail file, by the way) to try and break the bars on the window of the cabin. But it broke.

"Oh, man!" Roderich whined. "Lizzie's gonna kill me."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "You're an idiot," he said. "That's not gonna work."

"Oh, yeah? Do _you_ have any better ideas, Mister Female Dog Demon?" Roderich said. He was really scared now that he found out why the panther demons took him.

"Hey! Don't make fun of my name! And no, I don't have any ideas. But I _do_ know that using a nail fine on the bars isn't gonna work," said Inuyasha. "Why do you even have that thing with you anyway? You're not a girl."

"My girlfriend asked me to carry it for her," said Roderich.

"Is that who this Lizzie girl you just mentioned is?" asked Inuyasha.

"Yeah," Roderich replied. "Lizzie is short for Elizabeta. And that nail file was hers!"

Inuyasha sighed. Roderich was starting to annoy him a little with all this worrying over a stupid nail file when his very life was in danger. "I'm pretty sure that if Elizabeta loves you, she won't kill you over that stupid thing," he said.

"Thanks Inuyasha," Roderich said. He then got another idea.

"I just remembered," he said with hope.

"What?" asked Inuyasha.

"Lizzie asked me to carry a bunch of her hair accessories," Roderich said happily, going over to the locked door. He took out a bobby pin. "I could use these to pick the lock."

Roderich tried to pick the lock with the bobby pin, but it broke. He tried another one. Broke. The fates of the rest of the bobby pins were the same as the previous two.

He tried using a hairpin next, and it broke. A clip. Broke. Then, he tried a clip-on bow. Broke. And then, he tried one of Elizabeta's hair combs. That one broke as well.

"_Verdammt, verdammt, verdammt_!" Roderich said. "D'oh! Shoot! _Scheiße!_"

"Colorful vocabulary you've got there," Inuyasha commented with a chuckle.

"Oh, shut up," said Roderich. "Don't get used to it; I only curse in German if I'm really, really angry." He then tried another hair comb. Broke. "_Hurensohn_!" he shouted and stomped his feet.

Inuyasha watched as Roderich got out yet another hair clip. "You know, man," he finally said. "If you keep doing that, you're gonna have to buy a whole new set of hair accessories for your girlfriend."

"Yeah, you're right," Roderich said and sat down. "I don't wanna die!"

"You're not gonna die," said Inuyasha. "Your friends will get here, and my friends will be here, too. Plus, when those demons bring us out to be sacrificed, I'll have my powers back, and I'll be able to fight. So you can count of me."

"Thanks," said Roderich.

* * *

It was getting dark when Vash, Elizabeta and the others were still in the woods, waiting for Miroku to be able to sense the panthers' energy.

"Oh, it's so scary," Dot said dramatically and went up to the young monk. "Hold me, Miroku." She interrupted poor Miroku by getting in his lap and hugging him.

Miroku picked Dot up and put her back with Yakko and Wakko. "Here," he said. "You two hold her. She's your sister." He then went back to meditating; Miroku would've been able to sense the panthers or Inuyasha had he not been interrupted not only by Dot, but other times as well.

While Miroku was meditating behind a sound-proof barrier, Arthur spoke up. "This is taking forever!" he said. "I'll just use a locator spell." Arthur then said an incantation and the spell started to work, showing him an image of Roderich and Inuyasha trapped in a hut. In the image, Roderich was breaking Elizabeta's hair accessories while trying to pick the lock, while Inuyasha was rolling his eyes.

Miroku then put down his barrier. He and Arthur pointed in the same direction and said in unison, "That way!" They looked at each other with puzzled faces.

"Were you using a locator spell?" Miroku asked the boy with the thick eyebrows.

"Yeah, didn't you hear me?" asked Arthur.

"No," said Miroku. "I made that barrier sound-proof because of all the noise."

"Oh," said Arthur.

"Never mind who located who," said Elizabeta. "Let's just go!"

"Uh, right," Arthur and Miroku said at the same time. They then both led the way to the panther demons' location.

* * *

When the group got to the location, it had been a whole five minutes; turned out that Roderich and Inuyasha weren't very far to begin with. They were sneaking through the bushes, careful not to let the demons smell them.

Natalia noticed that the demons were getting ready to perform some type of ritual.

"What are they doing?" she asked.

"I think they're going to sacrifice Roderich and Inuyasha in order to bring back the leader of their pack," said Sango. "Their leader died a long time ago, you see. He was killed by Sesshomaru, Inuyasha's older brother."

"Older _half_ brother, to be exact," said Kagome.

"Never mind, Kagome," Miroku said irritably, his eye twitching as he kept his cool in front of the annoying girl.

"Half brother, whole brother, what does it matter?" Vash said.

"Thank you, Vash," Sango said, relieved that Kagome finally _shut up_. She then felt someone touching her butt.

"Miroku," Sango said angrily, turning and glaring at the monk.

"Sango, it wasn't me," said Miroku. He showed her his hands. "See?"

Sango looked behind her and saw who really was the butt-touching culprit: Yakko.

"Did I do something wrong?" Yakko asked, utterly confused.

*WHAM!* Sango hit Yakko on the head.

"Yow!" Yakko yelled and rubbed his aching head. Fortunately, the panther demons didn't seem to hear that.

"Did she have to hit me so hard?" Yakko said while Wakko gave him an ice pack.

"Ouch," said Miroku. "That's bigger than the ones I used to get."

Everyone looked at Miroku in confusion.

"Uh...long story," the monk said.

"Yeah, and it's not very interesting," said Sango.

"But Sango..." said Kagome.

"IT'S NOT VERY INTERESTING!" Sango shouted at Kagome.

Nobody asked anything about the story, probably already figuring out that it was something Miroku and Sango didn't want to talk about anyway.

"Now, when I found Roderich and Inuyasha," Arthur said, "they were inside a hut with bars on the windows. At least I'm pretty sure that the other guy in there with Roddy was Inuyasha."

"Did he have long, silver hair and dog ears?" asked Miroku. "And was he wearing a red outfit?"

"Yes," Arthur said with surprise. "How did you know?"

"That's Inuyasha, alright," said Miroku. "So, what's the plan?"

"We pick the lock," said Elizabeta in a quiet voice. "Then, we sneak in and break Roddykins and Inuyasha out. But we have to be stealthy about it. Got it?" She mostly looked at Kagome, Shippo and the Warners as she said this.

"Okay," the Warners replied.

"You got it," said Shippo.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," said Kagome. She was still angry that she didn't get to pick on Gilbert and Ludwig more.

Before they started moving, Ludwig looked at Feliks, blushing slightly as he did so.

"Um...Krysia..." the younger Beilschmidt brother said shyly; he had forgotten that he was talking to Feliks, not Feliks' older sister. "When...when this quest is over...would you like to get some ice cream with me?"

"Lui, that's nice, but, like, I'm not Krysia," said Feliks.

"...What?" Ludwig asked.

"Like, I'm Feliks, duh," the Polish boy said and flipped his hair.

"Oh," said Ludwig. "Sorry..." _'Oh, man, I did it again!' _he thought. Poor Lui was embarrassed that he had just mistaken Feliks for the boy's big sister.

When they were about to move, Wakko got a weird feeling. "Uh-oh," he said nervously.

"What is it, Wakko?" asked Katyusha.

"I-I think I'm gonna burp," Wakko said.

Yakko and Dot, remembering how loud Wakko burped, panicked.

"Hold it in, Wakko!" said Dot. "Hold it in!"

"What's gonna happen?" asked Matthew.

"Uh..." said Yakko. "Something bad."

"Like what?" asked Antonio.

"You're about to see," said Yakko. "Hit the deck!"

Everyone ducked behind bushes and trees.

Without warning, Wakko let out an extremely large burp, loud enough to disturb the wildlife and the living dead. Unfortunately, the panther demons heard that.

"Excuse me," Wakko said sheepishly.

"Wakko, what the heck was that?" Lovino asked.

"That's how I burp," said Wakko.

"Are we gonna get caught?" asked Shippo.

Miroku was about to answer when...

"Yaaaaahhhhhh!" Feliciano screamed.

Everyone turned around and saw the panther demons standing right behind them.

"Uh-oh..." said Gilbert. He jumped in front of Ludwig to protect him from the demons.

Vash glared at Wakko.

"Nice going," he said.

"My bad," said Wakko.

"You're damn right, your bad!" Vash said.

"Vash, can you yell at Wakko later?" Elizabeta asked impatiently.

"Oh, right," said Vash. He then took out a gun, ready to shoot the demons.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," said Koran.

"Why not?" Vash asked.

"Because of this," said Shunran. She used a mist, and some of the group started feeling dizzy upon inhaling it.

"Oh, man..." said Miroku.

"This is bad," Sango said drowsily; she had forgotten to put her gas mask on in the heat of the moment.

A few moments later, the whole group felt dizzy and drowsy. Everyone started to pass out one by one. It took Ivan and his sisters a long time to pass out due to them not being as affected by the mist as the others.

"Feli...Feli, wake up," Lovino said weakly as he saw his little brother lying on the ground. It didn't take long for the older Vargas brother to pass out as well.

"Gilbo...I'm sc-scared...help me," Ludwig said before falling on the ground and closing his eyes.

"West..." said Gilbert. He, too, passed out along with the others.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Uh-oh! Looks like our heroes are in trouble!

Oh, the following words and/or phrases being translated are German.

1. _Verdammt, verdammt, verdammt_!- Damn it, damn it, damn it!

2. _Scheiße!_- Shit!

3. _Hurensohn!_- Son of a bitch!


	15. To The Rescue, Part II

**Author's Note:** Hey, everyone! Sorry about the long wait; I had a couple of Christmas-themed things to write.

Without further ado, more _APH Kids: Quest for the Holy Grail_.

Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 14: To the Rescue, Part II**

"You stupid little...! GAH! Why did you have to burp so damn loud?"

"Huh?" said a still drowsy Ludwig. He opened his eyes and was one of three witnesses to a very angry Vash shouting at and strangling Wakko.

"Hey!" Yakko and Dot yelled. "Get off our brother!" They both tried pulling the Swiss teen off Wakko, but Vash just pushed the two children away.

"I'm sorry," Wakko said. He tried getting Vash to stop strangling him.

"Now we're all trapped in here because of you! And we're probably gonna die!" Vash shouted.

"What?" asked Ludwig, who was now really scared and more awake.

"Lui," said Roderich. He picked up his cousin and hugged him. "Thank God, you're awake."

"Are we gonna die?" Ludwig asked. He was crying now. "I don't wanna die, Roddy."

"No, of course not," said Roderich. "Don't worry. Inuyasha will get us out of this mess when the demons come to sacrifice us."

"Who's Inuyasha?" Ludwig asked.

"I'm Inuyasha," Inuyasha replied. He walked over to Roderich and Ludwig.

"Ha-ha! You're a girl with a man's voice!" said Ludwig. He started laughing at Inuyasha, who was now angry.

"Uh, Lui, please don't-" said Roderich. But he was interrupted by Ludwig, who continued laughing and mocking Inuyasha.

"Hahahahaha! Girly-man, girly-man, girly-man, girly, girly, girly-man!" Ludwig continued saying.

"Shut up, kid," said Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha's a girly-man!" said Ludwig. "Ha-ha!"

"Hey, kid, I said shut up!" said Inuyasha. He then hit Ludwig on the head. The poor kid now had a large bump.

"Waaaaaahhhhhhh!" said Ludwig. "Roddy, he hit me!"

As if on cue, Gilbert woke up from being knocked out. "I heard my brother crying!"

"Gilbo, you're awake, too," said Roderich.

"Yeah, I'm awake," said Gilbert. "Now," he continued, now looking at the crowd. "Who made West cry? Was it you?" He was looking at Inuyasha.

"Yeah, Gilbo," said Ludwig. He was still crying his eyes out from being hit on the head. "That guy hit me. Waaaaaahhhhhhh!"

"There, there," Gilbert said gently. He turned to Inuyasha. "So, you like to pick on little 6-year-old kids, do you?" he yelled.

"Hey, your little brother had it coming," said Inuyasha. "He called me a girly-man."

"Ludwig's only 6, you asshole!" shouted Gilbert.

"Well, that doesn't make it okay for him to make fun of how I look!" said Inuyasha.

"Whatever," said Gilbert. He was mad at Inuyasha for hitting Ludwig on the head.

"I hate to rain on your parade," Ivan butt in. "But Kagome there seems to be panicking."

"Oh, boy," said an annoyed Inuyasha. "What is it this time?"

"See for yourself," said Ivan. He gestured to a part of the cabin, where Kagome was standing and looking in an old, dirty mirror. She looked freaked out.

"Oh my God!" the annoying girl shouted. "I've got a zit! A-And my hair's totally messy! Oh my Goooooooodddddddd!"

Inuyasha went over to Kagome and grabbed her by the shoulders. He started to shake her. "Get a hold of yourself, Kagome! Get a hold of yourself!"

Kagome was still freaking out.

"I'll handle this, Inuyasha," said Miroku. "I think you should go apologize to little Lui."

"Fine," said Inuyasha. He walked away while Miroku grabbed Kagome, shook her and actually slapped her.

"Get a hold of yourself! Come on, Kagome, get a hold of yourself! Calm down!" said Miroku.

"Uh, Miroku, Sango wants you," said Arthur.

"Okay," said Miroku. "Thanks, Arthur." He walked away and joined his girlfriend.

"Get a bloody hold of yourself, girl!" Arthur yelled. He was shaking and slapping Kagome as well. "Bloody hell, get a hold of yourself! Gee, you're total bullocks!"

There were other people waiting in line to shake and slap Kagome as well. This included Vash (who wasn't strangling Wakko anymore), the Warner siblings, Elizabeta, Lovino, Yao, the Braginski siblings, and Alfred.

Feliciano and Kiku were busy trying to make poor Ludwig feel better after getting hit on the head by Inuyasha, and Toris, Francis, Antonio, Matthew and Feliks were busy enjoying the "Let's-shake-and-hit-Kagome" show.

Francis then butt in. "If you guys are done beating up mademoiselle Kagome, we have got a really big problem!"

"That's weird," said Arthur. "Francis actually made a rational point...for once."

"I'm sorry," said Kagome. "I was childish, and things got out of hand."

"That's not fair!" said Inuyasha. "It's our jobs to be mature!"

"Hey, don't yell at Kagome like that!" said Shippo.

"Shut up, Shippo!" said Inuyasha. He hit the annoying fox demon child on the head.

"Ouch!" said Shippo.

Francis butt in again. "Seriously, we've got more important things to worry about before those panther demons come get us. Like what to do about those tacky clothes."

"This is a life-or-death situation!" everyone shouted. "And you're wearing a cape!"

"It's a cloak, non?" said Francis.

"What is it with this guy and the cloak thing anyway?" asked Yakko.

"Don't ask me," said Gilbert. "Tony and I have known Francis since, well, forever."

"Yeah," said Antonio. "And we still don't get why he wears that cloak."

"It's my father's cloak," said Francis. "Cool, huh?"

"It looks flashy," said Sango.

"Aaaaaahhhhh! My retinas!" Miroku said. He was kidding, of course; he was only mocking the flashiness of Francis' cloak.

"Getting off the cloak subject," said Roderich. "How the hell are we gonna get out of here?"

"Yeah," said Matthew. "I wanna go home."

"It's okay, Mattie," said Alfred. "I'll get us outta here, 'cause I'm the hero!"

"Oh, shut up, you bloody git," said Arthur. "How to get out of here..I can use my magic."

"Hate to disappoint you, Bushy Brows," said Inuyasha. "But your magic won't work in here. They've got a barrier around this place."

"Dammit!" said Arthur.

"I'll use my trusty wok, aru!" said Yao.

"And I'll use my frying pan," said Elizabeta.

"No, no," said Inuyasha. "No woks, no frying pans. Those won't work, you idiots."

"Oh, dammit," said Elizabeta.

"Aiyaa!" said Yao.

"Here's a plan," said Sango. "Everyone _with brains _put them together, and we might be able to figure something out."

"Are you implying that I don't have a brain, Sango?" asked an angry Kagome.

"What do you think, Kagome?" said Sango. She was, indeed, implying that Kagome didn't have a brain. Well, she did, but she never used it...EVER.

"Biotch," Kagome muttered. She then sat down and pouted.

Everyone started thinking, until, finally, Yakko got an idea.

"I've got an idea," the eldest Warner sibling said. "One of us can slip through the bars, steal the keys, and then unlock the door and let everyone else out."

"That's a totally great idea, Yakko," said Feliks.

"Thanks, Feliks," said Yakko.

"Except for one thing," Feliks continued.

"What's that?" asked Yakko.

"None of us can, like, fit through those stupid things!" Feliks finished.

"Oh..." said an embarrassed Yakko. "Well, I gave it a shot."

"Any other ideas?" asked Roderich.

Miroku spoke up next. "Those panther demons should be coming to get one of us for the sacrifice, right?"

"Thanks for the reminder, pal," Inuyasha said sarcastically.

"What about it?" asked Elizabeta.

"Well," said Miroku. "Once that happens, they'll have to take down the barrier."

"Go on," said Arthur. This idea was starting to sound good.

"When one of those demons opens that door, Arthur can use an attack spell on him and then we'll be able to escape."

"Sounds like a great idea," said Alfred. "My big brother can do anything!"

"Here comes one of them now," said Elizabeta.

"This plan of yours better work," said Ivan.

"Trust me, it will," said Miroku.

"Sure, it will," said a sarcastic Shippo.

"We can do without the sarcasm, thank you very much," said Sango. She glared at annoying Shippo, who sat down next to Kagome and pouted just like her.

"Okay, get ready," said Vash.

"Right," everyone else said.

One of the panther demons put the barrier down and unlocked the door. She looked at the frightened humans and smiled.

"Time to start the ceremony," she said.

As soon as the demon took one step inside to grab one of the group, Arthur used an attack spell that sent the demon flying!

"Yes!" the magic boy exclaimed. "It worked!"

"That's great, that's really great," said Miroku. "Now, let's run for our lives!"

"Uh, right," said Arthur.

As the group started running, Inuyasha spoke up. "It shouldn't be hard getting past the other panther demons, considering there are only a few of them."

"Good," said Sango.

Ludwig then tripped and fell on the ground. "Guys, wait for me...Hey! Let me go!"

The boy was being held by one of the panther demons. "Not so fast, kid."

"Help!" Ludwig shouted. "Help, he's got me!"

"Shuran!" Koran said, running up to the male demon. "Good, you got one of 'em."

"Yeah," said Shuran. "He'll make a great sacrifice."

"Ah, yes, he will," said Koran.

"No, I don't wanna be sacrificed!" Ludwig shouted as Shuran and Koran started walking away with him. "Let go! Help!"

Gilbert stopped and ran towards his brother's cries for help.

"Gilbo, come back here!" said Roderich. He ran after Gilbert.

"West, I'm coming!" Gilbert called.

"Gilbo, look out!" said Ludwig upon seeing his big brother running toward him. He saw another panther demon behind Gilbert.

"What...?" said Gilbert. He turned around and saw one of the demons, and froze with fright.

"Big Brother, move out of th-!" Ludwig yelled before Shuran covered his mouth to keep him quiet.

* * *

The rest of the group wasn't far away when Inuyasha heard poor Ludwig screaming.

"Shit!" he said. "Mudgig got caught!"

"Well, he's done for," Kagome said quickly. "Let's go; my outfit's getting all wrinkly."

"Kagome, you insensitive little...biotch!" said Elizabeta.

"Inuyasha, where are you going?" asked Miroku when he saw Inuyasha running back to the panther demons' camp.

"To save Mudgig!" said Inuyasha.

"His name's Ludwig!" Feliciano and Kiku called.

"Whatever!" said Inuyasha.

"I'm coming, too, 'cause I'm the hero!" said Alfred. He ran off in the same direction as Inuyasha.

"Al, no!" Arthur said, scared for his baby brother.

* * *

"Let Lui go," said an angry Roderich.

"Sorry, but we're taking him to be sacrificed. Bye," said Koran. "Come on, Shuran."

"Mmmmph!" Ludwig said frantically as Koran and Shuran started running.

"No, West...Hey, let go!" said Gilbert. One of the demons had him.

"Unhand me, you ruffian!" Roderich said, struggling in the grip of another panther demon.

"Come on, let's go," said the demon who had Gilbert.

"Let go!" said Gilbert.

The demons who had Gilbert and Roderich started running as well.

Shuran, Koran and the other two demons were almost at their destination when...

"Hold it!" shouted Inuyasha.

"Oh, you," said Koran.

"Inuyasha," said Gilbert.

"And me, too!" said Alfred. "Let them go, you evil demons!" The kid charged at the demons, but was knocked out by Shuran, who was still keeping Ludwig quiet.

"Al!" Gilbert yelled. "No!"

"Gilbert, I need you and Ludwig to bite these guys," said Inuyasha.

"Okay," said Gilbert. He bit the demon.

"Ouch!" said the demon. "You insolent little...!" He punched the boy, which made Gilbert fall to the ground and hold his face in pain.

"West, you too," Gilbert said urgently. "Bite that demon."

"Oh, no you don't," said Shuran. He started trying to knock out Ludwig, who was struggling to bite him.

"No!" Gilbert exclaimed when he saw his little brother's eyes opening and closing. "Let him go!" Gilbert charged at Shuran, who started running away.

"Shuran, run away!" said Koran. "I'll get that...Hey!" She was stopped when Inuyasha knocked her down.

Gilbert successfully kicked Shuran in the back, which made the demon fall to the ground and let Ludwig go.

"Gil...Gilbo," Ludwig said, trying to catch his breath.

"West, thank God," said Gilbert. He helped Ludwig up, and the two rushed to help their cousin, who wasn't even trying to free himself.

"I said unhand me!" said Roderich.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" said Gilbert. "Stay here with Inuyasha," he said, leaving Ludwig with the hanyou.

Gilbert went up to the demon who had Roderich and kicked him in the groin.

"Thanks, Gilbo," said Roderich. He ran over to Inuyasha and Ludwig. Both Ludwig and Gilbert were now clinging to Roderich.

"Roddy, I'm sorry for picking on you," said Gilbert.

"It's okay," said Roderich. "That doesn't matter now."

"Alright, you guys!" Inuyasha shouted at the panther demons. "Iron Reaver Soul Stealer!" He charged at the demons and slashed them with his claws. Koran, Shuran, and the other demons were no more. Inuyasha picked Alfred up and turned to the three cousins. "Okay, guys. Let's go back to the others."

* * *

Moments later, Inuyasha, Roderich, Gilbert, Ludwig and Alfred arrived back where Miroku and the others were.

"Al!" said Arthur. He took his unconscious baby brother from Inuyasha. "What happened to him?"

"He's fine," said Inuyasha. "Just knocked out."

Arthur sighed in relief. "Thank goodness."

"Roddy, you're back!" said Elizabeta. She ran to Roderich and hugged him. He hugged her back.

"Hey, who's this kid?" asked Kagome. She was referring to Matthew. "Alfred's clone or something?"

"I'M MATTHEW, BIOTCH!" Matthew shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Okay, okay," said a scared Kagome. "Okay, you're Matthew. Got it."

"Good," Matthew sneered.

"So, did you defeat those guys?" asked Miroku.

"Yup," Inuyasha said triumphantly, his hands on his hips. "They didn't see my Iron Reaver Soul Stealer coming, HA!"

* * *

A day later, Inuyasha and his friends were getting ready to leave.

"Are you guys sure you don't want to join us in our quest for the Grail?" asked Roderich.

"Yes," said Miroku. "We rescued Inuyasha from the panther demons, and defeated them as well."

"Yeah," said Sango. "Now we have to continue our own quest: a quest for the shard of the Sacred Jewel."

"Oh," said Elizabeta. "Okay."

"Okay, guys," said Vash. "Maybe we'll meet again someday?"

"Maybe," said Miroku.

"Come on," said Inuyasha. "We've gotta go now."

"Coming," Sango and Miroku said in unison.

"Kagome, come on," Inuyasha said in an annoyed voice.

"But Inuyashaaaaaa, I wanna spend more time with Vaaaaaaaash," Kagome whined.

"Yeah, and I wanna pick on Ludwig, Kiku, and Feliciano more," said Shippo.

"Nobody's picking on anybody," said Miroku. "And Kagome, you're coming, too."

"Nooooo!" said Kagome as Inuyasha picked her up and carried her away. "Vash, my love, we'll meet again someday!"

"Oh no," said Vash. He really didn't like Kagome.

"Bye," the Suujiku-Warnerstock gang called, waving to Inuyasha and his friends.

"Bye," Miroku called back.

* * *

Sango, Miroku, Kagome and Inuyasha reached into their pockets for the heck of it and pulled out small sheets of paper. They unfolded them and were surprised at what they saw.

"Uh, guys," said Miroku. "I got that Dot girl's phone number."

"Me, too," said Inuyasha.

"And I've got that Yakko kid's number," said Sango.

"And I've got that ugly Wakko's number," Kagome whined. "I wanted Vash's number."

"Take a look," said Inuyasha. He showed Miroku, Sango and Kagome the number he found.

"Hey, we've got the same number," said Miroku. He and the girls each showed Inuyasha the numbers they found.

"Those kids are really weird," said Inuyasha.

"Agreed," said Miroku and the girls.

* * *

After Inuyasha and his friends left, it was, once again, just the Warner siblings and the kids from Suujiku.


	16. The Black Knights Who Say Nee

**Chapter 15: The Black Knights Who Say Nee**

The kids from Suujiku and Warnerstock were, once again, on their own with their quest. Unfortunately, because the car was plowed into a tree (thanks to Gilbert, Ludwig, and some of the other kids), they had to go on foot. Luckily, Wakko had a map in his gag bag, so they knew where they were going now.

"What _don't_ you have in that bag?" asked Gilbert.

"Matches or a lighter," said Wakko.

"Oh. I see," said Arthur.

"We better keep our guard up," said Roderich. "Baba did say that there are some annoying people here in these woods."

"Like, I'll protect Liet from them," said Feliks.

"_I_ could protect Toris," said Ivan. He was smiling that creepy smile again.

Feliks got in front of Toris and growled at Ivan, warning the Russian to stay away.

"Fine, fine," said a disappointed Ivan. "I'll stay with Yao instead."

"Good," said Feliks. He flashed a victorious smile.

Just then, the group heard a twig snap, and they looked around cautiously to see who was there.

"Stay behind me," Gilbert told Ludwig.

"Oh my God! What's that?" Elizabeta exclaimed. She saw someone clothed in all black walking by.

Roderich pulled Gilbert and Ludwig closer to him and held onto them tightly. "I don't know. But I don't want to find out!"

"_I_ do!" said Vash. He had one of his many guns ready.

"How many of those do you have?" asked Antonio.

"A fair few," Vash replied.

"A fair few?" asked Roderich in surprise. "Yeah right. You have _a bunch _of those things in your house!"

"Shut up and stay out of my way!" Vash yelled. He was still brandishing his gun and pointing it in every direction.

Natalia had her knife out. Katyusha gasped when she saw something in front of them. Everyone turned and saw what she was looking at. There were a whole bunch of people dressed in black. One of them was a guy with a helmet on, so nobody could see his face. The Suujiku-Warnerstock group could only assume that this guy was the other group's leader, judging by the way everyone was crowded around him.

Just as everyone was staring in shock, the black clad group said, "Nee!"

"Nee! Nee! Nee!"

The group of kids screamed.

"Who are you?" Vash asked.

"We are the Black Knights who say...NEE!" said the leader.

"Oh, no," said Matthew. "Not the Black Knights who say Nee."

"The same," said a girl with dark pink hair.

"Who are they?" asked Toris.

"We are the keepers of the sacred words: Nee, Pen, and Nee-wom!" said another girl with blond hair.

"Nee-wom!" said a random guy.

"Why did you repeat what she said?" asked another guy with brown hair.

"I dunno," said the guy who said 'Nee-wom'.

"Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!" said Roderich.

"The Black Knights who say Nee demand a sacrifice!" said the leader.

"Knights of Nee, we are but simple travelers who seek the guardian who lives in the country beyond these woods," said Arthur.

"Nee! Nee! Nee! Nee!" said the Black Knights who say Nee.

"Make it stop!" Katyusha screamed while covering her ears. Her brother and sister didn't seem the least bit fazed by the word Nee.

"We shall say Nee again to you if you do not appease us," said the masked leader.

"Well, what is you want?" asked Francis.

"We want..." said the pink-haired girl.

"...a SHRUBBERY!" the leader finished.

"A what?" Vash asked, the ridicule clear in his voice.

"Nee! Nee!" said the Black Knights who say Nee.

"Ow, ow!" the group said while covering their ears.

"Stop it! This is so annoying!" said Francis.

"Please! Please, no more!" Roderich pleaded. "We shall find a shrubbery."

"You must return here with a shrubbery, or else you will never pass through this wood...alive," said the leader.

"Oh Knights of Nee, you are just and fair," said Arthur. "We'll return with a shrubbery."

"One that looks nice," said the blond girl.

"Of course," said Katyusha.

"And not too expensive," said the brown-haired guy.

"Yes," said Elizabeta.

"Roddy can sniff one out," Gilbert said to himself.

"Now...go!" the leader commanded.

* * *

After departing from the group dressed in black, Roderich and the others were walking and looking for a place that sells shrubberies.

"Roddykins, where are we gonna find a shrubbery?" asked Gilbert.

"Yeah, where?" asked Ludwig.

"I don't know," said Roderich. "That's why we're looking."

"Oh," said the boys.

The group kept on walking until they found a village. When they entered they saw lots of shops and decided to ask around for a shrubbery place. They then came upon an old man in a suit. He sported gray hair and a mustache and beard.

"Hey, Pops!" said Vash. "You know where we could get a shrubbery?"

The old man's eyes widened. "Who sent you?"

"The Black Knights who say Nee," said Alfred.

"Agh! No! Never!" said the old man. "We have no shrubberies here!"

"If you don't tell us where we can find a shrubbery, then we shall say...NEE!" said Natalia.

"Agh!" said the old man. "Do your worst!"

"Very well," said Roderich. "If you will not help us voluntarily,...NEE!"

"No! Never! No shrubberies!"

"Nee!"

"Noo! Noo!" said Ludwig.

"No, it's not Noo," said Dot. "It's Nee."

"Noo!" said Ludwig.

"You're not doing it properly," said Yakko. "It's Nee."

"Noo! Nee!" said Ludwig.

"There, you've got it," said Feliciano.

"Nee! Nee!" the group said to the old man.

"Agh! No!" said the old man. "Ennis! Help me!"

"What's going on, Szilard?" asked a girl with short brown hair.

"Make these brats stop saying Nee!" said Szilard.

"Hey, cut it out!" said Ennis.

"Nee! Nee! Nee! Nee!" the group continued despite Ennis' protests.

"Are you saying Nee to that old man?" asked a man with glasses. He was wearing a brown suit and a black hat. There was a younger guy with him who was probably 18 or 19. He was wearing a green hat and laughing at Szilard.

"Firo, stop laughing," the glasses-wearing man scolded. "It's not that funny."

"Sorry, Maiza," said Firo. He disappeared back into a shop.

"Now," said Maiza. "I'll ask again. Are you saying Nee to that old man?"

"Yes," said Alfred.

"Man, it's sad how kids these days can just pass by and say Nee at will to their elders," said Maiza. "This town has turned into a pile of crap. Nothing is sacred."

A little boy around Gilbert's age with black hair came up to Szilard and said, "Nee!" He then laughed and ran away.

"Czeslaw Meyer!" Ennis and Maiza yelled at the boy. "Stop saying Nee!"

Czeslaw stuck his tongue out, laughed, and continued running.

"Sorry about him," said Maiza. "Now, back to what we were talking about: Well, even a shrubber like myself is under a great deal of stress due to the crappy economy of this town."

"Did you say shrubber?" asked Gilbert.

"Yeah," said Maiza. "My name's Maiza, and I'm a shrubber. I arrange, design and sell shrubberies."

"Nee!" said Ludwig.

"No, no, no, no!" said Roderich.

* * *

When they bought a shrubbery from Maiza the Shrubber, Roderich and the others brought the plant to the Black Knights.

"Oh, Knights of Nee, we have brought you a shrubbery. May we pass?" asked Roderich.

"It's a good shrubbery," said the leader.

"I really like the laurels," said the pink-haired girl.

"But there is one small problem," said the leader.

"Like, what's that?" asked Feliks.

"We are now...no longer the Black Knights who say Nee," said the leader.

"Nee!" said a random guy.

"Shh! Shh!" said the leader. "We are now the Black Knights who say Ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoom-boing."

"Nee!" said a random guy.

"Therefore, we must give you a test," said the leader.

"What is this test, O Knights of-Black Knights who till recently said Nee?" asked Arthur.

"First, you must find...ANOTHER SHRUBBERY!" said the leader.

"Not another one!" whined Toris.

"Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here beside this shrubbery," said the leader. "Only slightly higher so you get a two-level effect with a little path running down the middle."

"A path!" said the blond girl.

"A path!" said the brown-haired guy.

"Nee!" another random guy said.

"Then, when you've placed the shrubbery like so, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest...with...A HERRING!" said the leader. He pulled a herring out of his pocket.

"You must be crazy if you think we're doing that!" said Gilbert.

"Oh please," said the leader.

"Cut down a tree with a herring?" said Vash. "It can't be done!"

"Agh!" the Black Knights screamed. They were covering their ears and cringing.

"Don't say that!" said the leader.

"Don't say what?" asked Vash.

"I can't say the word, 'cause is one of the words the Black Knights who say Nee can't hear!" said the leader.

"How can we not say the word if you don't tell us what it is?" asked Vash.

"Agh!" said the Black Knights.

"What, 'is'?" asked Ludwig.

"No, not 'is'," said the leader. "We wouldn't get very far in life not saying 'is'."

"Hm..." said Alfred. "Is the word...IT?"

"Aaaagh!" said the Black Knights.

"Yes, that's it!" said the leader.

"Agh, Zero, you said it!" said the pink-haired girl.

"Gah!' said the brown-haired guy. "Now _you_ said it, Kallen!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!" said the blond girl. "Ohgi! Don't say it!"

"GAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" the rest of the Black Knights exclaimed.

"C.C!" said Zero.

"Sorry," said C.C.

"IT! IT! IT! IT!" Alfred and Gilbert chanted. This made the Black Knights scream and cover their ears.

"Let's go," said Vash. He led the group past the still screaming Black Knights. Now the kids were on their way to Mobius.


	17. Meeting the Guardian of Mobius

**Chapter 16: Arrival in Mobius and Meeting the Guardian**

After passing through the forest of the Black Knights Who Until Recently Said Nee, the Suujiku-Warnerstock group was now on their way to Mobius. Things were going well this time, but one thing kind of put a damper on their trip: The rest of the group never heard the end of Roderich's complaints about the Knights.

"Those stupid Black Knights," Roderich whined.

"Oh, shut _up_, Roderich," said an exasperated Vash. He glared at the Austrian who was falling behind.

"I can't wait to get to Mobius," Gilbert said excitedly as he carried Ludwig on his back.

"Me neither, big brother," said Ludwig. "Hey, maybe I should give _you_ a piggyback ride. I mean, I'm clearly stronger than you."

"No way," said Gilbert. He laughed a little. "You're so cute, West, thinking your big brother needs a piggyback ride."

"I'm not being cute," Ludwig protested. He gave up when Gilbert didn't put him down.

Feliks looked back at Roderich. "Hey, Liet, Roddykins is, like, totally falling behind." The Polish boy laughed.

Toris looked at Roderich as well and laughed with his best friend.

Roderich stopped. "Vaaaash, carry meeeee."

"No," said Vash. He kept on walking, already having his hands full with his gun, and giving Kiku a piggyback ride. He was letting Yao have a break from that.

"Come on!" said Roderich. He pouted childishly.

"I'll carry you, Roddykins," said Elizabeta. She went over to her boyfriend and put him on her back.

"Thanks, Lizzie," said Roderich. Now he was happy and stopped complaining...FINALLY.

Gilbert and Ludwig stopped and looked at Elizabeta carrying Roderich.

"What the heck?" Gilbert asked, trying not to laugh.

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ludwig started laughing hysterically. He laughed so hard that he almost fell off Gilbert.

"Gee, Roddykins, you have to have your girlfriend carry you?" said Gilbert.

"Shut up," said Roderich.

Gilbert and Ludwig continued laughing. Gilbert then turned around and kept walking.

* * *

About half an hour later, the group could see a town up ahead.

"Look, we're almost there!" said Dot.

"Maybe the town has a marriage chapel, Brother," said Natalia. She was clinging tightly to Ivan's arm.

"Nooooo!" said Ivan.

"Knock it off already!" said Katyusha. She pulled Natalia off Ivan.

"Let's just keep going, aru," said Yao.

Eventually, they arrived in the town and were surprised to see that mostly everyone was humanoid animals.

"This place...is weird," said Arthur.

"You said it," said Matthew.

"Who are you?" asked Ivan.

"I'M MATTHEW, DAMMIT!" Matthew yelled at the Russian boy. Matthew yelled so loud that he actually scared Ivan.

"Okay, okay...you're Matthew...sorry..." said Ivan. He hid behind _Natalia_ of all people.

"Brother, that means you love me," Natalia said about Ivan's hiding.

"Yeah, but not that way," said Ivan.

"Hey, can I help you guys?" asked a blue hedgehog.

"Yeah," said Roderich. "Our car broke down in the woods. Is there a mechanic around here?"

"Yeah," said the hedgehog. "My buddy Tails is a great mechanic. I'll take you to him." The hedgehog led the group to this "Tails" person...animal...thingy. "By the way, I'm Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog."

"Nice to meet you, Sonic," said Elizabeta.

After everyone introduced themselves, Sonic and the group came to a stop at what looked like a workshop.

"Hey, Tails," said Sonic.

"Hi, Sonic!" said a yellow, two-tailed fox. This was Tails, Sonic's buddy.

"Say, could you fix up these guys' car?" asked Sonic.

"No problem. Where is it?" said Tails.

"I'll take you to it," said Toris.

"Thanks," said Tails. He let Toris lead him out of the workshop.

"Like, be careful, Liet," said Feliks.

"Don't worry about me," said Toris.

"I'll get the X Tornado, and we can head out there right away," said Tails.

"Great," said Toris. He watched as Tails brought out a plane. This was the X Tornado.

Tails got in. "Okay, hop in," he said to Toris.

"'Kay," said Toris. He got in the plane, and Tails took off for the location of the car.

"While they're looking for the location of Roderich's car, maybe you could direct us to the guardian Baba told us about," said Lovino.

"Hm..." said Sonic. "Well, there's only one guardian around here. His name's Knuckles, and he guards the Master Emerald."

"May we see this Knuckles?" asked Kiku.

"Sure. I was just going to visit him today anyway," said Sonic. "You guys can come along."

"_Arigato_, Sonic-san," said Kiku. He gave a slight bow as a form of respect.

"You're...welcome," said Sonic. He was confused by Kiku's politeness. "Alright, off to Knuckles the Echidna." Sonic led the group to the whereabouts of this "Knuckles".

* * *

Minutes later, they arrived at a shrine with a giant emerald at the top. Next to it was a red echidna. This was Knuckles.

"Hey, Knuckles," said Sonic.

"Hey, Sonic," said Knuckles. "Who are your friends?"

"These guys are from Suujiku and Warnerstock," said Sonic. "They're looking for the Holy Grail."

"Are any of you related to Claus Beilschmidt?" Knuckles asked.

"Yeah!" said an excited Gilbert. "My little brother Lui and I are his sons, and Roddy here is his nephew. Uh, have you seen my dad?"

"Yeah," said Knuckles. "I met him and a group of men from Suujiku when they passed through here. They told me they were looking for the Grail."

"Why didn't you go with them?" asked Ludwig.

"I couldn't," said Knuckles. "I had to stay here and guard the Master Emerald."

"Oh," said Arthur.

"Couldn't someone else, like your parents or something, guard the thing for you?" asked Alfred.

"No," Knuckles said, clearly not wanting to talk about it. "Just call me an orphan; I have no family left."

Roderich sat down next to Knuckles. "That makes two of us, then."

"What are you talking about?" asked Knuckles.

"My parents were killed in a raid on Suujiku 10 years ago, when I was 8," said Roderich. "So the both of us are the same."

"No," said Knuckles. He bonked Roderich on the head.

"Ow!" Roderich whined.

"We're not the same," Knuckles continued. "At least _you_ have a loving aunt and uncle who took you in when you had no place to go. I had no one when my family died, because I literally have no family left."

"Sorry," Roderich mumbled.

"It's okay. You didn't know," said the echidna.

Gilbert thought that it was time to change the subject. "Knuckles, do you think you could show us where the Holy Grail is?"

"Sure," said Knuckles, glad that _someone_ changed the subject. "I'll just use the Master Emerald."

"Great," said Matthew.

Knuckles closed his eyes and put his hand on the Master Emerald. It started glowing. Knuckles saw a vision of a cave where an evil creature dwelled. Next, he saw a bridge where people got thrown off if they said something wrong. After that, he saw a castle and a glowing image of the Grail.

"Okay," said Knuckles. "I got it. Looks like the Grail's in Ticktockia."

"Ticktockia?" said Lovino. "We have to go _there_?"

"Yes, Four Eyes," said Knuckles. "But there are a few obstacles you'll have to face before getting there."

"Like what?" asked Feliciano.

"First, you have through a cave which is being guarded by a monster," said Knuckles.

"Like, what next?" asked Feliks.

"Next, you have to cross the Bridge of Death," said Knuckles.

"B-B-Bridge of D-D-Death?" said Toris.

"Isn't there a safer route?" asked Katyusha.

"No, I'm afraid not," Knuckles replied.

"Aren't you forgetting the mountain trail?" asked Amy.

"Sorry, Amy, but it's blocked," said Sonic. "The way Knuckles suggested is the only way."

"Dammit!" said Amy.

"Why don't you come with us, Knuckles?" asked Gilbert. "We could use you."

Knuckles sighed. "That's what your dad asked me. I can't, Gilbert. I'm sorry."

"But..." said Ludwig. "You're the only one who knows the way."

"Believe me, I want to, but I have to stay here and guard the Master Emerald," said Knuckles. "It's my duty."

"Hey, Knuckles, I can build a security system for you," said Tails. "That way you can come with us and won't have to worry about the Master Emerald."

Knuckles smiled. "Thanks, Tails. That'll be great!"

"Good," said Sonic.

"Wait," said Knuckles. "What about Rouge?"

"What about her?" asked Sonic.

"Won't she try and take the Master Emerald?" asked a worried Knuckles.

"Don't worry about her," said Tails. He was currently getting the stuff ready for Knuckles' new security system. "She won't be able to get past it without getting electrocuted, thanks to my new security system."

"Is that really necessary, Tails?" asked Amy.

"Yeah, Amy," said Tails. "I invented it so Knuckles could have more free time."

* * *

Later, the Mobius, Suujiku and Warnerstock groups were hiding in a bush. They were testing out Tails' newly built security system.

"Here she comes," said Tails. He indicated a female bat wearing a black bodysuit, white gloves and matching white boots. This was Rouge the Bat.

Rouge saw that Knuckles wasn't around the Master Emerald. "Ah. Perfect. I'll just take the Master Emerald and...AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Rouge had tried to touch the emerald, but had gotten electrocuted.

"Victory!" Tails exclaimed. He and the rest of the group all jumped out of the bush.

"Alright, Rouge, you've been caught red-handed," said Knuckles.

"How the heck did that happen?" asked a still-getting-over-being-electrocuted Rouge.

"Not telling you," Sonic said in a mocking tone.

"Hey, why don't we go with these guys and bring her along?" Amy whispered to Sonic, Knuckles and Tails. "She could come in handy."

"No, no, no," said Knuckles. "No way in the world, no way in Hell..."

"Knuckles, come on," said Amy. "Think about it: She won't be able to figure out how to disable Tails' security system while we're gone. And we'll probably need her."

"Oh, alright," said Knuckles.

"Alright, we're all coming with you," said Sonic. "And Rouge, you're coming, too."

"That's great!" said Gilbert.

"What?" asked a surprised Rouge. "But why?"

"Because we don't trust you while we're away," said Knuckles.

"Okay, Knucky-poo," said Rouge. She wrapped one arm around Knuckles' shoulders.

"Get. Your. Arm. Off. Me," said Knuckles. His eyebrow was twitching.

"Fine," said a disappointed Rouge. She took her arm off Knuckles.

"Alright," said Roderich. "We leave tomorrow."

"Right," said Gilbert and Ludwig.

* * *

Later that night, everyone got ready to get a good night's rest for the long days ahead of them.

"Sweet bed," Roderich said quietly as Elizabeta lay next to him.


	18. Train Tracks Are Not A Bridge

**Chapter 17: Train Tracks Are Not A Bridge**

The next day, everyone got their bags together. Roderich got his keys so he could start his newly repaired car. Before he could even get the keys in, Tails stopped him.

"Actually, you won't need this thing," the fox said.

"What do you mean?" asked Roderich.

"According to Knuckles, the way we're about to take is too difficult to get across by car," said Tails.

"You're going by what a stupid anteater says?" Roderich said.

"I'M NOT STUPID!" Knuckles yelled at the teen.

"And he's an echidna," said Amy.

"Actually, Amy, an echidna's a _type_ of anteater," said Sonic. "So Knuckles is an anteater."

"Is that true" Amy asked Knuckles.

"Yes, Amy, echidnas are a type of anteater," said Knuckles. "Now can we get on with this quest?"

"Okay," said Amy.

Everyone started walking out of town after Tails assured Roderich that his car would be safe.

* * *

"Rouge, get off my back!" Knuckles shouted.

"But Knucky-pooooo, I'm tirrrrrrred," Rouge whined.

"Get off!"

"Noooo."

"Gee, Rouge is just like Roderich," Vash said to Gilbert and Ludwig.

"You said it," the boys replied.

"Hey!" said Roderich.

"That's it," said Knuckles. He threw Rouge off his back. "There. Now you can't make me piggyback ride you."

"Ah, dammit," said Rouge.

"Will you guys stop it?" said Tails.

"Yeah, aru," said Yao. He took out a couple bags of chips. "Why don't you chow down and calm down?"

"We don't want any!" said Rouge and Knuckles.

Lovino inched closer to Rouge and Knuckles. "_You two _seem to get along."

Knuckles flushed with embarrassment and disgust. "What exactly are you implying, Lovino?"

"Are you two...lovers?" Lovino asked.

"Hell no!" said Knuckles.

"Why yes," said Rouge. She was clinging to Knuckles. "We're going steady."

"No we're not!" said Knuckles. He got out of Rouge's grip.

"Suuuure," Lovino said sarcastically.

"Oh come on," said a naked Francis. "You don't need to deny l'amour, Knuckles."

"I'm not!" said Knuckles. "I don't like her! And will you put some clothes on?"

"But it's such a wondrous joy to be naked," said Francis. He started running around and singing. _**"It's a naked, naaaked world!"**_

Roderich covered Gilbert and Ludwig's eyes. "Francis Bonnefoy, get back here, and put your clothes back on!"

"Roddy, take your hands off," said Gilbert.

"No," said Roderich. "Francis is naked!"

"Never mind...keep your hands on my eyes," said Gilbert.

Knuckles punched Francis in the stomach. "Put your damn clothes back on, moron! This isn't a nudist colony!"

"Okay, okay," Francis said, holding his hands up in surrender. He walked behind a bush and put his clothes back on. "I don't see what the big deal is. You and _your_ friends walk around naked all the time."

"That's 'cause we're animals," said Knuckles. "We're not meant to wear clothes. The only reason Amy and Rouge dress the way they do is so others can tell them apart from males."

"Oh," said Francis. "But still, it's such a joy to be naked, non?"

"NO, IT'S NOT!" everyone yelled.

"Okay, okay, I'll keep my clothes on," said Francis. "I won't streak anymore."

"Good," said Arthur.

The group started walking again. Francis still had his clothes on, and he didn't try and streak again as promised.

* * *

After about an hour or so, they decided to take a rest.

"How much longer till we get to that cave, aru?" asked an impatient Yao.

"Shouldn't be too long," said Knuckles. "It's only a one-day walk from here."

"Francis, Tony, look!" Gilbert said excitedly. "A bridge!" He was pointing to train tracks.

"Cool!" said Antonio. He, Francis and Gilbert all ran to the tracks and jumped on them in single file. Gilbert was in front, Antonio was in the middle, and Francis was bringing up the rear. Ludwig, Feliciano and Kiku saw the Bad Friends Trio and decided to join in, along with Alfred, Matthew, Feliks, Toris, and the Warners.

"Come on, let's play train," said Gilbert.

"Wait a minute you guys," said Elizabeta. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Lizzie, _relax_," said Gilbert. "Everybody ready?"

"Dot's the caboose," said Ludwig. Dot pouted, because she wanted to be in the very front.

"All aboard!" Gilbert shouted. He and the other kids started walking along the tracks, making train noises.

The rest of the group started following the kids, trying to get them off.

"I think this is a bad idea," said Roderich.

"For once, I agree with you, Roderich," said Vash.

"Clickity-clickity-clickity," Gilbert continued. "Clickity. Woo-woo!"

"We really should get off here before-" Tails began. He was interrupted by the sound of an oncoming train.

"Oh no!" Elizabeta said as she and the others saw a train coming right towards them.

"Don't panic," said Vash. "Down underneath here." He and the rest of the group ducked under the tracks and out of the way of the train. Everyone held on for dear life as the train passed over them.

When the train passed, everything was quiet again. Everyone poked their heads up to see if the coast was clear.

"Boy, that was close," said Katyusha.

"Yeah," said Yao. "Aiyaa."

"What were you stupid idiots thinking?" Roderich yelled at the kids.

"W-We're sorry, Roddy," Ludwig said.

"It was just a little fun," said Gilbert.

"You could've gotten yourselves killed!" said Roderich.

"We're sorry," the children said.

"You could've gotten _all of us _killed," said Ivan.

"Ivan, Gilbert and Ludwig are _my_ cousins, and _I_ will scold them, not you," said Roderich.

"Uh, Roddy, I did a head count," Elizabeta said nervously. "We're one person short."

"Who?" asked Roderich.

"Sonic!" said Elizabeta.

"What?" Roderich exclaimed.

"Where the bloody hell did he go?" said Arthur.

"Guys..." Matthew said. "Look. I found him." He was pointing to a river that was right under the train tracks.

The group found Sonic desperately trying to keep his head above the water,

"Help!" the blue hedgehog shouted frantically as he tried in vain to swim.

"Oh no!" said Amy. "Sonic can't swim!"

"I'm coming, Sonic!" Knuckles called, ready to jump in and save his friend.

"No, Knuckles, we may need you here," said Roderich. He then started taking his clothes off.

"Roddykins, this isn't the time to act like Francis," said Elizabeta.

"I'm not acting like Francis," said Roderich. "I'm going in and saving Sonic. And, for your information, I don't want my clothes getting wet." He threw off his socks and got ready to jump. "Keep your head up, Sonic! Here I come!" Roderich then jumped off the tracks and into the river.

Roderich started swimming after Sonic. A few minutes later, he was finally able to save Sonic and grabbed onto a floating log so the two of them wouldn't drown.

Elizabeta followed them closely to see where Roderich and Sonic were. They finally saw the Austrian and the blue hedgehog holding onto the log.

"Roddy! Roddykins, up here!" Elizabeta called to her boyfriend.

Roderich threw Sonic to Elizabeta, who caught him.

The others finally caught up to Elizabeta and saw that she had Sonic with her. When they reached her, Elizabeta handed Sonic over to Katyusha and went to go after Roderich.

"Thank goodness you're alright, Sonic!" Amy practically screamed as she glomped the hedgehog.

"Amy, take it easy," said Sonic.

"Boy, Sonic, you're such a klutz," Rouge commented rudely. Sonic just stuck his tongue out at Rouge.

"I'm gonna go help Roddykins," said Gilbert. He ran in Elizabeta's direction.

"Wait for me," said Ludwig as he, too ran after Elizabeta.

Gilbert and Ludwig were standing next to Elizabeta when they saw Roderich lying on the log, looking relaxed.

"Roddykins!" said Elizabeta. "Don't worry, we'll save you!"

"Oh, don't worry about me, Lizzie," Roderich said calmly. He yawned contentedly. "I'm alright; I'm just gonna lounge on this log. I'll see you guys down the river." He floated away.

"Uh...okay..." said a confused Elizabeta. She, Gilbert and Ludwig then went back and told the others what was going on, while Roderich was just relaxing on the log, his eyes closed, and floated with the steady current.

* * *

"Ah, blissful relaxation," Roderich said to himself. He was happy to get at least _some_ time to himself before having to travel again.


	19. New Teammates

**Author's Note: **Hey, everyone, sorry for the long wait. School and life got in the way.

* * *

**Chapter 18: New Teammates**

"Ah, blissful relaxation," Roderich said to himself. He was happy to get at least _some_ time to himself before having to travel again.

* * *

Five children were walking along the banks of the river. Their names were Layfon Alseif, Harley Sutton, Sharnid Lipton, Nina Antalk (Roderich, Gilbert and Ludwig's cousin), and Felli Loss. They were all carrying fishing poles and some other stuff.

"Guys, I'm getting tired," Sharnid whined. "Can we stop for a bit?"

"No, Sharnid," Nina replied.

"Yeah, we've gotta find a good spot," said Layfon.

Just then, Felli's eyes became wide. "Guys, there's someone floating somewhere!"

"What?" said Harley. "Where?"

Felli pointed in the direction of Roderich and his log. "That way."

The other children dropped their stuff and ran to where Felli pointed. There, they saw Roderich on the log, relaxing with his eyes closed peacefully.

"Roddy?" Nina said.

"You know him?" Sharnid, the idiot of the group, asked.

Harley and Nina sighed at their friend.

"Yeah, of course I know him," said Nina. "Remember? Roddy's my cousin, dummy."

"We've gotta get him outta there!" Harley said frantically.

Layfon just took a glance at Roderich. "He looks fine to me."

Harley, Sharnid and Felli didn't listen.

"Hey, Roddy!" said Felli.

"Roddy!" said Harley. "We saw you on that log."

"Huh?" Roderich said, confused at what was going on. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Don't worry, we're here to help you," said Sharnid.

"Back off, kids," said Roderich. "I'm fine."

"First, you must gain confidence by going into the water," said Felli.

"Will you morons go away?" asked an irate Roderich. The kids were trying to either flip the log over, or pull Roddy off it.

"Guys!" Nina yelled.

"Cut it out!" said Layfon.

"You'll never learn to swim properly by sitting on that log," Sharnid scolded.

"I already know how to swim," said Roderich.

"Riiiight," Sharnid said sarcastically. "And I'm the Queen of Suujiku. Harley, Felli, flip it."

"Right," said Harley.

"Here we go," said Felli.

"Don't do that!" Roderich shouted. He screamed and went under water when Felli and Harley flipped his log over.

Roderich's head came above water. "You-!" He wasn't very happy with his cousin's friends. "That was my happy time log! You imbeciles!"

Elizabeta, Vash and the kids came running up, just as Nina and her friends were helping an angry Roderich out of the water.

"Roddykins, thank God you're okay," Elizabeta said with relief.

"Can I help you, Roddy, huh?" Ludwig asked.

"Help?" said Roderich. He spit out some water. "I've had all the help I can take...and I lost my happy time log! Waaaaaahhhhh!"

Gilbert went up to Roderich. "I'm sorry, Roddykins."

"Harley, Sharnid and Felli didn't mean it," Nina said apologetically. She turned to her friends. "Did you?"

"Uh, no," Harley, Sharnid and Felli said in unison.

"Thanks, Nina," said Roderich. He smiled at his cousin.

"Hey, Nina!" Gilbert and Ludwig said excitedly at the same time. They tackled Nina to the ground, and the three laughed.

"How are you guys?" Nina asked when they got up. She then saw Feliks and Toris standing next to Ludwig. Unfortunately, she didn't get their genders correct. "Lui, you're such a little pimp." She chuckled. "Well, who are your girlfriends?"

"Like, Liet and I are boys," Feliks said in annoyance. The Polish child sighed. "I know, I know I look like a total girl."

"Yeah, Nina," said Ludwig. "This is Feliks, remember?"

"Oh," an embarrassed Nina replied. "Sorry, I thought it was his sister, or something."

"Big Sis is at home," said Feliks.

"And Gilbo's a pimp," Ludwig said. "Not me, silly."

"Hey," Gilbert whined.

"It's true!" said Ludwig. "Girls are always hanging on him at school, so he's always hiding behind Francis and Tony...and they're pimps, too."

"Uh..." Layfon said, wanting to change the subject from pimps to something else. "What are you guys doing here?"

"God told us to look for the Holy Grail and bring it back to Suujiku," Gilbert replied.

"The Grail?" Nina asked in surprise. "What happened?"

"It got stolen," Ludwig said. "And Daddy and some other men from the village went to look for it, but they didn't come back."

"Oh," Nina said, looking down. "Would you like us to help you?"

"A-Actually, we're fine with-" Roderich started, but was cut off by Gilbert.

"Sure!" Gilbert exclaimed. "That'd be great!"

"Yeah," said Antonio. "The more help, the better."

"Hey, wait!" Roderich whined. "I'm the boss here, not you, Gilbert Beilschmidt."

"Not anymore," Gilbert said mockingly. "'Sides, who died and made you boss, huh?"

Roderich was going to say something, but decided not to, since he'd be stooping to Gilbert's level. Roderich was 18, and Gilbert was 10. Roddy wasn't going to let a little 10-year-old _child_ get the best of him, no way!

"Then it's settled," Vash said. "We've got more people."

"Let's keep going," Knuckles said to the group.

"Okay," the others replied. They followed Knuckles on the way to the Cave of the Unknown Monster.

* * *

"What kind of monster guards the Cave of the Unknown Monster anyway, Knuckles?" Gilbert asked the red echidna.

"I'm not really sure," said Knuckles. "The vision wasn't very specific."

"We've all heard stories," said Sonic.

"Yeah, but nobody knows exactly what's in that scary cave," said Amy.

"If anyone knew what the monster was, then the cave wouldn't be called the Cave of the Unknown Monster," Lovino said to the elder Beilschmidt brother.

"Oh..." Gilbert said, now uneasy about the whole cave thing as he and the others continued their trek to their upcoming destination.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Oh, the new members of their group—Layfon, Nina, Harley, Sharnid and Felli—are from the anime _Chrome Shelled Regios_.

As for how old they are in this story:

Nina-6

Layfon-7

Harley-6

Felli-6

Sharnid-7


	20. How To Eat Sheet Music

**Chapter 19: How To Eat Sheet Music**

After a few hours of traveling, the kids decided to make camp. That's when Toris and Lovino discovered that they didn't have much food left!

"Oh no," Toris groaned.

_"Che palle!" _said Lovino. he threw down the backpack of the meager food amount. "Who ate most of the food?" Then Lovino turned to Ludwig. "Was it you, Mudgig?"

"That's not my name," Ludwig whined. He clung to Gilbert, who glared at the Italian.

"West didn't eat the food all by himself, idiot!" said Gilbert. "All of us ate it."

Lovino pouted when he saw that he had lost the fight.

"Well, like, what do we do now?" Feliks asked.

"Everyone become one with Mother Russia, and you'll all get an abundance of-" Ivan began to say, but was cut off by a defensive Feliks.

"Like, nobody's gonna be one with your people," said Feliks.

Ivan groaned and sat down next to his sisters, mainly hiding behind Katyusha so Natalia didn't get him.

"Great," Sonic whined. "What are we supposed to eat? I'm starving."

"Don't worry, Sonic," said Tails. "We'll think of something."

"There's gotta be something to eat in these woods," said Matthew. He hugged Kumajirou.

"Who are you?" asked Kumajirou.

"I'm Matthew, your owner," said Matthew.

"Let's go hunting!" Alfred said excitedly. He grabbed Matthew's arm, and marched off to find food.

"Oh, wait, that's not necessary," said Gilbert. "Roddykins has something in his bag." He fished through Roderich's bag.

Nina glared at Roderich. "You've been hiding food in there?"

"No, I haven't," said Roderich.

"Sure you do," said Gilbert. "Right here." As Roderich protested, the boy pulled out a bunch of papers.

"You expect us to eat paper?" Sharnid asked.

"Well, what else can we eat?" said Gilbert.

"You know, he's got a point," said Harley. "The odds of finding wild animals out here aren't very good."

"Don't even think about eating my sheet music!" Roderich yelled.

"Here, there's plenty for everyone," said Gilbert. He handed everyone some sheet music.

"Aaaahhh! Lizzie! Don't put Chopin in a hot dog bun!" said Roderich. "Rouge! Stop making Wagner into a sandwich! GAH! Vash, stop putting sherbet on Schubert! AAAAHHHHH! Gilbo, stop! Yakko! Stop making Beethoven burgers! Lui, don't you dare eat that burger! Don't you know Beethoven had the same given name as you? Knuckles, I'm surprised at you! Don't put Berlioz in your salad! Gilbo, put that Beetho-burger down! No, Harley! You must never put mustard on Mozart! Ivan, Natalia, Katyusha, don't eat Tchaikovskiiiiiiiiiiiii! Kiku, don't make Lizst into a sushi roll! Nooooooooo! Al, Iggy, Mattie, stooooooooooop! Guys, cut it ouuuuuuuut!"

"Oh, Roddy, shut up," said Elizabeta. She shoved a Beetho-burger in her boyfriend's mouth.

Roderich swallowed. "You know, I bet these guys are rolling around in their graves right now, you imbeciles!"

* * *

Meanwhile, in Heaven's lounge, various guys were sitting on the couch, watching the footage of the kids on a plasma TV.

"Would you look at this?" Beethoven shouted, his face beet red. "Those brats are eating our music!"

Mozart looked from the TV and stopped smoking his joint. "Hey, dude, chillax."

"Don't you tell me to chillax, Wolfman!" Beethoven yelled.

"Hey, shut up, Wigwag!" said Mozart.

"Don't call me Wigwag! I hate that!" Beethoven shouted.

"Well, I hate being called Wolfman!" said Mozart. "I'm not some creature in a horror film!"

"I was better than you anyway!" said Beethoven.

Lizst was trying to watch the TV. "Will you two shut up? I'm trying to watch the show."

"Hey, at least I didn't go deaf before I could hear my last piece!" Mozart said.

"Oh, bringing that up, huh?" Beethoven retorted childishly. He got in Mozart's face. "At least I didn't die while writing one of my pieces!"

"Guys, cut it out," said Chopin, acting as peacemaker. But he got trampled by the two squabbling composers.

"Woah, you okay, man?" Berlioz asked, helping the trampled composer up.

"Yeah, I'm fine," said Chopin.

Tchaikovski butted in. He took Beethoven and Mozart and conked their heads together. "Will you two shut the hell up? Everyone's trying to watch TV here."

"Fine," Beethoven and Mozart said. They stuck their tongues out at each other, and Mozart gave Beethoven the finger.

"Those guys are so immature," said Schubert, shaking his head as he sat back and ate from a bowl of popcorn.

* * *

Roderich's sheet music was all gone. Roddy was lying on the ground, looking depressed. "My sheet music..."

"Don't worry, Roddykins," said Elizabeta. "Those are copies you bought. We'll buy more once we get back to school. Besides, they're not that expensive."

Roderich sniffed. "Okay, Lizzie."

"There, there," said Elizabeta. She put an arm around Roderich.

Vash rolled his eyes. "What a baby."

Elizabeta shot a glare at Vash. "Shut up, Vash."

* * *

**Author's Note: **_Che palle: _That sucks


	21. Skeleton Ameisenbär!

**Chapter 20: Skeleton Ameisenbär!**

The next day, the kids got up and packed up their supplies, ready to move on to the Cave of the Unknown Monster.

"Are we there yet?" Alfred asked.

"No," said Knuckles.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No!" Knuckles slashed at Alfred, almost cutting some of the boy's hair.

"Wow, that's amazing! Perfect aim!" Alfred exclaimed in amazement.

"What are you talking about?" Knuckles said irritably. "I missed."

Alfred gulped.

"Al, will you quit being a bloody git?" Arthur said.

"Sorry, Iggy," said Alfred.

* * *

_Some time later..._

"Good news, everybody," Knuckles said, smiling at the kids and his friends. "We're almost there. Won't be long now."

"Awesome!" Gilbert exclaimed.

"Finally," said Roderich. "I'm getting tired of walking."

"Roddy, stop being lazy," said Ludwig.

"Shut up, LuLu," Roderich retorted childishly.

"Lizzie, he called me LuLu!" Ludwig whined.

"Will the both of you stop?" said an exasperated Elizabeta.

"What are you guys fighting about?" asked a girl with pink hair and dull gray eyes, clad in a black robe. This girl wore a monotone expression on her face that was very unlike any other twelve-to-fourteen-year-old child.

"This is none of your business, little girl," said Roderich. "This concerns me and my idiot cousin, Mudgig."

"My fucking name's not Mudgig! It's Ludwig! L-U-D-W-I-G! Get it right, motherfucker!" Ludwig shouted, getting in Roderich's face.

"Colorful vocabulary, Lui," Nina said with a chuckle.

"Please, don't fight," said the pink-haired girl. "I don't think I can deal with fighting right now."

"Then go away," said Roderich.

"That's not nice!" said Katyusha. She turned and spoke to the girl. "My name's Katyusha Braginski. What's your name?"

"Crona," the girl replied.

"What are you doing around here, Crona?" Amy asked.

"A talking pink hedgehog!" Crona said, backing away from Amy and hiding behind Katyusha. "I don't think I can deal with that right now!"

"Relax, I'm not gonna hurt you," said Amy.

"Guys, we have to keep moving," said Knuckles.

"Oh, right," said Amy. She and the others headed for the Cave of the Unknown Monster.

"Hey, Crona, why don't you come with us?" asked Harley.

"Uh, okay," Crona replied. She followed the kids to their destination.

* * *

The kids arrived at the cave.

"Aaaaahhhh! A dark cave with unknown things in it! I don't think I can deal with that right now!" said Crona.

"Nothing in there's gonna hurt you," said an annoyed Sonic.

"Come on," said Knuckles. He was gritting his teeth and clenching his fists to keep from attacking Crona.

Once in the cave, everyone had to stay close for fear of getting separated in this place. Ludwig grabbed on tight to both Roderich and Gilbert's hands, with absolutely no intention of letting go any time soon. Amy and Tails held onto Sonic, while Rouge climbed on Knuckles' back again. Vash and Elizabeta ended up having to hold hands, and Crona held onto Katyusha, who was holding onto Ivan and Natalia. Feliks and Toris clung to each other, as did the Vargas and Jones brothers, and even the Honda brothers, and Francis and Antonio (mainly because Tony wanted to keep Francis from trying to touch Roddy's butt). Nina, Harley, Sharnid, Felli and Layfon were holding onto each other as well.

"I wonder if we'll get to see what kind of monster lives in this cave," Gilbert said.

"Me, too," said Alfred.

"Me three," said Sharnid.

"I hope we don't," Roderich and Yao said in unison.

"Protect me, Brother. I'm scared," said Natalia.

"Don't worry, Natalia," said Ivan. "Katyusha and I will protect you."

"Yeah. Your big brother and sister are here," said Katyusha.

"Like, don't worry Liet. I'll totally protect you from the cave monster," said Feliks.

"Thanks, Feliks," Toris replied.

"Don't be scared, Knuckles," said Rouge.

"I'm not scared," said Knuckles.

"Then how come your knees are shaking?" Rouge asked teasingly.

"Those are _your_ knees, Rouge," said Knuckles. "And will you get off my back? I'm not your donkey."

"But Knucky-pooooo—" Rouge whined.

"Quiet! I heard something!" said Lovino.

Soon, all the kids could hear the sound of something growling behind them.

"I'm scared, Tony," Francis said.

"Me, too," said Antonio.

"Don't worry,' Gilbert said to Ludwig. "Your awesome big brother will protect you from—" Gilbert turned around, ready to fight, when he saw a skeleton of an anteater snarling and glaring at him! "Skeleton anteater!"

"Shit!" said Knuckles. "I've got it." He punched the anteater, and the bones scattered all over the place.

"That wasn't pretty," said Tails.

"You can say that again," Layfon said, looking at the scattered skeleton.

"But it had to be done," said Sonic.

but the anteater didn't stay down for long; it started to regenerate, causing the others to get really scared.

"Oh no, the anteater's coming back to life! I don't think I can deal with that right now!" said Crona.

"Shut up, Crona!" said Arthur.

"Guys...ruuuuuuuunnnnnn!" Vash shouted.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" the whole group screamed. They started running from the anteater.

_**Micchu Pachu is a-gonna get you**_

_**A ghostly, ghastly anteater**_

_**Micchu Pachu is a-gonna eat you for breakfast, lunch and dinner**_

The kids continued running and ended up bumping into the anteater, all the while listening to Crona's annoying "I don't think I can deal with that right now!"

_**He's over here, he's over there, the anteater is everywhere**_

_**Look out! Don't you shout!**_

_**He's up and down, he's all around**_

_**You cannot hide 'cause you'll be found, no doubt**_

_**You better shout!**_

Gilbert screamed as he, Roderich and Ludwig clung to each other.

"I don't think I can deal with this!" said Crona.

The kids continued running, trying to evade the scary anteater.

_**Micchu Pachu is a-gonna get you**_

_**A ghostly, ghastly anteater**_

_**Micchu Pachu is a-gonna eat you**_

_**For breakfast, lunch and dinner**_

_**A ghostly, ghastly anteater**_

* * *

The kids finally made it out of the cave.

"That...that was...close," said Knuckles.

"Yeah..." said Sonic.

"Wait a minute," said Roderich. "We're one short."

"Who?" Toris asked.

"Yeah, who?" Felli asked.

"Crona!" said Vash.

Crona's voice was heard from inside the cave. _"Hello? Guys? Get me out of here. I don't think I can deal with being in a dark cave all by myself. Anyone? Hello?"_

"Oh no!" said Matthew.

"Don't worry, Crona!" Alfred called. "The hero's coming!" He was running to the cave, and stopped when he heard the anteater growling loudly and Crona screaming. "Oh no...it got her. Some hero I am, huh?"

Arthur went over and led Alfred back over to the others. "It's okay, Al. You did your best."

"Let's just go," said a very scared Elizabeta.

"Right," everyone else agreed. They all walked away from the cave, shaken up from their ordeal in the Cave of the Unknown Monster.

"Where are we headed now?" Kiku asked Knuckles.

"The Bridge of Death," said Knuckles.

* * *

**Author's Note: **"Skeleton Ameisenbär" is German for "Skeleton Anteater".


	22. The Bridge of Death

**Chapter 21: The Bridge of Death**

Even though they all felt a little bad about losing Crona, the kids realized that what was most important was getting the Holy Grail. So they continued on their way.

* * *

After a while, the kids saw a rickety old bridge over a gorge in the distance.

"That bridge looks scary," Ludwig said to his brother and cousin.

"Don't worry," said Gilbert. "The awesome me won't let that bridge hurt you."

"Is that the Bridge of Death?" Elizabeta asked.

"Yes," Knuckles replied.

Just then, Ivan spotted two figures standing in front of the bridge. "Who are they?" He pointed to the figures, who were a man who appeared to be a ghost with a skull face and a teenage boy with black hair and three white stripes on the left side of his head. The boy was wearing a black suit, and he looked annoyed.

"Oh, them?" asked Knuckes. "The man with the skull face is Lord Death, and the boy next to him is his son, Death the Kid."

"Like, what do they do?" Feliks asked.

"Lord Death is the bridge-keeper," Knuckles answered Feliks' question. "He guards the bridge. He asks each traveler three questions. If you can answer all three of these questions correctly, you may cross safely. He must have brought his son out with him to teach him how to guard the bridge."

"What happens if you get a question wrong, aru?" asked Yao.

"Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril," said Knuckles.

The kids shuddered.

"Well, it's no problem for me," Rouge bragged. "I could just fly across."

"Sorry, but the Bridge of Death is a no-fly zone," said Knuckles.

"Well, one of us is going to have to try it out," said Vash. "Just to make sure it's safe."

"Right," said Knuckles.

"Well, who's gonna do it?" Roderich asked.

"I can do it!" Gilbert said.

"No way!" said Roderich. "I'm not putting you in danger again!"

"Why don't I go first?" Arthur suggested.

"Okay," Roderich said.

Arthur walked away from the others and towards the Bridge of Death.

"Good luck, Arthur," the others said.

* * *

Lord Death and Death the Kid were standing in front of the bridge.

"Hey, Dad, look," Kid said. He pointed towards Arthur. "Someone's coming."

"Ah," said Lord Death. "A traveler. Watch and learn, son. You're going to have to do this someday." He spoke to Arthur. "Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions thee, 'ere the other side he see."

"Ask me the questions, Bridge-keeper. I'm not afraid," said Arthur.

"What is your name?" Lord Death asked.

"My name is Arthur Jones of Hetalia Falls in Suujiku," Arthur replied.

"What is your quest?" asked Lord Death.

"To seek the Holy Grail and return it to Suujiku," said Arthur.

"What is your favorite color?" Lord Death asked.

"Green," was Arthur's answer.

"Right. Off you go," said Lord Death. He and Kid stepped aside and let Arthur pass.

"Oh, thank you. Thank you very much," said Arthur.

* * *

The others watched Arthur safely cross the bridge.

"That's easy!" said Sharnid. He and the other kids went up to the bridge.

"Okay, son," said Lord Death. "You try."

"Okay," said Kid. He turned and spoke to Sharnid. "Stop! Who approaches the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see."

Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper," said Sharnid. "I'm not afraid."

"What is your name?" asked Kid.

"Sharnid Elipton of Zuellni," Sharnid replied.

"What is your quest?" Kid asked.

"To seek the Holy Grail and return it to Suujiku," said Sharnid.

"What is the capital of Assyria?" Kid asked with a grin.

"Ooh, good one, Kid," Lord Death said quietly.

"I don't know that," Sharnid said in surprise. "AAAAAHHHHHHHH!" The boy flew through the air and landed in the Gorge of Eternal Peril.

"Oh no," said Nina. "Sharnid..."

"Good job, son," Lord Death praised Kid.

"Thanks, Dad," said Kid.

"How about you have another go?" said Lord Death.

Amy went up.

"Stop! What is your name?" Kid asked.

"Amy Rose of Mobius," said Amy.

"What is your quest?" asked Kid.

"I seek to return the Holy Grail to Suujiku," said Amy.

"What is your favorite color?" Kid asked.

"Green...no, PIIIIIIIIIINK!" Amy said as she was thrown through the air and into the gorge.

"Oh my God! Amy!" said Tails.

"Uh, not that this isn't fun, but I'm just gonna go fly across," said Rouge.

"Rouge, come back here!" said Knuckles.

Rouge flew until Lord Death knocked her down.

"Sorry, but this is a no-fly zone," said Lord Death.

"Ah, darn it!" said Rouge.

"What is your names?" Lord Death asked.

"I was just moving to the back of the line," said Rouge.

"Oh, okay," said Lord Death. Sonic was up next. "What is your name?"

"Sonic the Hedgehog of Mobius," said Sonic.

"What is your quest?" Lord Death asked.

"To seek the Holy Grail and return it to Suujiku," said Sonic.

"Is Chris Thorndyke stupid?" asked Lord Death.

"Honestly...yes," Sonic said.

"Okay, off you go," said Lord Death.

Sonic crossed safely. Alfred got ready to go next, but Dot pushed past him.

"Ladies first, and that means me," said Dot. She skipped over to the bridge.

"If she's a lady, I'm a Vermicious Knid," Alfred whispered to Matthew.

"Stop! Who approaches the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other...huh?" Lord Death said, then noticed that Dot disappeared.

Dot was talking to Kid, who was clearly uncomfortable around her. "Are you available?"

"No," said Kid. "Not to you. You're not my type. Now get back over there, and answer my father's questions."

"Man," said Dot. She walked back over to Lord Death.

"Now, what is your name?" asked Lord Death.

"Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bo Besca the Third," said Dot.

"AAAHHHHH!" Harley and Felli screamed while holding their heads.

"Too long!" said Kid. "Can I throw her over, please?"

"No, son," said Lord Death. "What is your quest?"

"To make the world realize I'm cuuute," said Dot. "AAAAHHHHHHH!" She got thrown into the gorge.

"Mom's gonna kill me," said Yakko.

Roderich was up next, only because he still wouldn't let Gilbert and Ludwig go over to Lord Death and Kid.

"Stop!" said Kid. "What is your name?"

"Roderich Edelstein of Hetalia Falls in Suujiku," said Roderich.

"What is your quest?" asked Kid.

"To seek the Grail and return it to Suujiku," said Roderich.

"What is the name of the lead singer of Green Day?" asked Kid.

"Uh...let's see...um...Robert Schumann?" said Roderich. "AAAAHHHHHHH!" He got thrown over and into the gorge.

"Roddy!" Ludwig and Elizabeta cried.

Gilbert was the next to go up.

"Stop! What is your name?" asked Lord Death.

"Gilbert Beilschmidt of Hetalia Falls in Suujiku," said Gilbert.

"Like the great Germania Beilschmidt?" asked Kid.

"Yeah," said Gilbert. "I'm his grandson."

"Kid, I'm asking questions," said Lord Death.

"Sorry, Dad," said Kid.

"What is your quest?" Lord Death asked Gilbert.

"To seek the Grail and return it to Suujiku," Gilbert replied.

"What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?" Lord Death asked.

"What do you mean?" asked Gilbert. "An African or a European swallow?"

"Uh...I don't know that," said Lord Death. "AAAAHHHHHHH!" He got thrown into the gorge!

"Dad!" Kid exclaimed. He looked down into the gorge. "Dad!" Then he got upset, and the kids crossed the bridge one by one.

Gilbert stopped and put a hand on Kid's shoulder. "Sorry about your dad, man." Then he went across the bridge with his brother and the others.

* * *

"How do you know so much about swallows?" Matthew asked.

"Well, you have to know these things when you're a Beilschmidt, you know," said Gilbert. "Right, West?"

"Yup," said Ludwig.

"Single file on the bridge!" said Vash. "Step very cautiously! This bridge is full of rotted planks. One false move, and you could fall over. Then you'll have a long time to wave goodbye."

"Feliks, I'm scared," said Toris.

"Like, don't worry, Liet," said Feliks. "I won't let you fall."

"Don't you worry, Knucky-poo," said Rouge. "I was on a bridge like this in Britannia that was as steady as a rock. See?" She started to rock the bridge back and forth, scaring everyone.

"Stop that! Rouge, stop!" said Tails.

"Gilbo, help!" Ludwig yelled. He was hanging onto the side of the bridge for dear life, about to fall.

"I've gotcha, West!" Gilbert shouted. He grabbed Ludwig's hands and held on, then fell over when the shaking continued.

Gilbert and Ludwig screamed hysterically as they fell.

"Oh no!" Elizabeta said. "Gilbo, Lui, no!"

* * *

Gilbert and Ludwig landed in the gorge very roughly. They were knocked out by the impact.

Roderich saw the boys and ran over to them. "Gilbo! Lui! Oh no. No, no, no. Wake up!"

Lord Death came up to Roderich. "They're not dead. Just knocked out."

"That's a relief," Roderich said.

Dot, Amy and Sharnid came over as well.

"Whoa, are they okay?" Amy asked.

"Yeah," said Lord Death. "They're just knocked out." Then he looked at Roderich. "I suggest that you get yourself and everyone else out of here."

"Why?" Roderich asked as he picked his cousins up off the ground. he put Ludwig on his back and held Gilbert in his arms.

"Because there are some dangerous creatures around here," Lord Death replied. "They could eat all of you."

"They won't eat _me_," Dot said. "I'm too cute to eat."

Amy rolled her eyes. "Right..."

Lord Death became annoyed, although nobody could see the look of annoyance he had behind that mask of his. "No one is "too cute" for the monsters of this part to eat. You'll be eaten, just like the other people with you."

"Man!" Dot whined.

"Besides, the badger that we ran into down here didn't seem to think you were cute at all," said Sharnid.

"Shut up, Mr. Idiothead," said a still-pouting Dot.

"Hey, I'm just telling the truth here," said Sharnid.

Elizabeta, Vash and the other kids came running down to the gorge, Kid included. Kid was overjoyed to see his father wasn't dead, and he and everyone else helped the people in the gorge out. Rouge ended up having to fly Dot out because she didn't want to climb and get her "pretty skirt" dirty.

* * *

When everyone was out of the gorge, they went across the bridge (Knuckles had to literally carry Rouge to keep her from making people fall again) and safely made it to the end. Gilbert and Ludwig regained consciousness a few minutes later.

"Roddy?" the boys asked when they saw their cousin watching them.

"Gilbo, Lui, thank God you're okay," a relieved Roderich said and helped them up.

"Do either of you want to come with us?" Gilbert asked Kid and Lord Death.

"Sorry, but I have to guard the bridge," said Lord Death.

"And I still have to train to be the next guardian," said Kid.

"Okay," Gilbert said. "See ya around, then."

"Thanks for helping us out of that gorge," said Roderich. "Come on, Gilbo, Lui." He ushered his cousins forward, but Gilbert stopped and went back up to Kid and Lord Death. "Gilbo, what are you doing?"

* * *

Gilbert took out a picture of his dad. "Have either of you seen my dad recently?"

Kid took a good look at the picture. "That's...Claus Beilschmidt! _The_ Claus Beilschmidt! Th=the son of Germania Beilschmidt!"

Lord Death looked at the picture as well. "That _is_ Claus. You know, your little brother looks like a miniature version of him."

"Yeah," said Gilbert. "Now, have you seen my dad?"

"Yes," said Lord Death. "He and his friends came by a while ago."

"A while ago?" Gilbert asked excitedly. "When? Tell me!"

"Two months back," Lord Death replied. "Nice guy. He talked about his wife and kids a lot, and said that he had to get the Holy Grail back for his country's safety."

"Do you know where he went?" Gilbert asked.

"Sorry, I don't know," Lord Death said apologetically. "Although I think he and his buddies were headed to Ticktockia...I'm not too sure."

"Thanks," Gilbert said with a smile. Before he could go back to his brother, cousin and friends, Lord Death stopped him and said something else.

"Oh, by the way, your father and the other men with him were geniuses," said Lord Death. "All of them answered all three of my questions correctly...except for that Russian guy...what's his name?...Braginski. That's right. Nikolas Braginski."

"Oh, Ivan's dad? Yeah, he's not real smart," said Gilbert.

"Dad, can I go with Gilbert and the others?" Kid asked, nearly jumping out of his shoes. "I have to meet Claus Beilschmidt in person; I just _have_ to! Please? Besides, I owe them."

"Well...alright," said Lord Death. "I'll contact Lid and Patty and have them meet you guys at the Ticktockian border."

"Thanks!" said Kid. "I promise, when this quest is over, I'll come back and help you guard the bridge. Bye, Dad!" Kid was so excited that when he ran to catch up with Gilbert and the others, he almost fell in the dirt.

* * *

"Gilbo, why is Kid traveling with us?" Roderich asked.

"He wanted to," said Gilbert. "He wants to meet Dad, and he also said that he owes us."

"I do," said Kid. "You guys helped save my father from the Gorge of eternal Peril, so helping you find the Grail is the least I can do."

"Thanks," said Elizabeta.

With Death the Kid as a new addition to their posse, the kids all continued on their quest.

* * *

First, everyone had to get their wounds treated, so they made a quick stop at a train station.

"Shouldn't these guys go to the hospital?" asked Roderich.

"There's no hospital around for miles," said Elizabeta. "We'll get them to a hospital when we reach a town, Roddykins."

"OW! KEEP THAT STUFF AWAY FROM ME!" Dot shouted as she struggled.

"We have to clean your wounds, or they'll get infected!" said Nina. She and Layfon struggled to hold Dot still.

Katyusha sighed. "Honestly, Dot, you're worse than Ivan at bathtime."

"Worst time of the day," Ivan commented. "Along with when I have to go to school."

"I thought you liked school," said Toris.

"I do," said Ivan. "I just don't like having to sit next to Natalia on the bus."

* * *

"Lunch is ready," Felli said. She presented some more Beetho-burgers that Harley made. Yes, the children all had to resort to eating Roderich's sheet music again; they still had no food, after all!

Kid bit into a Beetho-burger. "Mmm. This is good. What's in this?"

"It's one of our new specialties," said Felli.

"We call them Beetho-burgers, aru," said Yao.

"Why do you call it ?" Kid asked, but them pulled out a piece of paper. It had the name of the piece and music notes on it. "Hm. Looks like we're eating Beethoven's 3rd."

"That's right," said Vash. "Chow down."

Gilbert and Ludwig were about to keep eating their Beetho-burgers when they heard something fall on the ground. They looked over and saw that Roderich had fainted, probably from seeing his music getting eaten again.

"Lizzie, Roddy fainted," Ludwig said to Elizabeta.

"What do we do?" asked Gilbert.

Elizabeta looked over at where the boys were pointing, and gasped. "Roddykins!"

"Just leave him there," Vash said nonchalantly.


	23. To Ticktockia!

**Chapter 22: To Ticktockia!**

The next day, the kids all set out to continue on their journey.

* * *

"Sonic, would you mind if I fixed your quills?" Kid asked.

Sonic looked confused. "Uh...why, Kid? What's wrong with 'em?"

Kid was really uncomfortable with seeing Sonic's quills. "Well, your quills...they're all...asymmetrical!" Blood spurted out of Kid's nose as he fell on his back.

"WAAAAHHHH!" a scared Ludwig cried. "Gilbo, why's Kid's nose bleeding?"

"I-I dunno," said an equally scared Gilbert. "I dunno. Roddy, why's Kid's nose bleeding like that? Can't you stop it?"

"Huh?" Roderich asked. "Why _me_?"

"Just stop his nose from bleeding!" said Gilbert. He was trying to get Ludwig to stop crying. "He's making West cry!"

"Okay, okay," said Roderich. "Lizzie, Vash, help me here."

"Right," said Elizabeta. She and Roderich both held tissues to Kid's nose in order to stop the bleeding, while Vash held Kid down.

"Is he done yet?" Ludwig whimpered.

"Uh, not quite," said Nina.

"Lovino, Feliciano, get some tissues," Elizabeta said to the Vargas brothers.

"Okay," said Feliciano. He pulled Lovino with him, and the two rummaged through Roderich's bag.

"Hey!" said Roderich as he saw the Italians going through his stuff.

Lovino and Feliciano came back with the tissues.

"Why do you have so many tissues, Four-Eyes?" Lovino asked.

"For Gilbo," Roderich replied. "And don't call me Four-Eyes." He and Elizabeta took the tissues and held them to Kid's nose to stop the bleeding.

* * *

About half an hour later, Roderich and Elizabeta finally took the tissues away from Kid's nose.

Ludwig had his face buried in Gilbert's shirt. "Gilbo, tell me when it's over."

"It's over, West," said Gilbert.

Ludwig took a peek to make sure Gilbert was telling the truth. Indeed he was, because Kid's nose stopped bleeding finally! "Yay, no more blood!"

Lovino snatched the bloody tissues from Roderich and Elizabeta and shoved then in Ludwig's face. "Hey, Potato, take a look."

Ludwig screamed and clung to Gilbert again. "Gilbo, he's scaring me!"

"Cut it out, Lovino!" Gilbert yelled.

"Hey, you okay?" Matthew asked Kid, who sat up after his nosebleed ordeal.

"Who are you?" Kumajirou asked.

"I'm Matthew," said Matthew. He fished out a can of Bumblebee tuna and opened it. He set it down in front of Kumajirou. "Here, have some fish."

Kumajirou made happy noises as he dug into the fish Matthew served him.

"Yo, Kid, Mattie asked you if you were okay," said Alfred. "Helloooooo." he waved his hands in front of Kid's face.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kid said quietly.

"That's good," said Knuckles. "Come on, everyone, we have to move."

* * *

"Ketsu!" a male voice behind the travelers yelled.

The kids were almost at the Ticktockian border, when they were suddenly trapped in a blue barrier, except for Rouge, who was flying.

"Too bad you guys can't fly like me," said Rouge.

"Oh, shut up," said Knuckles. "Hey, whoever's doing this, let us the hell out!"

"Ketsu!" a female voice yelled, trapping Rouge inside a green barrier.

"Hey!" said the bat.

Ludwig started to get scared and started crying again.

Gilbert put his arm around Ludwig and got mad. "Let us out! Don't you know who we are?"

Two teenagers came out from behind a boulder. One was a sixteen-year-old girl with long brown hair in a ponytail; the other, a fourteen-year-old boy with messy black hair.

"That's what we want to know," said the girl.

"Hey, nice aim, Tokine," the boy commented at Tokine's capture of Rouge.

"Thanks, Yoshimori," said Tokine.

"Now, who are you?" asked Yoshimori.

Everyone introduced themselves, including the Warner siblings.

"I'm Yakko Warner."

"I'm Wakko Warner."

"And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bo Besca the Third," said Dot.

"Uh...in English, please?" said Yoshimori while Tokine held her head like she had a headache.

Dot pouted. "Alright. Call me Dot."

"Hey, we know you!" Tokine said to Roderich as she and Yoshimori let their barriers down.

"You do?" Roderich asked.

"Yeah," said Yoshimori. "We were passing through Hetalia Falls, and we heard you playing the piano at your house, so we decided to drop in and listen. Remember? It was last year."

"Oh, yeah!" said Roderich. "Yoshi and Toki, right?"

"Yes," said Tokine. "But those were our aliases for travel. Our real names are Tokine Yukimura and Yoshimori Sumimura."

"Like the royal family that rules Suujiku and the noble Yukimura family?" Gilbert asked.

"Exactly," Yoshimori said and smiled at Gilbert. "Actually, I'm the second prince, so my big brother Masamori's gonna be king someday."

"Cool," said Gilbert.

"So, what are you guys doing near Ticktockia?" Tails asked.

"Yeah, what are you doing here?" asked Natalia.

"We're looking for the Holy Grail," Tokine replied. "We're also looking for my father and Yoshimori's brother, because they were looking for the Grail as well."

"They never came back from their quest," Yoshimori added. "It's been six months since anyone last saw them."

"Hey, we're looking for the Grail, too," said Ludwig.

"Yeah, and West and I are also looking for our dad," Gilbert said. "He and some of his buddies from Hetalia Falls went looking for the Grail six months ago but never came back."

"How about we team up?" asked Layfon.

"Sure," Yoshimori replied.

"I don't know, Yoshimori..." Tokine said quietly.

Yoshimori spoke in the same quiet tone as Tokine. "Come on, Tokine. Gilbert and Ludwig are the grandsons of Germania Beilschmidt, one of the greatest warriors in all of Suujiku! We can trust them and their friends, trust me. Plus, we could use a large group if we're going into Ticktockia. Those Ticktockians are ruthless!"

"Okay, Yoshimori," said Tokine. She sighed. "You win."

"Okay, guys," said Yoshimori. "Let's team up."

"Yeah!" the kids cheered.

"Oh, these guys aren't on our team," Roderich said about the Warners. "They're just bothering us."

"Hey!" Yakko said.

"We're helping you, Roddykins!" said Wakko.

"Don't call me that!" said Roderich.

"Okay, okay, enough fighting, aru," said Yao. "Let's just go."

Everyone followed Knuckles to the border of Ticktockia, which they reached in an hour.

* * *

The kids arrived at the border of Ticktockia an hour later. There they saw Elizabeth "Liz" and Patricia "Patty" Thompson, who were waiting for Kid.

"Kid, Kid, Kid!" Patty squealed as she glomped Kid and tackled him to the ground. "We missed you!"

"Patty, get off!" said Kid.

"Alright, Patty, enough," Liz said and pulled her sister off Kid.

"Thanks, Liz," said Kid. He got up and brushed the dirt off his clothes.

"So, we're looking for the Holy Grail, right?" Liz asked. She saw the rest of the kids. "Who are they, Kid?"

"These are my new friends," Kid said. "They need to get the Grail back to Suujiku, so I'm helping them. So, you coming?"

"Yeah!" said Patty.

"I wouldn't miss this," said Liz.

"So, that's Ticktockia?" Katyusha asked.

"Yeah," said Knuckles. "Let's go." He led the kids into the country of Ticktockia.


	24. Planning a Break In

**Chapter 23: Planning a Break-in**

The kids got into Ticktockia fairly easily. Rouge turned and started walking away.

"Hey, Rouge, where are you going?" Knuckles asked.

"Wait right here, guys," said Rouge. "I've gotta go get changed."

"Changed?" Knuckles exclaimed. "Why the hell would you change into a different outfit at a time like this, you stupid bat?"

Rouge didn't answer, and instead went behind a building. When she came out minutes later, she was wearing a ninja costume.

"What's that for?" asked Tails.

"This is my disguise," said Rouge. "Oh, by the way, you all better get into some disguises, too."

"Why would we _need_ disguises in the first place?" Kid asked. "Nobody here knows who we are just by looking at us, so what's the point?"

"I dunno," Rouge replied.

"Exactly," Tokine said in an irritated manner; the female bat was getting on her nerves. "So take that off."

Rouge pouted. "Fine." She stomped back behind the building, then came out minutes later, back in her original outfit.

"That's better," said Amy. "Now, let's go, we have to find the Grail."

"And my and West's dad," Gilbert added. He prayed in his head that he and Ludwig would find their missing father in this place.

"Oh, would you shut up about your stupid dad already, kid?" Rouge said, getting in the now upset child's face. "For all _you_ know, your dear daddy probably couldn't stand you and your demon hair and eyes anymore, so he left, and _lied_ about looking for the Grail!" Gilbert started crying, and Rouge turned around to see glares being shot at her from everybody else in the massive search party. Even Lovino was angry at Rouge for hurting Gilbert's feelings like that! "Uh...sorry...?"

"You can stuff your sorries in a sack, bat," Layfon said, his fists clenched; he was trying very hard to keep himself from punching Rouge.

"How dare you say that to my cousin?" an angry Roderich asked. He was hugging Gilbert. "Ssh, don't cry, Gilbo. Your dad didn't leave you, Rouge is just being a bitch. Don't worry, we'll find him."

Gilbert sniffled and looked up at Roderich. "Really, Roddy?"

"Of course," Roderich said gently.

"Yeah, Gilbo, don't cry," said Ludwig. He glared at Rouge as if to say 'How dare you hurt my big brother, you batty bitch?'

* * *

After Gilbert calmed down, the party kept on going.

"Okay, everyone, try not to act suspicious," said Vash. He and the search party passed a building; it was an art museum. Sharnid stopped when he saw a painting of a woman.

"Whoa!" Sharnid said when he saw the painting of the woman. He growled seductively; the woman in the painting didn't have any clothes on.

"Sharnid Elipton!" Roderich scolded.

"Now _that's_ what I call the enriching world of art!" said Sharnid. before he could say anything more, Roderich had covered the boy's mouth and eyes.

"Hm," said Roderich as he looked at the painting. "Not bad. Not bad at all. Man, she's so hot, just like Robin, and Nami, and Lenalee, and—Mmph!" Roderich's mouth and eyes were covered by Elizabeta, who was giving him a scolding glare.

"Alright, come on, you two perverts," said Elizabeta. She and Yao dragged Roderich and Sharnid away from the painting. Just as quickly as Roderich and Sharnid were dragged away, Ludwig ran up to the painting and looked at it with wide eyes.

"Wow, she's hot," Ludwig said as he kept ogling the woman in the painting.

"Ludwig!" Nina exclaimed. She pulled her cousin away, and everyone headed out of the museum.

* * *

Later, the search party met in an alley, so nobody could see them.

Vash peeked out of the alley and saw an enormous castle. "Is that the Ticktockian palace?"

"Yup," said Knuckles. "That's it, alright."

"You think that's where the Grail is?" asked Katyusha.

"I'm sure of it," Knuckles replied. Matthew shuddered at the thought of going inside that place.

"How will we get in?" Toris asked. "That place looks heavily guarded."

"Like, that ugly palace needs a total makeover!" said Feliks.

"Feliks Lukasiewicz, shut the hell up!" said Tokine. "Stick to the program!"

"Ooooooooohhhhhhh," Gilbert and Ludwig said. "Tokine said 'shut the hell uuuuuuup'."

Knuckles cleared his throat. "Moving on. The castle will probably have guards at almost every door. So we'd have to find a way to get in without them finding out who we are."

"I could just run in and get the Grail," Sonic said confidently.

"You could," said Knuckles. "However, there are lots of booby traps. I heard these people are masters at this kind of stuff. Plus, we're also going to save the people who were captured and brought here."

"Oh," Sonic said. He was embarrassed. "I forgot about them."

"Why am I not surprised?" Knuckles asked rhetorically and sarcastically.

"Maybe we could pretend we're making a delivery and sneak in that way," Liz suggested.

"That's a great idea, sis!" said Patty.

"Sounds like a good plan," said Amy.

"Can we make the delivery symmetrical?" Kid asked.

"SHUT UP ABOUT THE STUPID SYMMETRY!" everyone shouted at Kid.

"You do not need to raise your voices at me!" said Kid.

"Will everyone just stick to the damn plan?" Yoshimori yelled. "No more symmetry crap, no more whining, just make a stinking plan! Okay? Okay!"

"But what are we gonna pretend to deliver?" Sonic asked.

"I could figure out what they're expecting," said Tails. "Then we could pretend to deliver that. That way we don't raise any suspicions."

"That's a great idea, Tails," Matthew said.

"Who are you?" Kumajirou asked.

"I'm Matthew, silly Kumajirou," Matthew said.

"Alright, I'll hack into their computers and see what the castle's expecting," Tails said. He pulled out a laptop out of nowhere and began hacking. "Got it! They're expecting a shipment of ammunition. And it's being delivered today!"

"Okay, let's go get that ammo," said Vash. He sounded excited; Vash Zwingli loved his guns and ammo, after all.

* * *

The search party ran around, looking for any sign of a delivery truck. They finally found one about an hour and a half later, at a rest stop.

"Alright," Knuckles said. "Let's make sure this truck doesn't show up while we're busting into the castle."

"Leave it to me, the hero!" Alfred said. He ran up to the truck.

"Al, no!" Arthur said worriedly. He then saw Alfred pick the truck up, spin it around a few times like a basketball, then throw it. Arthur sighed in relief, while everyone stared wide-eyed at what Alfred just did.

"Good job, kid," said Knuckles.

"Wow, Alfred's strong," Feliciano said.

"Whatever," said Lovino. "I want a tomato!"

"Here you go, Lovi," said Antonio. he pulled a tomato out of his pocket and handed it to Lovino.

"Well, they most definitely won't be getting the actual delivery," Felli said.

"Now a couple of us have to dress up like delivery people," Alfred said.

"Since Lizzie and I are the most mature people in this party, we'll do it," said Roderich.

"I'll do it, too," said Vash.

"Oh, no you won't," said Roderich. "You're an unrefined brute."

"HEY!" Vash yelled. He punched Roderich, giving the Austrian a black eye. "Unrefined brute, huh?"

"Can we please not fight?" Dot asked. "We need to get to the castle!"

"Yeah, you're right," Vash said. "But I'm still going as a delivery boy."

"Fine," Roderich said and stuck his tongue out at the Swiss teen. "Okay, everyone else, get some big boxes and hide in those. You all are gonna be the shipment. Lizzie, get in the truck."

* * *

Some time later, everyone came back with boxes big enough for multiple people to fit in. The people who were pretending to be the ammo got in, and Roderich, Vash, and Elizabeta loaded them into the back of a truck that was disguised to look like a delivery truck, complete with the Ticktockia royal crest painted on one side, then got into the driver's part of the truck. They got ready to complete their mission.

* * *

Gilbert was in one of the boxes with Ludwig, Feliciano, Lovino, Yao, and Kiku. he had his knees up to his chest, and Ludwig and Feliciano decided to use him as their pillow.

_'Hang in there, Dad,' _he thought. _'We're coming.'_


	25. Grail Retrieval Under Way

**Chapter 24: Grail Retrieval Under Way**

_'Hang in there, Dad. We're coming,' _Gilbert thought as two guards stopped Roderich, Elizabeta, and Vash at the palace gate.

* * *

"State your business," one of the guards commanded.

"We're here to deliver the ammunition the King ordered," Roderich said.

"I see," another guard said. "Well, go on inside, then." Roderich, Elizabeta, and Vash then drove in.

"That was almost too easy," Roderich commented.

"Just shut the hell up and keep driving or I'll beat you with my Peace Prize!" said Vash. He took out a Nobel Peace Prize and held it in Roderich's face.

"Vash, cut it out!" Elizabeta said. "And how did you get that thing, anyway?"

"My dad," Vash replied.

"Your dad?" Roderich and Elizabeta asked him.

"Yeah," said Vash. "He won it when we were all nine, remember?"

"Oh, yeah, how could I forget?" said Roderich. "You were rubbing your father's victory in my face for days."

"Let's just focus on the damn mission at hand here," said an exasperated Elizabeta.

They parked the truck and got ready to unload the boxes containing their friends, when some palace workers named Mey-Rin, Bard, and Finnian came up.

"Would you like us to help you unload those things?" Bard asked.

"Yeah, sure," said Roderich. "After all, a great pianist like myself can't be seen unloading boxes!"

* * *

In his box, Gilbert facepalmed. _'Geez, Roddy, you're such a drama king...or drama queen...whatever!'_

* * *

"Okey-dokey," said Finnian. He took the box containing Gilbert, Ludwig, Feliciano, Lovino, Yao, and Kiku and threw it, just barely missing his two companions.

"Whoa!" Gilbert and the other kids shouted as they were hurled through the air.

"YAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Feliciano screamed as he held onto his brother.

"CHIGIIIIIIIII!" Lovino screamed louder.

"Ouch!" the children yelled as they hit the ground. The others in the rest of the boxes yelled in pain when they hit the ground as well, until Mey-Rin and Bard stopped Finnian.

"Finny!" said Mey-Rin.

"Stop that!" said Bard. "The King's gonna be bloody angry with us, he is!"

"AAAAAHHHH, I'M SO SORRY!" Finnian exclaimed. "I didn't break anything, did I?"

"Let me take a look," said Roderich. He opened the boxes to see if everyone was okay. Once he was satisfied that nobody was dead or hurt, he closed the boxes again. "No, everything's fine. No broken stuff."

"Phew," Finnian said in relief. "That's good."

"We'll help you get the rest, we will," Mey-Rin said. She and Bard helped Roderich, Elizabeta, and Vash lift the boxes, then carried them to the weapon and ammunition storage room.

"Thanks, guys," said Vash.

"No problem," said Bard.

"Happy to help," said Mey-Rin.

"Hope to see you around," Finnian said. he and the other two left to go do their tasks.

Vash made sure that they were, indeed, alone. Then he spoke to the boxes. "Okay, all clear. You can come out now."

The others opened their boxes and got out.

"Thank God!" said Gilbert.

"I was getting bloody cramped in there," said Arthur.

"I think I twisted my spine or something," Kid complained.

"Man, it was hard to breathe in there," Knuckles said.

"Yuck! Wakko farted in here!" said Dot. She and Yakko climbed out of their box, gasping for air and holding their noses.

"Hey, I can't help it," said Wakko.

"You're gross!" said Dot.

"It wasn't _that _bad," Wakko protested.

Sharnid sniffed at the inside of the Warners' box. "BLECH! Ugh, gross!" He stumbled back, covering his mouth and nose. Then he threw up all over the floor.

"Gross," Felli said in her usual monotone voice.

Rouge took out a map and unrolled it. "Now, here's the layout of the entire palace."

"Where'd you get that map?" Nina asked.

"Oh, I've got my ways, I've got my ways," Rouge said in a mysterious manner.

"You stole it, didn't you?" Knuckles asked.

"Okay, so I stole it," Rouge said, annoyed. "These people stole something from Suujiku."

"Good point," said Knuckles.

"And it's not like I'm taking the map home with us," said Rouge.

"You better return that when we're done," said Sonic.

"Don't worry, I will," said Rouge. "Now, here's where we are"—she pointed to a place on the map that was labeled "Weapons and Ammo Storage"—"and there's a few places where the Holy Grail is most likely being kept. One would be the Treasure Room, and the other would probably be the King's bedchamber." She pointed to the Treasure Room and the King's bedchamber. "The prisoners are most likely in the dungeons, and a few of them are probably in either of these towers. So we'll probably have to split up into different groups. A handful of us will go look for the Grail, and the rest of us will look for either the prisoners or the King."

With that, the kids all split up.

* * *

Gilbert and Ludwig were walking the halls of the palace, lost.

"Gilbo, what if we don't find Daddy?" Ludwig asked. he was getting scared about being lost in such a huge, strange place. "This place is big."

"Don't worry, bro, we'll find him," said Gilbert. "Come on, we've gotta keep looking for the dungeons." he and Ludwig kept on walking.

"I think we're getting close," said Tails.

"Yeah, but I didn't bother to copy Rouge's map," Vash said. "How are we gonna find our way to the dungeons?"

Patty went up to a guard. "Excuse me, sir, could you tell us where the dungeons are?"

"Patty, you idiot!" Vash said to the girl.

"Vash, cool it," Liz said quietly. "Relax, okay? Ticktockia has been known for not hiring the best guards, so we're alright. Most of these guards are idiots."

"Gladly," said the guard. Lucky for them, he was indeed an idiot, and talked like a hippie. "Just go down the hall and make a right, Missy."

"Thanks!" said Patty. "Come on, everyone." She led the others down the hall, towards the dungeons. Unfortunately, they quickly found themselves surrounded by a bunch of more intelligent guards, who knew that Vash, Gilbert, Ludwig, Liz, and Patty weren't supposed to be there.

"Looks like they got better with hiring guards," said Vash.

"Okay, so I was wrong," said Liz. "Oops."

"Uh..." Gilbert said. He gulped and grabbed Ludwig's arm. "W-We'll be going now...RUN!" he pulled his baby brother along, trying to get past the guards.

"Oh, no you don't!" a guard named Clovis yelled. he pinned Gilbert down while another guard named Schneizel forced the kid to let go of Ludwig's arm.

"Gilbo, help me!" Ludwig cried as Vash, Liz, and Patty were pinned down as well by the other guards.

"West!" Gilbert shouted. "Let my brother go!"

"Come on, guys," the leader of the group of guards, Raditz, said. "Let's throw these kids in the dungeons."

"No!" Gilbert and Ludwig cried, trying to get free of Clovis and Schneizel.

* * *

The guards dragged the kids down the rest of the hall and stopped at several cells.

"Make yourselves at home," Schneizel said in a not-so-nice tone as he and Clovis threw the Beilschmidt brothers in one cell. The other guards did the same to Vash, and the Thompson sisters. The cell doors slammed and were locked.

"Let us out of here!" Gilbert shouted as the guards left. Then he sat back, buried his head in his arms, and started bawling. "I wanna go home!" It was Gilbert's turn to be the crybaby, which made Ludwig take over the position of tough brother.

"It's okay, Gilbo," Ludwig said, trying to make his big brother feel better. "We'll get out of here, don't worry."

"Gilbo? Lui?" a voice asked. The boys turned and smiled when they saw who the voice belonged to: their missing father, Claus.

"Dad!/Daddy!" the brothers exclaimed. They ran to Claus and hugged him.

"What are you two doing here?" Claus asked.

"God came to our house a while back," Gilbert explained as he wiped his eyes and nose. "He said we had to go get the Grail back."

"Yeah, and we got a team together," Ludwig added.

"How are we gonna get outta here?" Gilbert asked. "I just wanna go home."

"I don't know," said Claus. "But don't you worry, we will. And we'll get the Grail back, and return to Suujiku."


	26. The Great and Funny Escape

**Chapter 25: The Great (and Funny) Escape**

Claus, Gilbert, and Ludwig had been sitting in their cell for some time—probably for a few hours—trying to think of some way to escape and get the Grail out of the Ticktockian king's hands. So far, neither one of them had come up with any ideas.

* * *

"Any ideas yet?" Vash called from his cell.

"No," a frustrated Ludwig called back. Then he crossed his arms and pouted. "This stinks. I want outta here!"

"Don't worry, we'll get out of here," Tails said.

Just then, they heard the door open and two guards dragging Sharnid and Felli into the dungeon. The whole time, Sharnid was yelling at the guards to let him go, until they finally threw him and Felli into a cell.

"Sharnid," Gilbert said. "How did you and Felli get here?"

"They caught us," said Sharnid.

"Yeah, no thanks to you and your horrible singing," Felli said back.

"Hey!" Sharnid whined. "My singing's the best, and you're just jealous because I can sing and you can't."

"He was singing?" Tails asked.

"Yes, he wouldn't stop singing "On My Way" from _Brother Bear_," said Felli.

Vash facepalmed. "You are so stupid. Maybe I'll beat you with my dad's Peace Prize instead of Roderich McPimp."

"What?" Claus asked. "My nephew's a pimp?"

"Long story," Gilbert and Ludwig told their dad.

* * *

"Anyone come up with any ideas _yet_?" Gilbert asked.

"Unfortunately, no," said Vash.

_"Hey, shut up!" _one of the guards, Weevil Underwood, yelled after banging on the door to the dungeon. Gilbert stuck his tongue at the door and gave Weevil the finger. Claus looked proud of Gilbert for doing that.

_"I have an idea," _Felli said telepathically. _"Someone could fake being sick or hurt, and one of the guards will come by and see what's wrong. Then that person can steal the keys, and we can get the hell outta here."_

"Daddy, she said hell," Ludwig said in a tattletale voice.

Gilbert grabbed Ludwig's ear. "Not now, West!"

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" Ludwig whined. "Alright, alright, I'll shut up!"

"Gilbert, stop pulling your brother's ear," Claus said.

"Sorry, Dad," Gilbert said and let go of his little brother's ear. "Who'd be good at faking sickness or injury?"

"Got it covered," Liz said. She took out a picture of some modern art that looked asymmetrical. "Hey, Kid, look at this." She shoved the photograph in Kid's face.

"Oh no..." Kid said. "The asymmetry...it's horrible!" His nose spurted blood, causing him to fall to the floor of his cell.

"Kid!" Patty exclaimed. "Liz, why'd you do that?"

"Patty, you idiot," Liz said. "I had to. Part of the plan, remember?"

"Oh," Patty said in the same tone as Osaka from _Azumanga Daioh_.

A guard by the name of Seto Kaiba came in. "I heard screaming. What's going on back here?"

"I think my friend's sick," Liz said, feigning worry. "Blood just came gushing out of his nose, and he fainted!"

Kaiba took out a key to the cell. "Alright, let me get in there, and we'll take him to the infirmary." He unlocked the door.

"Now, Patty!" Liz said. She and Patty jumped at Kaiba and tackled him to the ground.

"Hey! What's going on here?" Kaiba yelled. "Get off me, you dumb broads!"

"I and Liz ain't dumb," Patty said.

"You mean _'Liz and I aren't dumb'_, Patty," Kid said; he was, by this time, awake.

"Stay out of this, or I'll show you the asymmetrical artwork again," Liz said to Kid.

"No! Anything but that! Pleeeeaaaase, I beg you, anything but the asymmetry!" Kid pleaded.

Liz and Patty both delivered punches, which knocked him out.

"That...takes care...of that," Liz said as she, Patty, and Kid exited their cell, using Kaiba as a doormat for their filthy shoes. Then they unlocked the other cell doors and let the prisoners out.

"Thanks, guys," said Tails.

"Yeah, way to think on your feet, Liz," said Sharnid.

"Actually, it was Felli's plan, remember?" Liz replied.

"Oh, that's right, Felli, I forgot about you," said Sharnid. He shivered when Felli fixed him with a death glare.

"Let's just get out of this place," said Claus.

"Okay," the Beilschmidt brothers said. They and the others ran out of the dungeon door as fast as they could, smashing Weevil behind the door without even realizing it.

* * *

"Ouch..." Weevil said. "Somebody…Rex...help me..." He fainted, and his glasses were broken.


	27. More Allies and Found Friends

**Chapter 26: More Allies and Found Friends**

After escaping their cell, the Beilschmidt brothers and their group found and freed the other prisoners, then continued sneaking around the palace, looking for the Holy Grail. While freeing the other prisoners, they managed to free Tokine's father, Tokio, and Yoshimori's mother, Sumiko, and his older brother, Masamori.

"Is there _anyone_ in your family who doesn't have -mori in their name?" Gilbert asked Masamori. "Besides your mom?"

"Well, there was my grandmother, and my great-grandmother, and—" Masamori began.

"BESIDES THE GIRLS!" Gilbert and Ludwig both yelled in annoyance.

"Actually, every man in our family has the suffix "-mori" in their name," said Sumiko. "It's a tradition."

"My family has a similar tradition," said Tokio. "In my family, everyone has the prefix "Toki" in it. Except the ones who are Yukimuras by marriage, of course."

"Tradition, schmadition, it's stupid," Gilbert said. That earned a scolding glare from his father. "Sorry, Dad."

"Hey, Felli, could you use your Nenni and see if there's anyone coming?" Sharnid asked.

"Sure," said Felli. She activated her Nenni, which enabled her to see every nook and cranny of the castle. She found someone. "There's someone heading our way. It's hard to tell who it is, though, because they're not close enough."

"Alright, let's get ready to ambush them!" Liz said.

"Is that really a good idea?" asked Tails. "What if it's someone from our group?"

"We'll have to take that chance," said Kid. "It could be a guard wearing asymmetrical armor, for all we know!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT STUPID SYMMETRY ALREADY?" Liz shouted into Kid's ear, making the Grim-Reaper-in-training cover his ears in pain.

Masamori shushed Liz and Kid. "Everyone, grab something. I think they're getting closer!" He and everyone else grabbed something to use as a weapon. Then Masamori made a kekkai appear and hit whoever was coming on the head once they were close enough.

Everyone heard a loud _bonk!_, and a thud. They went to see who Masamori had hit, and found Rouge, who was, at the moment, unconscious on the floor.

"Oh no, Rouge!" said Tails.

"Rouge, are you okay?" everyone heard Nina call. When she came into view, she saw the unconscious thieving bat, and her uncle and cousins, along with everyone else who had just escaped from their cells. "What happened?"

Ludwig looked embarrassed. "We thought Rouge was an enemy, so the big -mori guy here whacked her on the head with some cubey thingy."

"First of all, kid, it's called a kekkai," said Masamori. "And second, my name isn't "The big -mori guy". It's Masamori."

"Whatever," said Ludwig. He pouted when he heard Gilbert snicker at the name he had called Yoshimori's big brother.

"Hey, Nina, what's going on over there?" Knuckles asked, also coming into view.

"This guy just hit Rouge on the head with a barrier of some sort," Nina explained. "And I found my cousins and uncle, and everyone else, along with a few other people who were being held here."

Knuckles picked Rouge up. "Poor Rouge. That's a shame, being hit on the head by a Sumimura's barrier. Must've been trying to steal his stuff or something, as usual."

"Actually, no, she wasn't," said Masamori. "It was an accident."

"Like, what happened to Rouge?" Feliks asked, catching up to Knuckles and Nina. Toris was right by his side.

"Oh, Masamori Sumimura here hit her on the head, thinking she was a bad guy," said Knuckles. He turned to Masamori. "Are you sure she wasn't trying to steal your stuff? Because if she was, you can say so."

"No, really, she wasn't trying to steal my stuff," said Masamori. "We didn't see who she was, so we assumed she was an enemy."

"Can we go now?" Gilbert asked impatiently. "I wanna get the Grail and go home."

"Okay, son," Claus said. "Everyone, let's go!"

While they were talking, Rouge started to wake up and saw Knuckles holding her. "Oh, Knucky-poo, you _do_ care for me." She put her arms around Knuckles, which made the echidna feel uneasy.

"Get off me, Rouge!" Knuckles said. He dropped Rouge on the floor after successfully getting her off him.

"That's no way to treat a lady," Rouge nagged.

"Since when are _you_ a lady?" Knuckles asked mockingly.

"Maybe I should've pretended to be unconscious a little longer," Rouge said. "Then you would've done mouth-to-mouth resuscitation." She finished up with a wink.

"Blech!" Knuckles exclaimed. "Yuck, no way on Earth!"

"Are you guys finished yet?" Vash asked, his eye twitching. "'cause we're going ahead." He and the others left without Knuckles and Rouge.

"Wait for us!" Knuckles and Rouge yelled, running after their group.

* * *

While the Beilschmidts and their group raced through the castle, ducking behind walls whenever they saw guards coming their way, they finally ran into Roderich, Elizabeta, Harley, the Vargas, Braginski, Jones, and Honda sibs, Sonic, Amy, Francis, Antonio, and Layfon. Long story short, they ran into the rest of their group, excluding Yoshimori, Tokine, their dogs, and the Warner sibs.

Ivan tried hiding behind Toris because Natalia was being her usual scary-as-Hell self.

"Big Brother, let's become one!" Natalia exclaimed, trying to get to Ivan. "Come ooooooonnnnnnnn! Marry meeeeeee! MARRY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Nooooo, I don't want to!" Ivan cried. He pushed Toris closer to Natalia, much to Feliks' displeasure. "Here, take Toris, marry _him_! Please, leave me alone! Go away!"

Feliks kicked Ivan where the sun doesn't shine.

"OW!" Ivan shouted.

"Like, don't you even _think_ about making Liet a sacrifice to Natalia!" Feliks said, glaring daggers at the Russian boy. "Or else Russia's capital's totally gonna be Warsaw!" He and Ivan stuck their tongues at each other, and Feliks flipped Ivan off, while Katyusha held Natalia back.

"Will you guys stop it?" Amy said. "This isn't the time or the place to be getting into stuff like this."

"Sorry," Feliks and Ivan said.

"Now that we're all back together, there's one thing I'd like to ask," Roderich said. "Did anyone find any clues as to where the Grail could be in this vulgar place?"

Everyone gave their own replies. They were all worded differently, but they all had the same meaning: No.

"Roddykins, I just did a head count," said Elizabeta.

"Who's missing this time?" Roderich asked tiredly. "It better not be Gilbert."

"I'm right here, Roddykins!" Gilbert said.

"Don't call me Roddykins!" Roderich said to his cousin. "Is your name Elizabeta Hedervary? No! So you can't call me that. Now, back to the one who's missing: Is it Matthew?"

"Matthew's standing next to me, dude," Alfred said, pointing to his brother.

"Yeah!" said Matthew.

"Another Alfred?" Roderich asked.

"I'M MATTHEW, DAMMIT!" Matthew shouted.

"Okay, okay, sorry," Roderich said hastily. "It's not Sonic again, is it?"

"No, I'm obviously right here, Four-Eyes," said Sonic. "Why do you wear those, anyway? I know fake glasses when I see them."

"I look plain without them, you moron," Roderich said in a snobby manner.

"Roderich Edelstein, don't call anyone a moron," Claus scolded his nephew.

"Sorry, Uncle Claus," said Roderich. "Anyway, Lizzie, who's missing?"

"Yoshimori, Tokine, and the Warner kids," said Elizabeta. "I don't see Yoshimori and Tokine's floating dogs, either."

"My baby's here?" Sumiko exclaimed fearfully.

"My poor little girl!" said Tokio.

"Oh, shit," Masamori said worriedly. "He better be safe, as in _not in any danger whatsoever_."

Roderich sighed. "Okay, guys, let's go find the kids and the floating dogs. Come on."

"Right," everyone else said, and started searching for Yoshimori, Tokine, the Warner sibs, Madarao, and Hakubi.


End file.
